Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Kids need freedom, too

persuasion.community

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

341–350 of 391 posts

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#341

Post by mschuster91 »

Many attribute the change in attitude to media scare. And while this undoubtedly has a large part, I think there's something different at play: the trend to have only one child.

When you have three, four, five kids it's not as much a problem if one or two get seriously, long-term damaged hurt as a result of some childhood accident, somewhere on the LGBT spectrum, infertile, in physically exhausting manual labor jobs or in war as there are still other children to keep the family line alive.

With only one child, the pressure on that one child to turn out "perfect" is much, much more immense - and parents will naturally helicopter around to ensure that their one and only offspring achieves the best they can, whatever the cost.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#342

Post by nikolay »

potions wrote: post #253
nikolay wrote: post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have to agree - maybe outside of dogs, all other pets are not happy. For example, how can "fixing" cats be acceptable?! Just because we don't want to allow cats to mate and inconvenience ourselves, we "fix" them and everybody seems okay with it! How is this not animal cruelty by the book?! Cats grow obese and feel miserable. I've had cats, I let them go in and out, they lived fruitful lives and were not forced to c…

why is this different for dogs? I have been bothered at times at just how outside the overton window the idea that animals/pets, dog or cats should be able to e.g. see their parents or children, ever again, falls. I'm not a vegan or a big animal person, but it just isn't talked about.

Well, you're right. Dogs are emotional, and get attached to people and happy, but it's only because they don't realize how miserable they actually are and simply don't know any better. I personally like dog breeds closest to wolves like the German Shepherd. And I pity some of the breeds resulting from ages of selective breeding, which don't even resemble dogs.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#343

Post by krrrh »

rmah wrote: post #204
CalRobert wrote: post #154

It's great to allow your kids to take risks, and we do this with our own as much as we can (they're 1 and 3, so "within reason" is still doing some heavy lifting. I pick ticks off of them now and then and patch up their share of bruises). But fundamentally, what I want most is to be somewhere my kids can ride bikes or walk alone to school, to friends, to the shop, etc. from the age of 7 or so. As best I can tell that…

In NYC, over a million kids of all ages walk, skateboard, bike, kick-scooter, or take the bus and subway to school every day. Little kids as young as 10 take the subway alone to/from school. Well, really they travel in packs, but still. Even in the dangerous Big Apple, the number of serious accidents or criminal incidents while going to/from school is just a handful a year. When I was young and growing up in the burb…

The author of the linked piece, Lenore Skenazy, is famous for becaming known as the worst mother in America when she wrote about letting her 9 year old ride the subway alone in her column for the New York Sun. I’ve never seen that in NY, though old Sesame Street cartoons made it seem pretty common prior to the nineties.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#344

Post by CalRobert »

wheels wrote: post #273
CalRobert wrote: post #154

It's great to allow your kids to take risks, and we do this with our own as much as we can (they're 1 and 3, so "within reason" is still doing some heavy lifting. I pick ticks off of them now and then and patch up their share of bruises). But fundamentally, what I want most is to be somewhere my kids can ride bikes or walk alone to school, to friends, to the shop, etc. from the age of 7 or so. As best I can tell that…

> the Netherlands, parts of Denmark, or perhaps Japan I think it's far more common than that -- actually, guessing wildly, I suspect most children around the world get themselves to school and that the US is the outlier. In Germany, where I live, and where my oldest will be starting school in two months, it's common and encouraged for kids to walk to school in their first year (age 6). Admittedly, ours is only a quar…

Germany is on our shortlist too, though the cycling infra seems poor compared to NL/DK/Nordics. Would love for the kids to learn German (and ourselves!)

