Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help • Hacker News Board

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#21

Post by agentultra » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:02 PM UTC

throwaway839246 wrote: post #6

throwaway123874 wrote: post #5

I think the only answer here is to stop clinging onto this 'life' you have. The optimism you're seeking comes from looking forward to today, right now. Right here, right now. Everything is the present moment. If you do not find yourself in the present moment - this could be due to the weight of money, weight of the future, weight of obligations - then abandon it all. You don't need anything. Just reclaim the time tha…

I did throw everything away. I walked away from ~$10M, so this isn't the problem. To live in the present moment one has to unsee the cant. That's the difficult part. How to keep the mind from focusing on all the bullshit that it can't unsee. The burnout, the disillusionment, the politics, the faded friendships. That's what's hard.

Don't go off of anti-depressants and don't stop going to therapy.

My burnout got so bad that I was starting to forget words and had a difficult time remembering short term tasks. I had trouble sleeping. My thoughts were cloudy and it became difficult to stay productive.

Therapy has given me the tools and framework to develop habits and patterns of thinking to cope with my burnout.

If I had been prescribed anti-depressants I wouldn't hesitate to be on them.

Unchecked, who knows how bad it could have gotten.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#22

Post by aprdm » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:03 PM UTC

battery_cowboy wrote: post #2

I'm having similar issues, and i think i found a way out: stop playing their game. Don't make enterprise software. Don't write unit tests. Don't accept pull requests. Simply write software for yourself and have fun doing it. Forget refactoring code into modules, just fucking code. Don't worry about deployment with k8s, just copy the Python script to your production folder and run it. Fuck all that shit about git bran…

This! (And wait until you figure out there’s a lot of real companies running like that..)

I would say to also work in a domain you care about and like. I don’t like technology for technology sake and never did.

I like solving problems and see technology as a tool to do so. I love the company I work for, the people and the problems we get to solve. I love even more when I solve them without the need to write a single line of code.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#23

Post by jupp0r » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:05 PM UTC

Think of an interesting non-software related domain that you enjoy and then use software to solve a problem in it. 10 years ago I scraped a run logger app backend for my running statistics and did data analysis on my GPS tracks that helped my training (things that Strava is doing today).

Don't make it into a product or publish it or do anything else that creates pressure on you. Just do it to solve your own problems. Be ok with the vast majority of those projects never being completed. The deal is to learn something and enjoy the pure act of creating something.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#24

Post by Impossible » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:07 PM UTC

ignasl wrote: post #18

I am not sure what's wrong with you and why you are happy but unhappy?! but if I would have to guess - it's most likely antidepressants/therapy. There is new "you" but you miss old "you". Brain chemistry is no joke and if you don't absolutely absolutely need medication don't do it. Ask good doctors for second, third and fourth opinions if needed.

If anything OP was worse off before they started treatment. Changing or getting off meds could be a valid choice but all the changes seem to have lead OP to a generally better life

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#25

Post by cyborgx7 » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:07 PM UTC

As long as the primary motivator remains profit, rather than increasing the averages person Quality of life, technology will be used to replace people to their detriment, rather than to their advantage.

I'm sorry I have no good reason for you why you shouldn't be depressed. I'm afraid, depression might be the appropriate reaction to the state of things.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#26

Post by daenz » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:07 PM UTC

Sometimes I feel this way when I have unaddressed issues in my life. And I don't necessarily mean emotional/psych things; Sometimes it is as simple as having a messy room/harddrive, or some things that have sat on the backburner for far too long. Take a step back and see if you have any of those things, then address them deliberately, and see if you feel better.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#27

Post by zackbloom » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:09 PM UTC

I think the fundamental flaw is trying to be 'successful'. Playing that game invariably requires you to pretend to be what you think the market wants.

I would suggest you think about building something you want that you find fun. If you're a scuba diver, build a dive computer. If you're a woodworker make a tool for making the best use of a board. The most important thing is you absolutely don't plan on making it a world-changing multi-billion dollar anything. Make it, even sell it if you want, and enjoy the ride.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#28

Post by FpUser » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:10 PM UTC

I'd say keep doing what you do and seem to like now. The rest may come back. One day you might think of an interesting idea would want to try it and then before you know you'll be already doing things to make that idea come to life. Just do not try to force things upon yourself.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#29

Post by ethanwillis » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:10 PM UTC

nitwit005 wrote: post #15

The complaints are human behavior rather than technology, or the culture around it. There are places that are better than others, but you're going to encounter self interest and "dilbertesque" behavior everywhere. Personally, I view learning to deal with work is an emotional skill you have to develop. Even if you get a job doing math all day in a research position, you need to be ready for the usual academic politics…

Technology itself is what breeds these environments though. Humans haven't changed much, what has changed is our environment.

You actually kind of hint at it in your own writing. The behavior is everywhere.

Re: Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

#30

Post by cyborgx7 » Mon, May 04, 2020, 9:10 PM UTC

gfosco wrote: post #9

battery_cowboy wrote: post #2

I'm having similar issues, and i think i found a way out: stop playing their game. Don't make enterprise software. Don't write unit tests. Don't accept pull requests. Simply write software for yourself and have fun doing it. Forget refactoring code into modules, just fucking code. Don't worry about deployment with k8s, just copy the Python script to your production folder and run it. Fuck all that shit about git bran…

That's generally an unpopular and unwelcome opinion here, but I agree with you 100%. edit: and i'll happily take those downvotes, they are delicious thank you.

you are not getting downvotes because people are disagreeing with you