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Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

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Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#632

I have also experience close to burnout and recovered multiple times, in the process I have lost very precious relationships, and entire years were spent in darkness. I also have friends who have been in tech for close to ten years, and are close to burning out though they would never admit to such. This is the nature of the beast, all things that appear glamorous on the outside ( Hollywood, Finance, Tech, many nonpr…

All accurate and objective and good for everyone to know early rather than late. Moving a bit further from the specifics, it's worth noting that this is not a natural state of affairs. Humans evolved to be in groups of about 30-100 people who they knew their whole lives and thus making catastrophic deception nearly impossible. Likewise vast sums of wealth did not exist nor total social and fiscal isolation surrounded…

This evolutionary take on matters feels like a template

" Unhappy about ? Well, in the stone age wouldn't have happened, therefore, genes/anatomy not adapted and blah blah.

Addicted to ? Well, cro-magnons found it hard to and genes/biology adapted to move us to . So now that we have solved the problem, you still have these genes that get you addicted to ... "

It was an interesting thought the first few times that I encountered it. Now it feels like a cheap way to sound clever. "Oh, this guy has an evolutionary basis for his opinions, he must know so much about history biology and genetics too"

I propose we slowly let this cliche fall out of fashion.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#633
Having read this a second time, I suspect that "technology" here is represented by "web framework launch Silicon valley velocity board IPO tickets vulture-capitalist 'go big or go home' standup burnrate" and little else.

Not all technology is like that. Technology happens without the constant churn of frameworks popping in and out of vogue, without a dependency being drug into the Google Graveyard on little notice, without scrum and story points. Technology happens without a single investor around. Technology happens outside of California ... it even can occur in the flyover states.

First, go make something with your hands. Or learn to. Makerspaces are shut most likely and of course Techshop folding was a drag but ... make something other than a sandcastle of bits that will be washed away when the moon of fashion drags a wave of fickle adherence over your hard work. Smash it or give it away. Now do it again, and again. You will like your third version.

Make something for yourself, that no investor will ever see. You will not make a dime out of it. Go ahead and program something to automate a personal itch. Maybe you just want to see what movies are around within fifty miles and then you won't to pick a theater; try prying that data out of some feeds and re-organizing it. Write something that alerts you on Wednesday when a new moon is going to be on a Friday or Saturday night so you can go to look at the stars somewhere far from the city. Do it without unit tests or deployment or CI/CD or a single git command.

Look for a problem where you work with the data, not with the UX or presentation or reaching for Bootstrap. Something where the web is not involved.

I can tell you what the lesson here is but you should do these things and figure out why it all feels so different and what you didn't like about ... before.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#634
> Many of the investors turned out to be bloodthirsty vultures

> I lost many friends

> This is just the reality of what happens to people when extreme stress ends in failure

> So the worst case scenario is that you get eaten by vultures and lose friends. And the best case scenario is that you're in a soulless machine that turns everyone into an automaton

You're not disillusioned with technology. You're disillusioned with humanity (as you probably ought to be.)

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#635

This is just my personal approach to being disillusioned with tech, but I think about it a lot so I thought I'd share. I think one of the most dangerous cliches we are taught when we are young is "do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life". It sets up the expectation that your passion and your job should be tightly coupled, and if they aren't, there's something flawed with you. Having a job where you…

I have a different take on this. "do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life" isn't a dangerous cliche, it is in fact true (note that many cliches are cliches because they are obvious truisms). The problem is that it has a number of caveats. One of which is that it is impossible to "do what you love" while taking direction from other people unless their goals and ideals are 100% aligned with your own, which is pretty much never the case. It doesn't matter who those people are, they could be the vulture capitalists mentioned in the post or they could just be your manager. It doesn't matter if you're able to have a beer with them at the end of the day if you have different motivations for doing the work that you're doing.

