Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

I'm having similar issues, and i think i found a way out: stop playing their game. Don't make enterprise software. Don't write unit tests. Don't accept pull requests. Simply write software for yourself and have fun doing it. Forget refactoring code into modules, just fucking code. Don't worry about deployment with k8s, just copy the Python script to your production folder and run it. Fuck all that shit about git branch naming conventions, or how you're supposed to use an object factory, just do whatever you want in the moment, bit by bit, until your software works most of the time then use it. Forget configuration, just hard code values for now. Don't worry about documentation, just do it.

Your expectations, and the expectations of others, are your enemy here.

At least, that's what got me out it. I'm still disillusioned with the world but it's manageable if I can realize I'm making a difference to my son and wife every day, and that's what counts for me.

As there is not really an educational background given, I'd suggest learning a new programming language or starting with SICP or other cool programming books, which have the potential to give the reader and eager learner many "Aha!" moments and insights. That should make programming interesting again. There is always more to learn about code and programming.

Or alternatively, do something else, until you get an interesting idea or need a tool for what you actually want to deal with and code it up. This can reinforce both, programming and the actual activity, that one wanted to do.

I did throw everything away. I walked away from ~$10M, so this isn't the problem.

To live in the present moment one has to unsee the cant. That's the difficult part. How to keep the mind from focusing on all the bullshit that it can't unsee. The burnout, the disillusionment, the politics, the faded friendships. That's what's hard.

You may enjoy listening to Jonathan Coulton's Solid State. It's a magnificent album about someone similarly disillusioned with tech.

The album is uploaded on YouTube, but this was the teaser that he uploaded before the album release.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvVNxqosZ7s

go watch some tv.

get properly angry at the amount of bullshit and disinformation that thing spews out regardless of stated or implied affiliation.

compare with herds of people who don't trust science but can't stop themselves from telling everyone about their favorite kind of youtube shaman.

realize some people have it worse. nothing to be happy about except that it could be worse for you and it isn't.

figure out a way to fix democracy and reconcile free speech with the internet. or help humanity go to mars or fix climate catastrophe.

wield data and algorithms against forces of evil. with luck you won't think of yourself as a cog.

or take up gardening. freshly picked strawberries are my favorite.