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Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

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Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#141

Post by R0b0t1 »

Kalium wrote: post #28
asciident wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In this scenario, is there a way to handle the promotions such that no one is upset? I can't think of one. Maybe put them on different tracks -- those who took "parental flexibility" can get promoted, but it occurs later, and the money saved from that deferred promotion gets given to the singles who put in extra time/effort? Not sure, just brainstorming.

Now you're in what is probably textbook discrimination territory.

Caregivers are not covered under federal law, but apparently they are under some state and city law.

But how far do you take this? Is not getting a promotion penalization if your coworkers are more likely to be able to participate in work that garners praise?

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#142

Post by extrawork99 »

ngngngng wrote: post #128
tbatchelli wrote: post #57

How much of this issue is related to having a part of the population think that people having children is solely a private question? "You had children, why should I bear your burden!" If none of us had children there would d be no economy to support anyone's life in, let's say, 40 years from now. People making and raising new sane and healthy people should be considered a social and common good, for the sake of all,…

Yep. If you want to see something scary, go browse reddit.com/r/childfree It's an entire community of people that feel like heroes for not having children, and despise the thought of even having to come into contact with a child. It carries a similar religious fervor to veganism but it doesn't actually help anyone or anything.

Lol. Found the person that can only identify as a breeder.

Not having children is the most impactful thing you can do environmentally.

Also: Veganism literally doesn’t actually help anything at all.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#143

Post by radicalbyte »

pyronik19 wrote: post #9
rblatz wrote: post #2

A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them. Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here “The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if…

There is a team of 4 people. 2 have families, 2 don't. The ones that don't picked up the slack for the ones that did. Work quality was equal, but output was greater for the singles. The team has 2 slots for promotion. Do you ignore the fact that the single people put in more work or do you factor it in in the promotion decision?

I've been in both groups at different times. Before kids you can throw time at a problem, it's great. After kids you have to get smart.

A parent brings different things to the table than a non-parent. Especially for managers, being a parent is like being thrown in the deep end of an intensive empathy building program and that experience makes good managers.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#144

Post by jansan »

loosescrews wrote: post #122
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

At least in the US, the pandemic has changed everyone's life created stress for everyone. These policies seem to indicate that non-parents don't have an additional burden worth recognizing. It is easy to see it this way too as most of the managers and executives at big tech companies are parents. For young non-parent tech workers, this may be the first time that they have to figure out how to feed themselves during t…

Is this a joke? My 12 year old son would be able to cook for himself if it was required. Of course the kitchen would be a total mess. With instructions like the video below everybody can learn how to cook within a few days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw_Ze9zIafM

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#146

Post by aaomidi »

marbletiles wrote: post #65
ll931110 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is, people without children are told (or required) to pick up the workload left behind when the coworkers having children taking (multiple) weeks off. For once or twice that might be okay, but if became a chronic problem, no wonder they are not happy.

Yes, they should be unhappy about that: at their managers. Not at their colleagues attempting to care for children during a pandemic. I've heard a related thing about US workers resenting colleagues for taking paid time off for similar reasons, and it's just as weird to my European eyes. The difference a decent labour movement (or the legacy of one) can make to industrial relations is stark

> Yes, they should be unhappy about that: at their managers. Not at their colleagues attempting to care for children during a pandemic.

Why are you assuming it's not that?

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#147

Post by ng12 »

mc32 wrote: post #45
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I agree. Parents are making sacrifices which benefit society as a whole. Those children the parents are taking care of now will be the ones who will provide for the one complaining now via taxes as well as services rendered to them. If anything, companies should be providing more childcare so that more women (as well as some men) will have less of a burden balancing career and caregiving. I see these people as being…

What I've seen is the complaints are largely coming from couples that want to raise kids while both parents work full time jobs. Asking for fewer hours so you can continue that lifestyle is asking your employer and fellow employees to subsidize your second income, not your ability to have and raise children. My coworkers with SAH spouses aren't feeling the burn anywhere near as badly -- it's just an extended summer for them.

I feel a lot of empathy for single parents but those seem to be relatively rare in the field.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#148

Post by WarOnPrivacy »

wayneftw wrote: post #126
MaximumYComb wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So has the cost of caring for old people but they don't complain about that.

Do public taxes pay for my care when I’m old? I thought we just got Social Security which is a fixed rate.

Medicare is one of our largest, non-discretionary outlays.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#149

Post by gones00n »

pyronik19 wrote: post #9
rblatz wrote: post #2

A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them. Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here “The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if…

There is a team of 4 people. 2 have families, 2 don't. The ones that don't picked up the slack for the ones that did. Work quality was equal, but output was greater for the singles. The team has 2 slots for promotion. Do you ignore the fact that the single people put in more work or do you factor it in in the promotion decision?

The former. You promote objectively rather than subjectively.

Parents may just need to adjust their own expectations/career trajectories and consider 2020 a "lost year" of sorts. There's always 2021 and beyond to make up for lost time once things are back to normal. Competing against those without families feels like an unwinnable war.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#150

Post by luckylion »

jacquesm wrote: post #15
codemac wrote: post #5

Personally, I struggle with these feelings as well. It seems nuts that someone working 50%+ less than someone else is going to keep all the same equity, vacation, and salary. Then again it seems nuts that they don't. All employees who had children or family members to care for before or after COVID get none of the same support. I don't think backpay is coming for those who were forced to take leave or even quit their…

They are working as much or more. Just not on the same things. It's not as if being a parent somehow translates into more free time, in fact it translates into substantially less free time if any at all.

> They are working as much or more. Just not on the same things.

The same can be said about anyone with a hobby though. They are working as much or more. Just not on the same things.

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