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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#541

Post by cybwraith »

ttcbj wrote: post #403
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I think the first paragraph of the parent may be correct, but I think the second paragraph is inaccurate and unnecessarily discouraging to young men who may be reading this. Here is my experience as a happily married man: 1. Throughout my 20s and early thirties I was very, very unsuccessful with dating. I was shy, and lacked self-confidence. At age 32 I had had one partner, and a period from 27-32 with no relationshi…

I think this actually lines up with what the various stats being posted say though. Once people hit their 30s, the situation tends to reverse. Men tend to have more solid careers by their 30s and are more attractive because they are more stable, women realize they are on a timer if they want to even consider having a child.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#542

Post by rv-de »

Is this some incel subreddit, or what? Guys, chill, you can and you will meet women if you finally start to use your brains for this matter - and maybe pull yourself together every once in a while - it's not _just_ about genetically predisposed features. Having said that - I mean, meeting anybody these days is a bit of a challenge anyway.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#543

Post by akvadrako »

Coutured wrote: post #417
RodgerTheGreat wrote: post #347

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You may be asexual. There's nothing wrong with that. Do some research; choosing to identify with the label could make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Some dating apps allow you to specify your orientation as asexual and search for potential partners who feel the same. Sexual orientation is only one small factor in overall compatibility, but if it's something causing you anxiety while trying to find a part…

You can call it asexual or you can call it “sexually traumatized straight” but I’m not sure which is more accurate. One has nothing wrong with it and another has a lot wrong with it. To tell you the truth I’d not be particularly happy with either.

I think it’s quite normal to find sex a bit disgusting - human bodies are pretty gross, at least with modern sensibilities.

Sex is enjoyable when I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks with someone who I am comfortable with. But hookups are not worth it.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#544

Post by koonsolo »

downerending wrote: post #91
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I've noticed this among the young men in my extended family and friends. One guy is model cute, and goes out on Tinder "dates" whenever he wants (new girl weekly, at least). He had a live-in girlfriend, but with an open relationship. And if I were one of these women, I'd probably do the same thing. Even if you can't marry a hottie, if you can have sex with one a few times, that still sounds like fun. The other guys,…

> And if I were one of these women, I'd probably do the same thing.

My wife works with men and women who have a hard time finding relationships, so I have a bit of insight here.

You are completely wrong about what women want. You think that women are the same as men, but you are wrong. Women do not want a 'hottie'. I can tell you those women who go out with that 'hottie' have no self esteem, and are not happy. They end up at my wife's practice.

Men want a hot wife, because looks are very important. Women want a successful man, who can take care of the family, and is strong enough to protect the family. Women most of the time describe it as a "real man", but this does not translate well in what men thing a "real man" is.

Most women do not want a player, and only end up with one because of the low self esteem.

The good news is that men can influence their chances with women a LOT (and no this is not becoming a player). The sad part is that most men are too stubborn to accept this reality, and much rather blame their failure on women, other men or something else externally.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#545

Post by tomp »

luckylion wrote: post #415
tomp wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl Is being a desperate choice of someone who faces "economic realities" so much better than being a desperate choice of someone who faces "biological realities"?

Given that apparently quite a few men have an issue if their wife makes more money than them, probably. Being a provider is generally valued by men, being a romantic fallback not so much.

Well, it's a scale. My prior is that most men (people, really) would feel proud providing for their family and feel empty being "loved" by (what is essentially) a prostitute. Marrying a foreign girl (on purpose, not because you just happened to meet and fall in love) sounds to me more like the latter. But I could be wrong.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#546

Post by deathgrips »

derrick_jensen wrote: post #252
codingslave wrote: post #210

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its a zero sum game. When one side wins, the other side loses. Sexual freedom for women means essentially no sex for alot of men.

I'd argue that most men that won't have sex probably have some character issues they need to work out personally, or otherwise need to develop into somebody interesting. Dopamine hits from other places are more easy to come by, so it wouldn't surprise me that they just don't care enough, relative to their peers.

I'd argue that people who get laid off deserve it and just need to work harder.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#547

Post by troughway »

chrisjarvis wrote: post #503

A lot commenters here are blaming the sexual revolution for this trend, and I don't think that's the case (and its obviously a good thing women have more autonomy). I look at the men I'm surrounded by in my life, generally intelligent people who are financially comfortable in their mid or late 20s and think to myself, "I wouldn't fuck any of these losers, either." The men of my generation are absolutely consumed by t…

I agree with you here, but there are a number of other posts in this thread that are basically saying to "pull yourself up by the bootstraps", which we know works oh-so-well for those who are in poverty.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#548

Post by codezero »

deathgrips wrote: post #535
codezero wrote: post #457

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just want to point out how so many of the responses to this thread (and the thread itself) are much more a lament of "others are doing X and I am not" - and jumping to conclusions as to why that might be. I also want to add that so much going on here is based on really thin anecdata about how other people are fucking on tinder and you aren't. I don't see many people here talking about how they engaged in intentiona…

>You aren't owed a significant other, or sex. Nobody is. It's so interesting how whenever any man talks about romantic problems he is met with this feminist mantra "you aren't owed sex". Do you honestly think that's what we're talking about? If someone talked about how much it sucks that they don't have car and need to walk to work would you tell them "you aren't owed a car"? I think people regurgitate this phrase be…

I think your comment is fair - and if I thought there was a dialog happening on this thread, I'd be happy to engage in one, but I've read through a lot of the threads, and I'm not hearing much about why people think a scientific study validates their personal feelings of loneliness, or what conditions are meaningfully impacting that loneliness.

I'm hearing mostly outward complaints about what other people are doing to them, and that's mostly why I left my comment - a counter point.

I do get that it's not so simple as "it's their fault" and I do appreciate you making that comment, it's worth thinking about this next time, but it's hard to always do when you don't feel like everyone is coming to the table with open minds and good intentions.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#549

Post by koonsolo »

bronco21016 wrote: post #205
changoplatanero wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

men don't care how wealthy their sex partners are

I’d even argue it goes in the other direction to a degree. I’ve witnessed many relationships where the woman makes more money and it creates tension. Obviously, not in all cases but It does happen.

Indeed, and even if the woman does not care for it, the man might feel lesser of a man because of it.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#550

Post by swat535 »

wutbrodo wrote: post #228
georgeburdell wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I wouldn't be surprised to see a serious push for legalized polygamy in a few years. I mentioned the same thing to my wife, only half-joking. Many of her friends are single, professional women who don't want to date down. The problem is that all of the men they're interested in (millionaires in their 30s and 40s) get married quickly after they signal they're on the market. It seems to me there's presently an "ineffi…

As I enter my thirties, this dynamic has started to shift dramatically. All the women I know who haven't settled down by their early 30s are having crises about their inability to find a compatible mate, just as their physical attractiveness is declining precipitously[1]. As the priority shifts from sex/light companionship to deeper relationships, women's position in the modern dating market goes from very good to ve…

I'm not following you here.. Why would the attractive 25 year olds date 30 year old average men when they can have sex with top men? Your average 30yo men having access to women near his own age makes sense but not for younger women, since they seek the top 10% at that age.
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