351–360 of 404 posts
I'm somewhat interest in therapies (not for narcissism, but more for issues of self-confidence, anxiety), but I will not spend my time and money without strong scientific evidence.
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IANAN, but living abroad when I was about 25 really improved my humility. I'm used to being quick-witted, knowledgable, and generally good with people. When I got to a place where English is not the default language, I was essentially an idiot---I was confused a lot, unable to make jokes, and little kids laughed at my attempts to, say, order a gyro. It all clicked when I was lamenting it to my girlfriend, who said (w…
Don't Rob the world of your good jokes, friend, I always appreciate a laugh.
I just realized that my jokes were shutting off other people who might be saying something, or redirecting the conversation away from something interesting. So now I just stifle them if I can tell that someone else (especially someone less talkative than me) has something they want to say.
Usually I explain them to my wife hours later, and at least _I_ get a kick out of them.
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I'm in the bay area - this seems like the best option. The difficulty is either I don't know anyone my age that has one or it's still taboo for men to talk about so people don't. I'd guess it's a combination of both. The only people I've known personally who see a therapist are women (and from that small sample they don't want you to see their same person). I think men tend to rely entirely on their SO which is proba…
It's already hard mustering up the courage and desire to go to therapy. Then I spend hours filling out forms, making cold-calls, completely blind -- reading Yelp reviews on therapists, man. Then I don't get callbacks and am told doctors aren't taking new patients. OK. But everyone is happy recommending therapy. Oooh, it's sooo great! Yeah. Only if I could find some. I'm assuming therapists designed their funnel this…
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> How do you do find someone good that you trust? How do you find someone worth the time? The couple of times I've tried to find someone you end up making a lot of unreturned phone calls. But it's the same with Doctors. Some doctors won't listen to your symptoms, some doctors might have old information, or brush you off. Would you put off going to a doctor because of those problems?
It's not really the same with doctors. With doctors there are places everyone goes where you can sign up and get a doctor which is relatively easy to schedule. From there for routine stuff there's less variability, you just do your routine checkup, and you'll be referred to experts if necessary. There's also a higher minimum standard to get an MD. It's both way easier to find one and easier to determine they're quali…
If you see a psychotherapist, they have to be certified as an MD and then they get therapist training.
Perhaps the closest opposite to narcissism is humility. One way to really experience humility is to inject yourself into something truly foreign where money is an insufficient remedy. I don't know what that humbling experience will be for you. For me it was living in Afghanistan for 2 years, of which one of those years I traveled frequently and spoke with many people there. It doesn't matter how much money you make a…
IANAN, but living abroad when I was about 25 really improved my humility. I'm used to being quick-witted, knowledgable, and generally good with people. When I got to a place where English is not the default language, I was essentially an idiot---I was confused a lot, unable to make jokes, and little kids laughed at my attempts to, say, order a gyro. It all clicked when I was lamenting it to my girlfriend, who said (w…
I think the most important thing I never realized is that not everyone will like you, and it is a complete waste of time to try to get people to like you. It is better to be hated by some and loved by some, then to be liked by all.
Perhaps the closest opposite to narcissism is humility. One way to really experience humility is to inject yourself into something truly foreign where money is an insufficient remedy. I don't know what that humbling experience will be for you. For me it was living in Afghanistan for 2 years, of which one of those years I traveled frequently and spoke with many people there. It doesn't matter how much money you make a…
Sorry but no. This will not fix narcissism. Narcissists are broken people incapable of self-reflection and everything centers around them. They see everything in the world as being put here for their enjoyment. They thrive off of attention (negative or positive) and it's the only time they feel alive.
I would add that Narcissistic Personality Disorder, like all personality disorders, is essentially unfixable [0]. However it's unlikely that OP has NPD, since someone who actually has an NPD would not be aware if it.
[0] According to my psych friend.
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It's not really the same with doctors. With doctors there are places everyone goes where you can sign up and get a doctor which is relatively easy to schedule. From there for routine stuff there's less variability, you just do your routine checkup, and you'll be referred to experts if necessary. There's also a higher minimum standard to get an MD. It's both way easier to find one and easier to determine they're quali…
> There's also a higher minimum standard to get an MD. If you see a psychotherapist, they have to be certified as an MD and then they get therapist training.
It seems like narcissism requires the subject to be unaware of their self-absorption and/or antisocially putting their needs always above those of others, especially with a lack of guilt and/or remorse. Furthermore, there is an opposite extreme: considering the needs of others always above self, e.g., giving everything away and not taking care of oneself before taking care of others.
Perhaps there are several general potential sources of dysfunction in this realm:
0. Mood/physiological disorders like depression and anxiety, which can be managed and occasionally cured.
1. Personality disorders including clinically-relevant psychopathy which cannot be cured but only managed and coped-with.
2. A desire to seek-out victimhood or conditions by self-diagnosing symptoms that don't rise to the level of clinical/life impairment.
3. Realization (or lack thereof) that there is almost always a non-zero sum game to life, e.g., living is predicated on, and necessitates, hoarding scarce energy and resources.
I don't think it's a good idea to self-diagnose or offer unsolicited advice on the internet to others. Ask a professional in the real world who is a) not you and b) has a more objective/dispassionate perspective. Also, there are many existential questions and dilemmas that are good to ponder, but ultimately have few perfect answers or resolvable conclusions.