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Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

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Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#301

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hate to be this condescending but why is this not just ordinary laziness? Do we really need to go to a doctor so that we hear that we have a problem, and we might need medicine, to focus? Isn't it more likely that a constant stream of never ending notifications and interruptions decrease our attention span to seconds? You can't read a book because you can't read an article, and you can't read and article because yo…

ADHD is a very well studied medical phenomenon, which results from physical differences from the brain. When it does apply, getting the right kind of help can be life changing. And even if it is "ordinary laziness", that doesn't mean that seeking confirmation of it something is ADHD or not is a bad exercise, if you can afford it. The lack of motivation also is a very good sign that the OP is heavily disconnected from…

Very well said.

Consider how people like to say they have OCD because they think it’s just “liking to be clean”. Most people like things to be clean, right? So anyone could be diagnosed with OCD on a bad day, couldn’t they? No, because OCD is caused by underlying physical problems with the brain that cause very specific symptoms that interfere greatly with your life. When you see a person who is actually diagnosed with OCD, it becomes really clear that none of these other jokers have it.

The problem with ADHD is that instead of hand washing or checking doors or other very unusual rituals, it mostly just looks like laziness to a casual observer.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hmm. Could that be why I fail to be a completionist in games? I play computer games, but don't give a rip about achievements or multiple playthroughs... They are fun, but as soon as I beat it, I move on.

You're joking right? You move on from a fun activity when it stops being fun you so think you may have a disorder ? I don't want to seem insensitive to genuinely troubled individuals but there seems to be a pattern on HN where every single topic about productivity is now swamped with people claiming that "ADHD" is the cause of not caring about things that aren't worth caring about and not trying hard when you don't n…

I mean, ADHD awareness has gone up a ton in the past year. I definitely agree that "isn't a video game completionist" is hardly a reason, on it's own, to question if one has ADHD, but it could very well be one part of a puzzle if someone has other patterns that line up.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#303
post #286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Checking in for accountability like this is a really REALLY common ADHD coping skill.

there's a site called focusmate that helps you find accountability buddies ( https://focusmate.com ). it's really helped me.

Do you use this primarily for professional life, personal tasks, general motivation? (Tried to word this non-exhaustive/non-xor but saying so explicitly in case that didn’t come across.)

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Checking in for accountability like this is a really REALLY common ADHD coping skill.

The common term for it I've seen online is Body Doubling, though that might be a more specific variation.

I had never heard this term, now I have more learning to do! Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem with ADHD is that it applies to everything in your life, not just work. You're equally unable to do chores, hobbies, have fun, or even finish watching a TV series. Actually, they're even harder to do than work because there's no pressure on you to keep up with it.

I hate to be this condescending but why is this not just ordinary laziness? Do we really need to go to a doctor so that we hear that we have a problem, and we might need medicine, to focus? Isn't it more likely that a constant stream of never ending notifications and interruptions decrease our attention span to seconds? You can't read a book because you can't read an article, and you can't read and article because yo…

I don't mind this take. I'm lazy as hell. I can't make myself care about doing things enough to do them. I would love to magically change that, but no luck so far. Meds help but they don't help enough that I remember to take them or get them refilled. Behavioral interventions have been shown to help, i.e. get off the damn screen and meditate, get outside.

It's not that I can't read a book, I just forget that I wanted to read it. Then by the time I remember I already have my phone out and hn pulled up. Call it laziness, call it ADHD. I don't care, and I don't expect sympathy just like someone who can't do calculus doesn't need sympathy. Some things just seem harder for me than they are for some people.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ADHD is a very well studied medical phenomenon, which results from physical differences from the brain. When it does apply, getting the right kind of help can be life changing. And even if it is "ordinary laziness", that doesn't mean that seeking confirmation of it something is ADHD or not is a bad exercise, if you can afford it. The lack of motivation also is a very good sign that the OP is heavily disconnected from…

Very well said. Consider how people like to say they have OCD because they think it’s just “liking to be clean”. Most people like things to be clean, right? So anyone could be diagnosed with OCD on a bad day, couldn’t they? No, because OCD is caused by underlying physical problems with the brain that cause very specific symptoms that interfere greatly with your life. When you see a person who is actually diagnosed wi…

> No, because OCD is caused by underlying physical problems with the brain that cause very specific symptoms that interfere greatly with your life.

OCD is merely a label for a cluster of symptoms. It says nothing about the cause. The same can be said for the majority of psychiatric diagnoses afaik.

E.g. “Doctors aren’t sure why some people have OCD.” - https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/obsessive-compulsive-dis...

E.g. 2: OCD can be a symptom of a strep infection and nothing to do with brain chemistry. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/pandas/

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#307
post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That helps a lot. I know I'm 100% able to do the thing, I'm just a lazy bastard some days

People with ADHD have a hard time starting and then completing even things they do want to do. Everyone with ADHD has a dozen unfinished recent projects they adore, but will probably never finish. Hyperfocus gets them started, and they go REALLY far with the project, and then it wears out, and the project is neglected thereafter. Even if the person still adores the project and hopes to finish it. Without the hyperfoc…

This also sounds like the 80/20 rule and/or procrastination. 80% of the thing takes 20 % of the time, and then a feeling of diminishing returns blocks us from doing the other 80% of the effort.

> the project is neglected thereafter. Even if the person still adores the project and hopes to finish it.

I am also curious why this is labeled ADHD. To me this seems to just be “the human condition”.

I guess from what I’ve read in this thread, using the term “ADHD” seems to allow people the ability to forgive themselves for the very human condition of procrastination and/or “not achieving perfect completion”.

For anyone reading this, you can also choose to forgive yourself for not being perfect without the professional diagnosis. At least I definitely do.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#308
post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same. I automate it, though, wherever possible, and still managed to forget to pay my most recent property taxes, heh

I live and die by Reminders.app and yet I still have 20 unaddressed reminders at any given time :(

I set the important reminders for 2pm. Something about 2pm is just right. It doesn't always work, but it works often enough that I "hey Siri, remind me to [x] at 2pm on [day]" when it matters. I usually end up doing it earlier because I know 2pm is coming.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#309
post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I live and die by Reminders.app and yet I still have 20 unaddressed reminders at any given time :(

I set the important reminders for 2pm. Something about 2pm is just right. It doesn't always work, but it works often enough that I "hey Siri, remind me to [x] at 2pm on [day]" when it matters. I usually end up doing it earlier because I know 2pm is coming.

I set my important ones for 1030am or 1pm!

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#310
post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who highly suspects they may have ADHD, how was the diagnosis life changing? Was it through medication, or simply through understanding yourself better?

Both; but honestly, the latter was more important. Simply having a name for the reasons why, no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much I really, genuinely, truly wanted to, there were certain things I just couldn't do... that alone was extremely relieving. And infuriating. And vindicating. But mostly, genuinely relieving. I was able to accept that I wasn't an incompetent fool, incapable of being useful - I ha…

Very well put. I was diagnosed as an adult. While I was waiting for my results, at one point my wife said, "wait, do you want to have ADHD?". And yes, I wasn't really able to articulate why I was hoping for a positive result, but that's just it: putting a name to it as a way of forgiving myself for not "living up to my potential".
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