Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018) • Hacker News Board

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#391

Post by czbond » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 10:23 PM UTC

holografix wrote: post #354

czbond wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. I'm teaching my kids the things they need to be competitive - by out-thinking or out-doing the people around them. Addition: What you'll find is most of life, is people acting on unsound strategies, poor fortitude, or poor self control, or having personality preferences that are easy to predict, or thinking in group think. Let school handle the mundane, I'm teaching them strategy, leadership, multiple scenari…

Might wanna throw in how to be empathetic, how to listen, not judge too harshly, generosity, environmentalism, volunteering, etc. You risk turning your kid into a one dimensional corporate ladder climber while you project your fears onto her/him.

I don't disagree. I'm currently showing them how a little effort early in life allows them significant freedoms later in life by doing literally what 'hackers' do best, take advantage of existing systems no matter if they are economic, personal, etc - and using the existing boundaries, system glitches, and exponential leverage multipliers to form the desired life they like. But I do like some of your additions...

edit: by "hackers" i mean the term for people who created their own solutions to existing systems of anytype. Not the cybercriminal definition.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#392

Post by underpand » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 11:01 PM UTC

burfog wrote: post #344

crimsonalucard wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder why a lot of asians have this racial inferiority complex. I (being asian myself) grew up in an affluent asian dominated neighborhood of Cupertino. I had black, white and asian friends growing up and I never thought too much of racial issues. Maybe because in my schools asian americans were largely the majority. Again, I had the same experience going to school at UCLA which was largely populated mostly by asi…

We don't need any complicated social or cultural explanations for the dating issue. Women generally prefer taller men. Asian men tend to be short. The explanation works the other way too, with men typically preferring shorter women. There are other attributes as well, such as muscle mass and the amount of body hair.

Counter example: Latino men tend to be short and date out at a similar rate to Latina women.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#393

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 11:02 PM UTC

kilroy_jones wrote: post #304

crimsonalucard wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder why a lot of asians have this racial inferiority complex. I (being asian myself) grew up in an affluent asian dominated neighborhood of Cupertino. I had black, white and asian friends growing up and I never thought too much of racial issues. Maybe because in my schools asian americans were largely the majority. Again, I had the same experience going to school at UCLA which was largely populated mostly by asi…

Asians dating white people may come less from seeing other Asians as inferior, but from a desire to escape their own cultural trappings. Depending on how conservative (traditional) the family is, many Asian women I know prefer dating non-Asian men because it doesn't come with the same expectations from their family. They can escape the make babies, make money, deal with a mother-in-law pressures, which may be much hi…

[deleted]

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#394

Post by MiroF » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 1:07 AM UTC

banads wrote: post #377

MiroF wrote: post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're correct - I misremembered the exact numbers. Median is an average. The Federal Reserve Bank of Boston was my source for this. Despite your usage of the qualifier "only" to describe the sample sizes, that is more than sufficient to draw statistically significant conclusions about the racial gap in wealth in Boston. Finally, here's the description of how the samples were selected: > Various sampling techniques w…

Obviously there is a considerable wealth gap among different demographics. But if you compare a poor black neighborhood with a poor white trailer park, there won't be much of a difference. If you compare that poor neighborhood or trailer park with a rich white gated community, you're not really saying much that isn't already known. How do we know the people who conducted the study didn't purposefully do the latter?

Because the Fed is a reputable organization and described their methodology above?

Not really going to keep replying to this thread, but I think it's much more likely that the Fed is accurately reporting the reality of an extreme racial wealth gap, as opposed to the Federal Reserve Bank doctoring results to fake those wealth gaps.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#395

Post by holografix » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 2:37 AM UTC

czbond wrote: post #391

holografix wrote: post #354

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Might wanna throw in how to be empathetic, how to listen, not judge too harshly, generosity, environmentalism, volunteering, etc. You risk turning your kid into a one dimensional corporate ladder climber while you project your fears onto her/him.