The other environments mentioned, a tech giant and a high growth unicorn, are obviously composed of people playing the same pathological game. They're all publicly working towards whatever goals the company has set while privately pursuing their own. I think most of this is inescapable with the way we currently structure corporations. Even when you purposefully try to avoid this outcome it still happens.

I think groups of people are able to achieve and maintain a sort of synchrony that allows them to "do what they love" together. You hear about it and sometimes are lucky enough to be there for it when different places, communities, or companies have that "golden age" where things are lined up perfectly, people are building on each other's work, and every day just seems to flow naturally. Often after the fact it gets derided as drinking the kool-aid or a reality distortion field but something happens when everyone buys in to the dream. I think we've lost a lot of that, we're too cynical and have convinced ourselves that it's not real and that's pretty much a self-fulfilling prophecy since it leads to a permanent state of disillusionment. That's where we wind up just clocking in and out, doing an honest days work and narrowing our lives down to whatever is left over. You sell half your life to buy the other. In my mind that's much more dangerous than chasing your dreams.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#637

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m in the US and my experience is the same as yours. Maybe 50% of my friends are coworkers and former coworkers. I have almost always stayed at companies longer than I otherwise would because I loved my coworkers. Burnout for me is caused by too much bureaucracy, too many meetings, and incompatible programming philosophies. Only twice in my long career have I left a job due to an insufferable coworker.

> incompatible programming philosophies This really hits home for me. I'm at my most miserable when working with people who value doing things fast more than doing them well. I suspect those people are also at their most miserable when working with me. I see them as creating work that I'll have to do eventually to clean up their mess, and I suspect they see me as an insufferable gatekeeper.

Do you enjoy cleaning up their mess? If so, is it not the perfect environment, where everyone is doing something they do best and enjoy?

Or do you dislike cleaning it up? In this case, why do you do it? Noblesse Oblige?

Asking because I love refactoring. I also love pushing features fast. But I absolutely dread having to do "perfect code" in the first try. I keep trying to push this idea (inspired by Mythical-Man-Month) here in HN that a perfect team would have people "working fast and breaking things" with people working behind them that love refactoring everything cleaning it up.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#638

I'm having similar issues, and i think i found a way out: stop playing their game. Don't make enterprise software. Don't write unit tests. Don't accept pull requests. Simply write software for yourself and have fun doing it. Forget refactoring code into modules, just fucking code. Don't worry about deployment with k8s, just copy the Python script to your production folder and run it. Fuck all that shit about git bran…

There has been a lot of cargo-culted best practice in the last 5-10 years that is unjustified busy-work. I have a little secret in the same vain. I turn off all email notifications, and have no apps on my phone. Never been an issue. I just check the source when it makes sense during my work day. No more senseless interruptions, no worrying about things that aren't actually on my agenda. A smooth workflow and peace of mind.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#639

This is just my personal approach to being disillusioned with tech, but I think about it a lot so I thought I'd share. I think one of the most dangerous cliches we are taught when we are young is "do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life". It sets up the expectation that your passion and your job should be tightly coupled, and if they aren't, there's something flawed with you. Having a job where you…

> spend the other 8-10 hours a day doing things you actually like to do

How many hours are in your day? I don't even have kids and I don't even have 4 hours in a workday doing things I actually like to do.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#640

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m in the US and my experience is the same as yours. Maybe 50% of my friends are coworkers and former coworkers. I have almost always stayed at companies longer than I otherwise would because I loved my coworkers. Burnout for me is caused by too much bureaucracy, too many meetings, and incompatible programming philosophies. Only twice in my long career have I left a job due to an insufferable coworker.

> incompatible programming philosophies This really hits home for me. I'm at my most miserable when working with people who value doing things fast more than doing them well. I suspect those people are also at their most miserable when working with me. I see them as creating work that I'll have to do eventually to clean up their mess, and I suspect they see me as an insufferable gatekeeper.

You're not alone friend. I am in this boat as well. Hopefully some day we'll work together and we can admire each other's beautiful code :-D
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