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I just don’t want to be busy anymore

elenasalaks.medium.com

61–70 of 463 posts

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#61
post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I’m younger than you, had the same issue and solved it by working less and doing more outside. Lifting weights in the sun, mountain biking, golf, surfing.

In understand this is a luxury not everyone can afford but what I do now is work from about 6-9am, go out during the day until about 3, work 4-6. Which if you add it up is still a solid 5 hour day.

For whatever reason it just makes me more productive and sleep better at night.

Before I did this I just felt like a slave to my computer, super tired all the time, depressed and lethargic. I had sleeping problems because I felt like I was missing out on “life” and for some reason I’d stay up late on Instagram, YouTube etc, maybe watching others live vicariously ? I felt dissatisfied.

Knowledge work pays well but IMO it can come at a pretty high cost if you don’t prioritise your life.

Edit: I read your reply on another post, I think you’re doing way too much at your job. It’s not manageable and it sounds like you’re burned out and likely failing at at least one of your duties making you feel down.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#63

I am absolutely terrified of clicking the “apply” button for a pre-offered internal transfer at my current company. I’m miserable, more miserable than I ever thought I could be, but if I step back I quickly realize that I have the job I always wanted and one that other people would kill for and have it on lock down to the point that I could put in 10 hours a week and still be heralded as a great leader. I just don’t…

If I had to guess, you work at Amazon?

Or maybe Facebook.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#65

Eddie Murphy’s joke about relationships boiling down to the other person asking ‘well what have you done for me lately’ is pretty much the gist of many careers. I’m pretty sure I shipped some impactful stuff this year, but lately, well - what have I done for the company lately? This can work in two ways. The first is you can be a victim of this and feel betrayed. The second is, you just have to realize another chance…

There’s another- I don’t think you have to feel betrayed and victimized to simply tire of that dynamic and lose interest in it.

It’s a big world and there’s more to life than making software for corporations.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#66
post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

This is going to sound really stupid, but get bloodwork done for a vitamin deficiency.

As one ages, nutrient absorption wanes. You often need more, to get the same as when younger.

So even with an unchanging diet, you may have changed.

Working out is the same, eg a 30 minute walk may require a 35 minutes, 40 minutes, for the same cardio benefit.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#67
post #33

> “No way I’m burned out. Look at all the women that are actually suffering. Who am I but a privileged white chic taking up space.” It’s sad that so many white people have been conditioned to think this way.

It’s a mental illness. Imagine somebody saying “I’m just a lowly brown person” or whatever. It’s crazy to think about.

It's not a mental illness. It's a strategically placed line to fend off a specific crowd that will call you out for complaining about something when you are in a perceived privileged position.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#68

I feel this so much, baby on the way same exact sentiments

My two cents... if your inbound baby is your first then a lot of your prior concerns will naturally disappear. If it's not your first then that won't surprise you. Time to be selfish with your time and start distancing yourself from any colleagues that are a time suck. In my humble opinion, the author is either delusional or spinning a yarn when they say they have solicited advice from colleagues. No co-worker is goi…

No co-worker is going to give you advice that doesn't serve their own interests first.

I strongly disagree. Plenty of people are self serving, but friendship and mentorship is possible in the workplace. This says a lot more about the places and people that you have worked with than something universal. Alternatively, if this is a mindset that you bring to interactions with co-workers, you might just be getting it reflected back to you.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#70
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I work for a big company (F500), and one thing that always bothers me is the out of nowhere Slack messages that are three paragraphs long, by someone I have never met within the company. If I start helping them right away, they are happy to keep me online for the next hour while my flow is gone, god knows where. I am trying to find the nicest way to say: "This should be an e-mail conversation, please send email.", bu…

Create an intake queue and direct them to that. Service it on a stated SLA that you decide. Do not respond directly to ad hoc requests (outside of perhaps company wide campaigns that you are in risk of missing).

This is all incredibly difficult in a large company.

The intake queues suck because _some_ teams respond to Service Now and some don't. Like, you'll have a pretty easy task which requires stuff from 3 teams, 1 you put in the ticket and they do it same day, the other sits there and never gets picked up, for the third you can't even figure out which team is supposed to do it let alone how you would contact them. So, the hunt begins, and this requires talking to actual humans. Sometimes there are 2 or more teams who could do your thing in different ways but none of them want to.

This is made worse by some parts of the company on webex, some on slack, some only available on teams, some teams responsive to email and others not really etc.

The only thing that makes the whole engine work is an informal network of people that trust each other who glue the whole thing together behind the scenes.

The OP's problem is that large company communication is universally dysfunctional and the "glue" network between them and the people who need things from them is not strong enough. It helps to have a strong informal networker in the reporting chain. This is usually some kind of team lead and everyone accepts that their productivity will be destroyed because "everyone knows who they are" and contacts them out of the blue with their wacky requests. They should then prioritise and route appropriately.

If leaders are not amenable or functional in this way they get routed around and "person you contact to get things done" increasingly diverges from formal leadership.

IMHO, a keen eye for how the organisation actually functions, careful relationship management and knowing which levers and channels to use to get things done are the skills of a 10x person in enterprise.

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