>I have what OP describes like crazy, I beat myself up over it frequently and think I need to do better. Yet somehow I keep getting glowing reviews at work and even just got promoted without asking.
Hey, I have a PhD in mathematics, work experience in Microsoft and Google (among others), glowing reviews and all.
And you know what would have been great? Getting treatment in high school, so that getting here would have been a much more peaceful process, without so much pain, beating myself up, and being chronically depressed because of it.
Professional success is not the only metric in life. Beating oneself up endlessly can get to you too. Understanding how my brain works allows me to live a happier life.
>So don't automatically think, "omg I do that too! I need medication." Start to worry if it has a substantial negative impact on your life.
Well, of course. And medication doesn't work for everyone (does nothing for about 20% of people, IIRC, and many others don't enjoy the side effects). There are, however, many other things that do help - from lifestyle changes to body doubling.
For me, these little things had an immense impact on my well-being:
* It's OK to have 4 pairs of scissors to keep them where I use them instead of looking for them each time. Minimalism is not ADHD-friendly.
* It's also OK to have cabinets full of hobby supplies that I come back to once every few years. "If you don't use it for 3 years, throw it out" is not how ADHD works. Time is a dark matter for ADHD folks.
* I can't reliably estimate time, especially the time it takes me to do things. I can improve my estimates by asking other people to estimate time. If it's important, I should trust judgement of other people when it comes to time, even if my brain tells me that surely, it's feasible to do X things in Y time.
* I will not remember where my phone is, and it's OK. I can keep Google Home Hub, and tell it to find my phone. As long as it has power, it will ring.
* For that matter, the best phone for me is the one with immense battery life (currently, Moto G Power with its 3-day battery, but I'll gladly take a 7-day brick). Because I will forget to charge it every day, and it will be nothing more than a silicon slab when I need it the most otherwise.
* It's OK to buy a gadget/tool/thing just to perform a task, because it adds novelty. Consumerism be damned, I can give things away on Craigslist and make someone's day - or I can acquire a hobby. I bought a bullet smoker on sale last week on a whim, and now have five pounds of smoked fish in my fridge (OK, that might have been an overkill). I bought a slow cooker, a toaster oven, an air fryer, an instant pot, and a cast iron skillet to make cooking more fun - all of them get used a lot.
* It's OK to temporarily lose interest in a hobby I'm passionate for. It doesn't indicate a lack of passion of interest. It's just ADHD.
* To do a boring/tedious task, I need to do a fun thing first, and then ride that momentum to victory. "Rewarding" myself with a fun activity for completing a tedious/productive one simply doesn't work: I neither complete the task, nor get to do the "reward" activity. The ideal way is to incorporate the reward into doing: cooking, but getting to use a new implement. Coding, but only using list comprehensions instead of loops. Being on a lookout for something novel to island-hop from task to task without strain.
* I am not effective in open-floor layouts sitting next to colleagues, but very productive in a library/coworking environments. People that work on the same thing (especially if we bond over it) are a distraction, and added guilt when I'm not productive. People working alongside me add accountability without judgement, and enhance my productivity. That's called body doubling, and it works even if it's over Zoom (as long as people don't talk to each other). There are Discord study groups, and Zoom sessions at https://adhdactually.com that facilitate that.
* My storage cabinets either have transparent doors, or no doors at all (IKEA Kallax cube organizers); when using cube organizers, transparent containers are the best. It's optimal for my brain, even if it doesn't look best to some.
* I often need to stay up late, later than everyone else in the house, and it's OK. I stopped forcing myself to go to bed early when I don't feel like sleeping. The AM hours after everyone has gone to bed have a valuable peacefulness to them, where I can focus on things that I might not get to do otherwise.
* If I feel an urge to do the Boring But Necessary Thing, I act on it immediately, even if it's disrupting the plans or is at an unusual time. Cleaning at 2AM? Cooking at midnight? Mailing that package when I was planning to clean? Whatever, I need to ride that wave, because who knows when it'll come next.
And so on, and so on. ADHD lifehacks are different than neurotypical lifehacks. Just being aware that they exist helps a ton.