241–250 of 265 posts
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Great. Now all I can think about is the Matrix human pods playing the pornhub theme as they close.
What'd you think the killer app for Neuralink was gonna be? Just joking, of course
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You're on the right track with that comparison but need to connect the dots. Humanity's next stage of evolution is to Oneness imo.
Isn't that the Human Instrumentality Project that Seele was after?
I view it more like: the thing that differentiates us from the other animals is our ability to create and exchange ideas quickly (latency) and thoroughly (bandwidth), and those ideas are a state of matter that seem totally dissimilar to our animal bodies. We talk about matter not being created or destroyed, so what is a new idea? What are ideas made of, and where do they exist? I don't know, but I believe my individual dense collection of ideas is my real "human" individual self if that makes any sense.
All of humanity's various -ists and -phobias, on the other hand, seem to be about protecting our animal bodies, the food they need to eat, and the spaces they want to occupy. How much racism has historically stemmed from fear of a group of people in worse financial condition than one's own, coming in willing to work for lower wages thus threatening one's own stability in jobs, housing, food, and so on? How much homophobia (especially towards men) stems from fear of a gay son threatening generational wealth that could historically only be passed to male heirs?
If humanity could collectively lose the need for all of that hate we can still have the "individual", and in fact many individuals at any level you could slice the One. The highest-bandwidth and lowest-latency links are (for now) obviously between the ideas in one's own brain, but similar densities form between people in committed relationships, between close-knit groups of friends, and so on. I just don't see any other path forward now that we humans have spread across the entire Earth and can communicate with any other person in realtime. So much land is "private" now. Where are people going to live? Depopulation should not be the answer, because that's like giving the One a lobotomy. We are all already neurons in a giant brain, like it or not, so I prefer trying to like it :)
Modern casual sexual encounters are assessed purely on subjective ratings of the opposite party's sexual attractiveness (secondary sexual characteristics, behavior, social status, etc.). Furthermore, constant saturation into the full range of these behaviors and characteristics across humanity through the internet and dating applications creates a endless "could I get a better mate?" feedback loop in the minds of bot…
I agree with you to a point. "could I get a better mate" is absolutely true when you can swipe across hundreds of profiles. Where it is not true is that attraction is a multi-dimensional process that is very poorly captured by online dating. Men in particular are disadvantaged by it. This is well studied. The false conclusion to draw is that if you fail at online dating, you will fail at real life dating. This false…
Have you seen these "conventionally unattractive" men that you describe succeed in a totally open and free dating market as young 20-somethings, or are there extenuating circumstances (early 30s, string of failed relationships, etc.). I will fully admit that you are observing something I am not observing and that my rationale must be flawed if you're witnessing 5'4" nerdy, goofy men lacking in charisma and stature experience consistent success in real life dating between 18-26. Of those I saw who did achieve some success, I've witnessed a lot of them get cheated on by their "girlfriends", but I haven't witnessed a lot of them experience free-market success and dating freedom of choice, at least not compared to the 6' high-power athletes I know.
I disagree with you on a few other counts here, but most strongly with the statement "dating will emerge naturally as you get better at making friends". That is patently false. Dating will emerge naturally as the peer-relative superior status of your reproductive and companionship potential becomes obvious. Dating is not a process by which to make friends, it is a process to determine who will have a chance at impregnating whom. "Getting better at making friends" will net you a fraction of the returns that "getting muscles that show through a t-shirt" will, all other things being considered equal.
Overall, I do agree with you that men who fail on dating apps need to try different approaches in real life, though.
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I agree with you to a point. "could I get a better mate" is absolutely true when you can swipe across hundreds of profiles. Where it is not true is that attraction is a multi-dimensional process that is very poorly captured by online dating. Men in particular are disadvantaged by it. This is well studied. The false conclusion to draw is that if you fail at online dating, you will fail at real life dating. This false…
> become the person someone else would be thrilled to meet, proud to befriend, excited to date and overjoyed to marry. The 3 most recent exes of mine all had begged me to marry them at some point in the relationship. One even offered to buy me a ring and propose. But in the last 6 years I haven't had a single relationship... The enormous contrast in outcome has me totally bewildered.
