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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#551
post #480
post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is that small numbers of market participants can affect the market for the majority. A small number of fraudsters on Craigslist, for example, make everyone skeptical of it. And a small number of people plying the sexual marketplace can flood the market for what was previously a scarce resource, making people unwilling to do something as momentous as committing to spending one’s life with someone mainly in…

If you’re committing yourself to spending your life with someone mainly in order to have sex then boy are you in for some trouble.

That’s what motivated a lot of marriages 50 years ago, and why people got married so young. It is still what motivates a ton of marriages in many countries.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#552
post #286

I surprised how the article or any of the comments did not address pornography. Having been given up on it years from now, so I can talk out of experience. The number and clarity of with which women kept and keep on signifying to me to have sex with them, or just they interested in me, are just crazy. Usually when I start a friendly chat, it takes 2 minutes without me trying anything to make them come closer to me an…

Please search for nopoo. It's like nofap but you don't take a shit more than once every three days. Your body expends a lot of energy with excretion. If you train your body to conserve this energy it becomes easier to concentrate and you exude attractive pheromones.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#553

A lot of guys are complaining in the thread, with undertones of an expectation of sex Most likely reason I see that would cause this data: the immense social pressure applied to straight women has lessened in the 21st century. A straight woman won't be ostricized at 25 if they don't "have a man." The data suggests that young straight men aren't having as much sex. I postulate that the only reason is that straight men…

>A lot of guys are complaining in the thread, with undertones of an expectation of sex

I don't see the undertones. Copied from another comment:

It's so interesting how whenever any man talks about romantic problems he is met with this feminist mantra "you aren't owed sex". Do you honestly think that's what we're talking about? If someone talked about how much it sucks that they don't have car and need to walk to work would you tell them "you aren't owed a car"?

I think people regurgitate this phrase because we can't ever acknowledge that sexual empowerment results in peoples needs not being met. It must be their fault, they must be sabotaging somehow. They must be sexists.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#554

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some citations for your thesis below. To your last point, IMHO, you're going to continue to see a decline in the total fertility rate (US is roughly ~1.77 this year, lowest on record) as women shift from casual seeking in their 20s to relationship/nesting in their 30s and find the market for partners to be much smaller than they would've anticipated, while also nearing the end of natural fertility (fertility rates st…

Maybe tinder isn't reality and many in fact most people meet each other outside of tinder. 78% of women aren't actually chasing the top 20% of men and are in fact available to meet outside of hook ups on tinder. Reducing women to vaginas on legs that can't be obtained outside of tinder is a big part of why 1/3 not 80% of men aren't getting much play. For other contributing factors I would look at generational differe…

Tinder is definitely real and used by the majority of young people living in big cities. I am in my late twenties and all my friends, male and female, used it at some point or another.

Whether people use it to find relationships is a different question. I did not use it for that, but some of my friends did... (or tried...)

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#555

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I enter my thirties, this dynamic has started to shift dramatically. All the women I know who haven't settled down by their early 30s are having crises about their inability to find a compatible mate, just as their physical attractiveness is declining precipitously[1]. As the priority shifts from sex/light companionship to deeper relationships, women's position in the modern dating market goes from very good to ve…

I'm not following you here.. Why would the attractive 25 year olds date 30 year old average men when they can have sex with top men? Your average 30yo men having access to women near his own age makes sense but not for younger women, since they seek the top 10% at that age.

> Why would the attractive 25 year olds date 30 year old average men when they can have sex with top men?

They wrote a song about it.

   City girls just seem to find out early
   How to open doors with just a smile
   A rich old man

   And she won't have to worry
   She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
   Late at night a big old house gets lonely
   I guess every form of refuge has its price
   And it breaks her heart to think her love is
   Only given to a man with hands as cold as ice
   So she tells him she must go out for the evening
   To comfort an old friend who's feeling down
   But he knows where she's going as she's leaving
   She is headed for the cheating side of town

   You can't hide your lying eyes
   And your smile is a thin disguise
   I thought by now you'd realize
   There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes

   On the other side of town a boy is waiting
   With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
   She drives on through the night anticipating
   Because he makes her feel the way she used to feel
   She rushes to his arms
   They fall together
   She whispers that it's only for awhile
   She swears that soon she'll be coming back forever
   She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

   You can't hide your lying eyes
   And your smile is a thin disguise
   I thought by now you'd realize
   There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes

   She gets up and pours herself a strong one
   And stares out at the stars up in the sky
   Another night, it's gonna be a long one
   She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry
   She wonders how it ever got this crazy
   She thinks about a boy she knew in school
   Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
   She's so far gone she feels just like a fool
   My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
   You set it up so well, so carefully
   Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things
   You're still the same old girl you used to be

