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Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

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Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#131

Post by TristanBall »

fastball wrote: post #98
alisonkisk wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Words have meanings, and that's not what introvert means.

> Introvert: a shy, reticent person. What person with social anxiety does that not apply to? No idea why the two of you are quibbling over the use of the word introvert here.

People with social anxiety often come accross as introverted, because they are anxious about interacting - however that doesn't mean they don't want to interact, the desire might be extremely strong, exacerbated be the perceived difficulty in doing so. Compare an introvert who is not socially anxious, who simple has a lower desire to interact. Likewise, some socially anxious people cope by being more extroverted, louder, more interactive. So.. there is a difference in the internal experience, and the external presentation.. and i think when we're talking about a person, rather than their current actions, we normally mean the former but are mislead by the latter.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#132

Post by brushfoot »

LarryEt wrote: post #130
ogwh wrote: post #42

This doesn't help you maintain connections with people, it's emotional forgery and anyone caught using something like this will find their "connections" evaporate instantly. If you want to maintain connections with people put the effort in, that's the substance of the connection in the first place. If you don't, then don't. People want to feel like they matter to you, so you contacting them shows that you care about…

Better yet when your "friends" get this as well then neither of you have to waste time actually sending anything. Just move the message into a folder too so neither of you have to waste time reading the automated message.

Chatbots on both ends. Full AI conversations.

Now you can have millions of friends!

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#133

Post by tolbish »

sodality2 wrote: post #86
tolbish wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stay in touch with those that mean the most to you...by automating your interactions with them with AI! This is straight out of Silicon Valley.

>automating your interactions with them with AI It does not do this- it either notifies you to talk to them if you haven't in a while, or it automatically sends a single message to start a conversation. Note that I don't necessarily agree with this. I simply have a mental list of friends who I currently am keeping in touch with and every once in a while check up on the ones I haven't spoken to in a few days.

Do you suppose there is a "natural max" of connections one is primed to keep in touch with? That after that number, it becomes more or less a task rather than reaching out out of genuine interest.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#134

Post by brushfoot »

ogwh wrote: post #42

This doesn't help you maintain connections with people, it's emotional forgery and anyone caught using something like this will find their "connections" evaporate instantly. If you want to maintain connections with people put the effort in, that's the substance of the connection in the first place. If you don't, then don't. People want to feel like they matter to you, so you contacting them shows that you care about…

The concept is creepy and hilarious to me at the same time.

Imagine getting a "How's life?" text from your friend when they're taking a nap in the same room.

If there's nothing deceptive about this, the app should append "This message was sent by a bot" to what it sends.

Except then no one would reply, because it's clear that you're not actually invested in talking to them at that particular time, so why should they be? They can contact you when they feel like it, not when your bot believes you two should talk.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#136

Post by [deleted] »

azinman2 wrote: post #46
29athrowaway wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That too but the name is an important factor.

The more important factor is the actual execution. And the reality is this is has been done, many, many times. In fact a friend recently wrote a version of this in order to learn Swift. Ultimately it’s a social problem not a technological problem. I don’t think this is quite hitting the nail on the end. The author said part of the motivation was that his gf wanted periodic reach outs during the day. Automating this i…

[deleted]

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#137

Post by smt88 »

randomdata wrote: post #103
neckardt wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I constantly come across as a dick because a friend will message me, and I'll think about what to respond with, hesitate because I want to come up with the BEST response, then get distracted by another task, forget to text them back until the next day, etc. There are two paradigms I see people use to solve this: 1. Text back as soon as you see the message and be okay with your response not being optimal. This is wh…

> Don't open the app to read the message until you have time to respond, then commit to responding. Then you end up with unread messages for weeks at a time.

> Then you end up with unread messages for weeks at a time.

If people are a priority for you, then you need to just make time. No one is unable to spare 5 minutes to text back. You just have to sacrifice 5 minutes of something else, whether it's work, a video game, or a hobby.

If you can't spare that, then I guess accept that those people aren't that important to you.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#138

Post by lolinder »

binkHN wrote: post #34
evrydayhustling wrote: post #8

Love the simple design. $.02 - absolutely require interaction / customization before the app sends messages. Reminding people to send is service enough, and creates an interaction opportunity to refine settings. But sending automatically requires asymmetric attention between sender and recipient - which is almost always bad news for relationships, soon or over time.

Thanks! And I concur! By default, the app will not take any action and largely act as a helpful reminder, and I highly recommend this type of use!

I think the bulk of the negative reaction in this thread wouldn't have happened if it didn't have the auto-send feature at all. It would also make it easier to build an iOS version.

FWIW, I love the idea! Ignore the negativity. There's a lot of misunderstandings.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#139

Post by cgsmith »

binkHN wrote: post #2

Hello hackers. I wrote the app and I hope it can help others like me. I’m not very good at keeping in touch with friend and family. Also, my girlfriend likes little text messages here and there, and I’m not good at sending them. So “there’s an app for that,” right? No, there actually wasn’t. So I made one. I define the app as a smart device automation tool for text messages, calls and email that’ll help you stay in t…

I was hoping for more technical detail other than it uses Kotlin. It'd be nice to know some of the under the hood details.

Re: Show HN: I’m an introvert – made an app to help maintain connections with people

#140

Post by kradeelav »

cco wrote: post #126
GrinningFool wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been hearing people equate forgetting with not caring for my entire life. It took me years to realize that they - and you - just can't conceive of someone who's mind operates in a way so fundamentally different from their own. So they put their values onto us, and blame us for not living up to them. I don't blame you - that level of empathy is a hard thing to find - but damn am I tired of hearing this.

Not trying to be judgmental here, just trying to get your take. But if one of your close friends got cancer and died a few months later, would you ever get to say goodbye to them? Given the other descriptions in this thread, it seems like you wouldn't unless they or someone they were close to reached out to you to let you know. If that was the case and I was your friend and I died with zero contact from you, I would…

Not the OP, but have forgotten birthdays, and am a classic introvert.

That's a bit of an extreme take to pivot to; birthdays happen every year and if you have more than 5+ people to remember, that's a lot of days to keep in the head. Quite frankly, there's a lot of people out there (including myself) that see birthday greetings as rather meaningless - or simply not one of their love languages. (It strikes me this whole thread shows the rather diametrically different love languages of people.) Why send a card that's going to be read and tossed, realistically? I'd much rather have a meandringly long coffee chat out of the blue once every few years.

Conversely, cancer is life altering enough to the point you're far more likely to hear through the grapevine of social contacts even if it's an acquaintance, let alone a close friend. There's workplace social circles, family social circles... Then you can adjust to the level of proper severity and be on hand for food assistance, longer chats knowing time is short, and so on.

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