I no longer build software

> Every paying software job I've ever had was in some way involved getting people to click on ads.

That's an amazing fact.

May I ask how old you are?

I've been designing SOCs, DSPs, Control Systems and a lot of software for various systems since 1985, and I can only recall one that might have been close to "clicking on ads" (it was a personalized "on hold" system for dial-in to major retailers (like JCP), to replace Muzak with offers and information and stuff). I was the VOIP-to-Enterprise-Telecom integration guy, so not directly tied to the ad-part, but the company pushed couponing to their clients pretty hard.

You sound super burnt out and taking a (possibly permanent) break sounds like just what you need. On the other hand I, at 50, am looking forward to another 25 years of programming with any luck. I think almost everything has improved since I first started with much improved processes (no more waterfall), new and interesting programming languages (with jobs using them), free software becoming firmly established, much better tooling, more interesting work (cloud and distributed systems have added much fun, including improving those distributed systems), enlightened views on testing and documentation being very important (I remember when simple unit tests were frowned upon as wasted time), nearly everything in the software process is automatable (CI, CD are great), etc.

I obviously am at a different place than you but I don't think everyone who enjoys the work has Stockholm Syndrome and needs to be pitied. Some of us honestly enjoy it and I plan on working as long as possible as I really like the external supply of ideas to create.

Though had my carrier taken a different path than it did I can easily see being as burnt out as you. I worked briefly at a large enterprise company (not software makers, think greek sneakers) which was so terrible.. if that sort of job was my only option I wouldn't have lasted a decade in this business. That place was seriously depressing.

I do mobile app development and I love it. At work I do that and a little bit of backend and web frontend development and I just don't enjoy those as much. There's more overhead in getting things done there, whereas with iOS development, you have a more constrained space where there's generally just one way to do things, so you spend more time thinking about the problem you are solving vs. dealing with technology issues. Yes, there are still things you have to figure out on iOS that don't have the greatest documentation, but I find it's much more straightforward than the other spaces I mentioned.

If I could write whatever I wanted to on whatever platform, I'd do what I'm doing now as a side project: a flash card app on iOS and macOS. [1] I'm finding it lets me deal with the entire "stack" of interesting product problems: technology, user experience design, solving a real user problem, and even marketing. I'm not treating it as a serious job, so it is mostly fun to work on, although I am getting close to releasing it, so it can be a slog. (This reminds me of what I read about the author of Stardew Valley and how after working on his game for several years, he did find it difficult to keep working on it, which is a problem you really can't get away from.)

[1] See https://www.ussherpress.com/blog/ for some posts about it if you are curious

> to actually meet friends and not in VR space...

This comment is being made in the middle of a pandemic. Does anyone believe that video chat hasn't made modern life better? You have a plan to do remote learning with 1990's technology? Talk to my parents about that, or anyone who has children that live more than an hour or two away. Talk to anyone who's wheelchair bound or who lives in a rural community.

> I'll give you "self driving cars" -- well, I would if they could work today, which they don't...

Fully autonomous cars don't work now, but the extra warning systems, backup cameras, lane shift systems, etc... are saving lives every single day. I like that my car helps me monitor my blind spot when I put my turn signal on. And if anybody ever figures out how to get self driving cars to actually work, they will save a massive number of lives in the process.

> I can land in a completely foreign city and get step by step directions to wherever I need to go.

This was such a common problem that there were entire movies based on people getting lost in tourist destinations and road trips. I grew up reading paper maps inside a car. Nobody would ever want to go back to that. I can think of at least one instance over the past couple of years where having a cell phone with almost universal reception potentially saved my life.

> ...

Netflix didn't exist until 1997, Youtube didn't exist until 2005. Imagine wanting to replace a laptop keyboard, or change an obscure car part, and not being able to find a video that explained how to do it. Ask my parents whether or not they like being able to find videos demonstrating new crochet patterns or woodworking techniques. Ask my parents whether or not they'd prefer to go back to a time when they couldn't realistically pick up any new hobbies or interests unless there was a local community that already existed in our rural town to teach them.

The parent comment here is inscrutable to me, how can anyone be this nostalgic for the early 90s? I grew up in the 90s, it wasn't good. We wanted better technology. There are a lot of problems to solve with modern technology, and a few regressions to address as well, but talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater...