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Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

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Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#181

Post by firebird84 »

sequoia wrote: post #149
some_random wrote: post #117

Here's another one that's a bit less obvious: anytime you're scheduling a 1x1 with a report, ALWAYS mention the reason for the meeting. You might think it's obvious or that it's just a normal meeting, but you have no idea how the other person will take it.

"Come to my office for a 1:1 at 3:30. You're getting fired." The problem with always mentioning the reason is that it then stands out when you don't. Sometimes there is something unpleasant to discuss that you can't put in a meeting invite.

When I was instructed to deliver someone's layoff paperwork I had to do this. I scheduled a meeting with the guy with no good purpose, just a meeting in a weird room nobody usually uses for meetings (we were laying off a lot of people). He immediately asked me what it was for, and of course I couldn't answer. He knew then exactly what it was about.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#182

Post by ickelbawd »

sieste wrote: post #168

I usually do the opposite. Sometimes when someone I manage asks me how things are going, I jokingly tell them I'm trying my best not to get fired. I find it helps break the ice, and shows them that other people are struggling with that same insecurities. Reading some of the comments on here I'm now concerned that such comments might also amplify a general latent fear of getting fired, so I'll probably stop doing this…

Yeah probably best to not make it about being fired—since your boss is ultimately their boss—makes them wonder when the axe might come for them next… That said I’m definitely a fan of some self-depreciating humor to help others relax and build rapport. Humor can be a wonderful tool really.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#183

Post by [deleted] »

ransom1538 wrote: post #96
simias wrote: post #6

That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…

Off topic. Do firings come out of the blue though? I was a VP for a while (not anymore) - but when the person I had to fire was about to get fired, they KNEW it as soon as the door opened. Firing someone is the worst experience ever - the only reason I had to fire someone was because WE screwed up in the interview process.

[deleted]

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#184

Post by edgriebel »

foobarian wrote: post #155
indigochill wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've seen a couple of mass layoffs. How much you see that coming can be a function of how close to the decision-making you are and how familiar you are with the process. As I've advanced, I've progressively seen it coming farther out. But the first one was totally out of the blue to me. Individual firings seem a bit more predictable.

Do you have any tips/signs to look out for :-)

When you have a one-on-one with your manager and the VP of Engineering or a HR person is there too, or when your team in another site is laid off and you hear it thru the grapevine instead of from your manager.

But for something more actionable, if your manager is constantly pressing you for "what happened with this one" when dates are slipping, or reminding you "you know, you're one of the highest paid people here..."

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#185

Post by dehrmann »

gowld wrote: post #160
MrGilbert wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

3 years ago, I had a talk with the Chief Senior Physician of the hospital my mum was treated. She was terminally ill, she was fightiing for weeks, but there was no hope left. So it was decided to end all life support measures. When I went back to my car, where my then-minor sister was waiting for news, I said: "Sie hat es geschafft.", which literally means "She made it" in German - however, I meant it in the meaning…

Covered in Arrested Development: https://arresteddevelopment.fandom.com/wiki/Dr._Fishman

He's all right.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#186

Post by WitCanStain »

ipnon wrote: post #177
tailspin2019 wrote: post #4

No one told me this prior to becoming a manager, and I did make this mistake once and immediately regretted it. It seems like obvious advice, but the circumstances where this sort of thing could happen are described very well in the article. I revert to humour in awkward situations, like a lot of people, but I quickly realised that there are some things that you can’t joke about when in this position. Thankfully I do…

You should be all business at work. It is your job after all. Work parties then become hilarious because all the humor is saved for special occasions.

Disagree. Working at a place where you are or can be genuine friends with coworkers is much more pleasant, and you can't be friends with someone if the only time you escape the sterile confines of the 'all business' relationship is at work parties.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#187

Post by BikiniPrince »

mrosett wrote: post #77
simias wrote: post #6

That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…

I once had a friend uncharacteristically not respond to a couple texts confirming plans we'd made. I eventually sent "Are you alive?" and got a call back from the hiking companion who had watched her fall to her death two days earlier. That one gives me nightmares.

I had some friends texting me after being offline for a week. I was in fact alive, but not exactly walking. I had a bit of a motorcycle accident. Now, if people don’t hear from me often enough they start calling. I spooked them a bit. Walking and cursing again after physical therapy.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#188

Post by worker767424 »

ransom1538 wrote: post #96
simias wrote: post #6

That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…

Off topic. Do firings come out of the blue though? I was a VP for a while (not anymore) - but when the person I had to fire was about to get fired, they KNEW it as soon as the door opened. Firing someone is the worst experience ever - the only reason I had to fire someone was because WE screwed up in the interview process.

It happened to me. The only signs leading up to it were asking me to use a project management tracker a few weeks before and my manager asking me a month before if I was happy working on the project I was on.

My output wasn't great, so I wasn't shocked, but I'd gotten so little feedback about it that I assumed that low output was normal. It was a small company, and they person doing HR said they had no idea it was going to happen, so I think it was a quick decision. I was pretty bitter because of that, and that I was 9 months in after taking a large pay cut, and no options vested yet.

That place went on to do random firings for a year.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#189

Post by EasyTiger_ »

simias wrote: post #6

That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…

How incredibly insensitive.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#190

Post by edgriebel »

lb1lf wrote: post #178
jameshart wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Firing someone is the worst experience ever I mean... yeah, it sucks, but have you tried being fired ?

-I've tried both, and by a wide margin the worst was firing someone. (Doubly so as I was a low-level manager in a very hierarchical organisation, so I had little to no sway on who got the boot and not - I was basically handed a list over the employees who were to be fired and told to get on with it. That was the hardest bit - I wasn't even able to tell them WHY they had been selected over others as I had no idea. The…

I get that there's a lot of anxiety involved in firing someone. But at the end of the day (lol) you still have an office to go to tomorrow, they don't.

Source: Been on the receiving end of 2 layoffs (dot-bomb and covid), it _reeeaaaallllyyyy_ sucks to be fired in a down market, like "how am I going to feed my family, how much is in the bank, and when is the mortgage/rent due" level of suckage.

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