I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#1

Post by PretzelFisch » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:02 PM UTC

I just don’t want to be busy anymore
elenasalaks.medium.com

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#2

Post by gregd » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:27 PM UTC

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent.

This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM).

I'm not sure what to do about it, if anything. If I could retire now, I would.

I'm trying very hard to get my earnestness about learning new things back and I'm finding that my motivation has just tanked.

I'm afraid this is a permanent state now.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#3

Post by RobRivera » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:31 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Have you ever taken a sabbatical?

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#4

Post by paulcole » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:34 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Just curious, but what’s your definition of “growth mindset”?

I love being challenged, believe I can change to meet most challenges I face, and enjoy looking for opportunities to improve myself. This is how I’d understood the concept of “growth mindset” from Carole Dweck’s book Mindset.

Maybe the difference for me is that none of these things are core components of my identity? It’s just a way of interacting with the world that I find interesting vs. something I feel compelled to go all-gas-no-brakes on all the time.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#5

Post by MattGaiser » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:37 PM UTC

One of the things which quickly overwhelms me is just all the little stuff.

Couple big ticket items? No problem. Long list of 5-20 minute items, or even worse, conversations of indefinite length? Exhausting.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#6

Post by bumby » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:38 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I never really made the connection before listening to a recent podcast with an expert on serotonin and dopamine, but do you think this is a natural effect of declining dopamine? Online searching seems to indicate dopamine declines with age and is also responsible for taking risks and motivation for both short and long term goal attainment

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#7

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:39 PM UTC

[deleted]

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#8

Post by mettamage » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:39 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Typed on my phone.

Six hours of work? Lie the other 2 and call it a day.

Or, renegotiate a contract for 6 hours per day.

Given how much productivity I presume you bring, I’d lie.

I don’t feel bad about it since companies care too little (in general). If they care, then I would care. E.g. a 10x more productive engineer doesn’t get 10x the pay. I met one of these people, they lied. They worked 2 hours, shipped one hour of code in production, saved the other one to commit on a rainy day and still got employee of the year because they were by far the most productive.

You could also become a freelancer, then you don’t have to lie.

My point is: six hours of productive work should be enough.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#9

Post by tenaciousDaniel » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:43 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I feel that way now but I'm only 37. I knew it was a bit soon so I went to a doctor, and turns out my testosterone is at 250 (whereas at my age it should be over 1,000).

No idea if that's something you've already explored, but felt it couldn't hurt to share.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#10

Post by dangle1 » Sun, Sep 26, 2021, 10:44 PM UTC

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

It's so hard to reply without coming off as presumptuous and ignorant of your situation, so I apologize in advance. These kinds of feelings can of course be a sign of burnout that can get better with the suggestions in the article plus some significant time off that doesn't come with the penalty of having to make up for all the time off.

On the other hand, maybe it's time to reexamine when you can retire. There are a lot of forums about this, my wife 'rescued' me from feeling like I needed to work to normal retirement age after reading a lot of Mr. Money Mustache, FWIW.