I don't disagree. I'm currently showing them how a little effort early in life allows them significant freedoms later in life by doing literally what 'hackers' do best, take advantage of existing systems no matter if they are economic, personal, etc - and using the existing boundaries, system glitches, and exponential leverage multipliers to form the desired life they like. But I do like some of your additions... edi…

A thoughtful response. Early wins will compound towards less anxiety and limitations in the future, it's clear you want what's best for your kid.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#396

Post by beerandt » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 3:55 AM UTC

specialist wrote: post #382

japhyr wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I like that your focus is on people being comfortable enough to ask their own questions. That's a clear, concrete goal that gets right to the heart of the issue you describe, in the library setting. One simple strategy is to close any bit of teaching you do with the phrase, "What questions do you have?" This is a subtle but important change from "Does anyone have any questions?" The first phrasing assumes people will…

"The first phrasing assumes people will have questions, and implies that you are looking for and welcoming questions." I wish I could hug you. There must be a zillion useful "language hacks", if we only knew. I learned "All negatives can be stated a positive" in the early 90s. Been trying to use it ever since. For example, instead of "Don't run!", maybe say "Please walk." Completely changed my relationship to my kid.…

>Completely changed my relationship to my kid.

Had the same experience when I figured out to make offerings as A/B choices (and non-choices).

Instead of "Do you want broccoli?" It's: "Would you rather broccoli or cauliflower?"

Or the non-choice: "Do you want to eat your broccoli at the kitchen table or on the porch?"

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#397

Post by fersho311 » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 7:05 AM UTC

umvi wrote: post #311

fersho311 wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Step 1: Pick a few libraries, find the want you want to plant roots in. Make sure they let you talk and they have wifi. Talk to the librarian about your plans. Step 2: Pick a curriculum to follow. Many other bootcamps have their curriculum online. I have my own that I built over the past 10 years of teaching and making sure every single student I taught got a job. You can use it too if you want: c0d3.com/book Step 3:…

How young are your students? Or rather, how young are your youngest students?

20. Oldest just turned 75 (sadly, he is homeless)

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#398

Post by CompanionCuuube » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 6:38 PM UTC

aaomidi wrote: post #143

datashow wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just happened to read a story where an Asian was killed while two blacks trying to steal laptop from him https://abc7news.com/5811847 The story mentioned one suspect's sister saying " I have 4 kids and no daddy in their lives ". I simply can't understand this. One kid , I can understand. But four? ... Four (Add: non has daddy present)? I just have too many questions. Add: I interpreted "no daddy in their lives" as…

"Two blacks" You're seriously just going to identity people by their color of their skin?

Interesting how you skipped past "an Asian" just a few words earlier in the sentence.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#399

Post by banads » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 8:48 PM UTC

MiroF wrote: post #394

banads wrote: post #377

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Obviously there is a considerable wealth gap among different demographics. But if you compare a poor black neighborhood with a poor white trailer park, there won't be much of a difference. If you compare that poor neighborhood or trailer park with a rich white gated community, you're not really saying much that isn't already known. How do we know the people who conducted the study didn't purposefully do the latter?

Because the Fed is a reputable organization and described their methodology above? Not really going to keep replying to this thread, but I think it's much more likely that the Fed is accurately reporting the reality of an extreme racial wealth gap, as opposed to the Federal Reserve Bank doctoring results to fake those wealth gaps.

Economic studies are often rife with bias and political motives, as you know. It's foolish to trust such things on faith-based appeals to authority.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#400

Post by underpand » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 3:03 AM UTC

kilroy_jones wrote: post #304

crimsonalucard wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder why a lot of asians have this racial inferiority complex. I (being asian myself) grew up in an affluent asian dominated neighborhood of Cupertino. I had black, white and asian friends growing up and I never thought too much of racial issues. Maybe because in my schools asian americans were largely the majority. Again, I had the same experience going to school at UCLA which was largely populated mostly by asi…

Asians dating white people may come less from seeing other Asians as inferior, but from a desire to escape their own cultural trappings. Depending on how conservative (traditional) the family is, many Asian women I know prefer dating non-Asian men because it doesn't come with the same expectations from their family. They can escape the make babies, make money, deal with a mother-in-law pressures, which may be much hi…

That comes with some trade-offs.

1. Having a spouse who does not have the cultural knowledge, similar interests, empathy or language skills to communicate with your family is an issue. Her choice to date a white man is in a sense a rejection of her own family.

2. She herself may not have the same experiences, mindsets and interests to be able to really connect with her spouse if the relationship is driven by her attempt to run away from the expectations of her family.

3. A white man and his family/friends have a higher chance of being racist and insensitive to race issues. Weirdly enough, it does not seem like racist beliefs and white supremacy preclude white men from dating Asian women or Asian women from reciprocating interest: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/06/opinion/sunday/alt-right-...