Worth noting while 40+ countries celebrate Mother’s Day — per country, the holiday’s actual date varies.
See the wiki page for more information: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day
Tell HN: Call Mom
111–120 of 243 posts
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#112def mom(believe_hallmark = False, mom_exists = False, mom_cares = False): if (believe_hallmark == True and mom_exists == True and mom_cares == True): print('Call Mom') else: print('Nah') mom(False, True, False) License: This code is open source. [EDIT] I'd forgotten how poorly humor fares on HN.
For many environments, better performance can be found by swapping the "and" conditions with "or" conditions.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#113Well this thread did not have the comments I expected. At least in my case I have a mom who gave us her all and continues to be a part of my life. I call her pretty frequently but I appreciate having a holiday as an excuse to remind her how much I love and care about her - and how lucky I am to have that. That's what this holiday means to me.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#114I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…
You're going to get a lot of replies because this is an easy thing to have an opinion about. But the reason it is so is because it's incredibly subjective.
you mention that your father is the polar opposite of you politically. Well, so is my mum and she is my best friend for sure. She's ardently pro-brexit and I think it's stupid, we've even argued about it heatedly. (although often it can be quite "nice" to get an outside opinion, I am very aware of my own bubble and how the world has become this horrible polarising assortment of echo-chambers)
you mention that you have no shared hobbies, but that's not a dealbreaker either, I also don't have any hobbies shared with my mum.
The major difference might be that I have always had a "I trust you more than I trust myself" mentality, and I feel like I can tell her anything and not be judged. She doesn't have to give me solutions to every little problem but she will listen.
The other thing is I generally enjoy being in her presence, yes, she's overly tightly wound, she yells and gets aggravated to an unusually high degree, but she's a decent person and wants everyone to be happy, and that goes a long way.
What I'm trying to convey is that those things you mentioned don't matter as much as you might think they do, what matters is the kind of trust and enjoyment you both get out of each other generally.
I'm very bad at keeping in touch with people so I'm the wrong person to say that society expects you to call your parents. I don't think anyone outside cares if you do or not- it's about you and how much you want them in your life.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#115If your mother is a kind person whom you love, then by all means reach out and tell her. To others like me who may have a gaslighting c* * * of a mother, don't be bullied by societal norms into feeling like a bad person just because you don't want to connect with an abuser. It's perfectly fine to not call your mother on mother's day if you don't have the kind of relationship that will benefit from it.
I realize not everyone will agree, but I like to think of this as more of a symbolic thing; it doesn't need to be a biological, adoptive, step, foster mother, it can just be someone who you've really just appreciate as being warm and supportive over the years.
Sorry to hear that you've had that kind of experience!
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#116def mom(believe_hallmark = False, mom_exists = False, mom_cares = False): if (believe_hallmark == True and mom_exists == True and mom_cares == True): print('Call Mom') else: print('Nah') mom(False, True, False) License: This code is open source. [EDIT] I'd forgotten how poorly humor fares on HN.
`== True` is triggering
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#117If your mother is a kind person whom you love, then by all means reach out and tell her. To others like me who may have a gaslighting c* * * of a mother, don't be bullied by societal norms into feeling like a bad person just because you don't want to connect with an abuser. It's perfectly fine to not call your mother on mother's day if you don't have the kind of relationship that will benefit from it.
Yeah, the cultural presumption seems to be that if you don't call your mother you are a callous bastard who does not care about the person who brought you into this world and nurtured you. The sad fact is that since that relationship is so special, the callous negligence and other pathologies parted by the mother into the relationship are so many times more destructive. And this is not about the stereotypical sitcom…
I don't see why being addicted or suicidal makes someone unworthy of love.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#118Earlier quoted context omitted.
I see people downvoting so I just wanted to say, as a person with anger towards my dad, this makes some sense to me. He was a terrible father, and surely a large part of that is due to something like poor mental health from a rough upbringing. It really sucks that my siblings and I suffered from it, but I can also sympathize with what he went through. It's still really tough to know where to go from here. I feel like…
If your old man did you wrong Well maybe his old man did him wrong -mewithoutyou, Allah Allah Allah
Never thought I’d see a mewithoutyou lyric on HN. This community never ceases to surprise me! (:
The Fox, the Crow and the Cookie is still one of my favorite songs.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#119Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#120I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.
I was 21. My mom was in a permanent state of postoperative delirium and I was nursing her into her last days. It was just the two of us & I wasn't up to the task. I doubt I knew it was Mother's day. A few weeks earlier: My older siblings and I sent a bright, aware, career budget analyst into cancer surgery. The hospital returned a woman who no longer recognized us or even where she was. We were sent home and some hom…
I think you should be proud of the dignity you gave her. No one can stop death but we can give dignity to people we love or feel gratitude towards, and it sounds like whatever job you did, no matter how good or bad the fact that you were there gave her dignity at the end of her life.