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How can you look at a system you had to constantly gamify and say that it was a positive experience?
because i understand it's not perfect, and probably never will be. so i adapted. i think all of the positive experiences that i had outweighed all of the negative. that's all there really is to it for me. it also allowed me to meet my now gf. something i've noticed from people that didn't have much luck on these apps is that they fall into two buckets. unfortunately for some, it's really tough since they might not ha…
Furthermore, the fact that you actually work for a dating app will likely make it very difficult to convince you of any of its potential secondary negative effects on what's left of society. I've had similar experiences with discussing the military-industrial complex and economic imperialism with acquaintances of mine working for defense contractors or serving in the armed forces.
Overall, we agree on this point:
>a very not insignificant distribution of the people complaining and having 0 success on the apps probably also fall into the type of person that wouldn't have much success in real life scenarios as well.
The claim I and others on this thread are making is that this subset of people would not have had such a hard time in real life before the advent of social media and dating apps.
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The answer could be that women are just choosing better men in the apps and just becoming the 13th girl in his roster.
Can we stop using verbiage like “better” men? Attractiveness isn’t a linear scale from 1-10, and it’s harmful to perpetuate that myth. It’s multi dimensional and unique to each person.
People don't have sex when they're depressed, overweight, never go outside, and play video games all day.
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I agree with you to a point. "could I get a better mate" is absolutely true when you can swipe across hundreds of profiles. Where it is not true is that attraction is a multi-dimensional process that is very poorly captured by online dating. Men in particular are disadvantaged by it. This is well studied. The false conclusion to draw is that if you fail at online dating, you will fail at real life dating. This false…
I agree with you that attraction is a multi-dimensional process which is very poorly captured by online dating. What I am trying to explain is mine and others' observations that men who don't succeed at present-day online dating , that would have succeeded at real-life dating in the past, are not succeeding today in real life. I am blaming online dating and social media for this phenomena, and attempting to use that…
If by open-and-free dating markets of 20-somethings you mean places like bars in the Marina or the party scene of Isla Vista. You are correct, to succeed there you have to be conventionally attractive. In the low light and hormone fueled club scene of Miami, even more so. Status, social proof, money...it matters.
But there are many other places to find great partners. My 5'4" friend is a musician. Girls approached him. He has done well over the years. Other successful guys I know sail, scuba-dive, rock-climb, ski, fly, hike, surf, etc. Each of these activities has its own social scene with interesting people.
My statement about dating and friends was inaccurate. I actually agree with you: dating =/= friendship. It has been been my observation that my struggling single friends didn't know how to be social. I encouraged them to befriend people and learn about themselves. An example of what I meant by "dating emerges..." my friends who sail will periodically send out open invitations to get 5-10 people together for a day of sailing. The goal is to invite fun interesting people. By being friends with social people, you get exposed to more people. People click in person. Another friend regularly rents big houses for ski weekends - again with the goal of pulling interesting people together.
Regarding muscles: agree. Fitness improves everyone's chances in everything. I encourage all of my single friends to be physically active and fit.
I read about this before I think it was on OKCupid study. The spoils go to the top. In the sexual market place, the top 20% of best/successful looking men, get most of the women on the dating apps. Leaving the hand as the best companion for the rest. Hence why Onlyfans is a billion dollar business. Pareto distribution at play again. Also I read somewhere that only about 50% of men that have lived ever reproduced. And…
> 50% of men that have lived ever reproduced. I found something similar: https://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/08/20/is-there-any... .
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It is absolutely not true that men who succeed are "tremendous specimens". Sure - some are. But the vast majority are not. It is an erroneous and harmful conclusion to decide that "tremendous specimens" are hoarding all the sex. This false conclusion prevents young men from seeing the actual reality that attraction is multi-faceted and multi-dimensional. I know any number of guys who are not tremendous specimens who…
> This false conclusion prevents young men from seeing the actual reality that attraction is multi-faceted and multi-dimensional. The thing is that nowadays the expectation is that you date using an app, and the apps are absolutely 100% one dimensional single-faceted gamified systems. Ideally the solution is to stop using apps, but the problem people run into there is that they don't really know how to interact any o…
Do things. Organize activities. Invite friends. Encourage them to invite friends.
Learn to be social. Learn to make friends. Be fit. Be active. Be interested in other people and become interesting yourself. It all seems kinda cliche. But it works.