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#345

Post by CalRobert »

Loic wrote: post #313
CalRobert wrote: post #154

It's great to allow your kids to take risks, and we do this with our own as much as we can (they're 1 and 3, so "within reason" is still doing some heavy lifting. I pick ticks off of them now and then and patch up their share of bruises). But fundamentally, what I want most is to be somewhere my kids can ride bikes or walk alone to school, to friends, to the shop, etc. from the age of 7 or so. As best I can tell that…

> the Netherlands, parts of Denmark, or perhaps Japan (more for transit than cycling). From my small experience living in France, Germany, Denmark and spending quite some times in other old [0] EU countries, you can do it everywhere there. From Portugal up to Finland and everything in-between. This is the normal way here. [0]: Not to be taken negatively, just that I did not had the opportunity to visit/stay in the EU…

We hoped that this would be our experience moving to the EU (Ireland) but due to housing issues we wound up in a field in the countryside. They DO get free reign of the field and the lovely walking trail, but the road is full of high speed drivers with nothing but a dense, tall hedgerow to jump in to. Ireland copied all the mistakes of America with regards to urban design, too.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#346

Post by CalRobert »

widforss wrote: post #327
widforss wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm Swedish, but lived in New Orleans for 6 months in 2001, when I was 5 years old. I used to walk to kindergarten together with my siblings, 3 and 5 years older. Was that another time, or was that too much freedom for the US to handle even then?

I digress, but the reason we lived there for exactly 6 months (on the day) was that we would be ineligible for Swedish child allowance after that.

Interesting that now you can have the same argument but in reverse, with the US introducing child benefit.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#347

Post by disgruntledphd2 »

CalRobert wrote: post #345
Loic wrote: post #313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> the Netherlands, parts of Denmark, or perhaps Japan (more for transit than cycling). From my small experience living in France, Germany, Denmark and spending quite some times in other old [0] EU countries, you can do it everywhere there. From Portugal up to Finland and everything in-between. This is the normal way here. [0]: Not to be taken negatively, just that I did not had the opportunity to visit/stay in the EU…

We hoped that this would be our experience moving to the EU (Ireland) but due to housing issues we wound up in a field in the countryside. They DO get free reign of the field and the lovely walking trail, but the road is full of high speed drivers with nothing but a dense, tall hedgerow to jump in to. Ireland copied all the mistakes of America with regards to urban design, too.

Yeah, the Irish countryside is beautiful, but not walkable.

Both my wife and I grew up there, hence why we prioritized getting a walkable place in the suburbs.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#348

Post by oblio »

colinmhayes wrote: post #226
oblio wrote: post #213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not sure I understand this, why would walkable places be expensive? Walkable places are generally high density which means that buildings are bigger and homes are smaller so prices should be lower.

For the same reason walkable places that currently exist are expensive. People want to live there.

Yeah, they want to live there but they don't want others to live there.

Otherwise you can just build taller.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#349

Post by edem »

CalRobert wrote: post #154

It's great to allow your kids to take risks, and we do this with our own as much as we can (they're 1 and 3, so "within reason" is still doing some heavy lifting. I pick ticks off of them now and then and patch up their share of bruises). But fundamentally, what I want most is to be somewhere my kids can ride bikes or walk alone to school, to friends, to the shop, etc. from the age of 7 or so. As best I can tell that…

When I was a kid I lived in the suburbs (Hungary) and I was cycling all day. It was great. I want the same for my kid and for that we had to move to the countryside because the capital (Budapest) became hell on earth in the last 10 years.

Re: Kids need freedom, too

#350

Post by watwut »

bsf_ wrote: post #167
nomel wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Kids don't go outside because there's no kids outside. I don't think it's that simple. If you let your kids outside, away from your supervision, there's a very real (absolutely certain, where I live) risk of the police getting involved.

I can confirm this - last year I had to deal with Redwood City PD because my 11 year old daughter was playing after school on the playground (which is, amazingly, not allowed in CA?!). I stood my ground, but the incident involved the police department and meetings with the principal before it was resolved. California is doing a good job of driving the liberal right out of me.

The cop was liberal?
Post reply on HN