   You can't hide your lying eyes
   And your smile is a thin disguise
   I thought by now you'd realize
   There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes
   There ain't no way to hide your lying eyes
   Honey, you can't hide your lying eyes

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#556
post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I just want to point out how so many of the responses to this thread (and the thread itself) are much more a lament of "others are doing X and I am not" - and jumping to conclusions as to why that might be. I also want to add that so much going on here is based on really thin anecdata about how other people are fucking on tinder and you aren't. I don't see many people here talking about how they engaged in intentiona…

So you're basically ignoring all the data and studies regarding this issue and still decide to handwave the whole thread. We're talking about the impact of large percent of men not having sex on society and you're response to this is:

"Stupid, ugly people fuck al the time" and imply this is a non issue

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#557

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of those top 10% men are going polyamorous, and so you have an uptick in complaints from women about finding a monogamous guy. I've seen it on Tinder and Reddit. The thing is, the vast majority of men are still monogamous. They're just ignored and unacknowledged by most women.

> complaints from women about finding a monogamous guy Yea, it's a bizarre dynamic: women who are looking for lots of casual sex are fine, but the women I know who are looking for deeper relationships are continually frustrated. It seems pretty stupid on its face, but female attraction is really complicated, and if the women in my friend group are any indication, they don't quite understand how it works either[1]. Es…

> Especially once they reach their thirties and get hit with the double whammy of declining attractiveness and a higher desire for deeper relationships.

You mean their biological clock is ticking to get kids?

> female attraction is really complicated

They indeed look for more aspects than men. But I think it can best be summed up as:

1. successful man 2. man sweet enough to take care of the family 3. man hard enough to protect the family from the outside world

I think there is still confusion about these points: successful does not equal rich. A born-rich loser will have a harder time than a hard working entrepreneur that might hit jackpot some day.

And they are not looking for jerks. They are looking for jerks to the outside world, and sweet to them. Basically a man who can and will protect them and their family.

But of course, I think we can all agree that women are more complex than this ;).

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#558
post #431

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You comically underestimate how hard those things are for many men, especially those that are economically disadvantaged. I don't agree with many of the takes in these comments, but your simplification to "just work harder" isn't any better.

Economics doesn't have anything to do with these. - Eat Right - actually cheaper than eating unhealthy - Exercise Often - possible to do free - Groom regularly - very cheap, the cost of a haircut every couple of months - Develop a personality - free - Cultivate relationships - free

Once again your ability to absurdly oversimplify things is truly astounding.

The reason why one's economic situation is relevant (and it's relevant to essentially everything), is because it becomes a source of many other biological and social pressures that might prevent someone from spending time, for example, "[developing] a personality" (whatever that means).

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#559
post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I'm seeing a trend in the replies here of the parent that might show an implicit bias towards a particular feeling of powerlessness in getting sex + companionship. If this is you, then know the following: in most cases, one is able to get an abundance of intimacy [1]. I know this because this was one of my life goals in my mid teens to early twenties. It was my first big achievement in life, for me anyway, I worked h…

> My target group of women almost never praise me for my physical features but my personality instead.

Women do this in general because mentioning physical attractiveness among women is taboo. This is why a personality-focused, zero pictures version of Tinder would utterly fail. Do you think women would leap to such an app, finally being able to judge people by their wit and conversation skills and empathy? Of course not. They want photos.

> Judge for youerself: I'm tall, super skinny (most often the skinniest), have a very atypical face, so yea not in the top 1%.

Height gives an enormous advantage. The rest I can't comment on, but I suspect you're underselling yourself. If you're white and have a conventional appearance (even if not chiseled or model like), you're much more acceptable to a woman (and her friends, and her family) than a 5'6" Indian guy.

What I've noticed is that any guy can fall to rock bottom, but not every guy can float to the top. There's a lot of privilege to go around. When people try to take credit for everything in their life, whether it's business/dating/athleticism or whatever, it's just trying to deny privilege and ascribe some fairness to a world that we all know is not. I know I'm privileged in some ways that hot guys are not. I mean Tucker Max is in therapy today.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#560

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a large amount of debate over this issue. Whatever your opinion may be, the study doesn't seem to agree with it: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle... Look at the chart for number of sexual partners reported by men and women by year. Honestly just read the study. It has data on many of the issues people are speculating about, including porn and what not. If you were to believe that a…

This is exactly what you would expect if the OP's hypothesis is correct. 3 partners really isn't that many. The study should have looked at something like 0, 1-5, 5-19, 20-99, 100+ or something like that. It is not capturing the top end at all.

This is only true if you believe the people who used to be getting 3+ are now getting 0. This is unlikely to be the case because we don't see the number of people with exactly 2 partners going down.
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