Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018) • Hacker News Board

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#351

Post by crimsonalucard » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 6:39 AM UTC

fiblye wrote: post #349

crimsonalucard wrote: post #330

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is not true. First of all if this were true you'd see tons of asian men dating white women to escape the cultural pressure. You don't see this at all, the phenomenon is largely among women. Second of all, the pressures you describe are a bit exaggerated. The whole mother-in-law, make money and make baby deal is not very common at all. It exists and is more common among asians than westerners but it is still very…

> First of all if this were true you'd see tons of asian men dating white women to escape the cultural pressure. Before jumping to conclusions, there’s another question to ask: do Asian men not want white women, do white women not want Asian men, or is there another reason entirely?

It's a bit of both. But mostly white women do not want Asian men.

Look you grew up in america, I grew up in america. We're not that different in what we want, and it's the same with asian women and white women.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#352

Post by _8j50 » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 6:51 AM UTC

mmsimanga wrote: post #130

I can't read the article seems have suffered HN effect. Speaking as a black man in Africa which is somewhat different to the US I do agree with the title. Africa is different because the first educated generation is my parents generation who are 70+. Off course they are exceptions. My parents who were teachers coming from pure village setup didn't have any mentors. No one explained mortgage to them, they learnt that…

FWIW, I strongly believe debt is never ok. It can be ok in the same way a hospital surgery is ok (you have no choice). Mortgages are not sustainable either. Just because the practice has been popularized in the west for centuries,it does not make it a sound practice.

It is possible to buy a house with money you saved. This also makes a lot of sense when the house will be passed on to the next generation (like it is done in africa).

Debt is spending your future cashflow for short term gains. Cash flow/liquidity is much more important than equity and net wealth(short term). I'm sure you know the old principle of "being poor is expensive" and "you need money to make money". Debt takes away your liquidity, the small things/"broken windows" you will always need to care for become neglected. Unplanned emergencies ruin your plans,etc...

At a national level, you should know how many african nations have borrowed endlessly and still gotten nowhere. Even after debts are forgiven and stable peacful times last decades.

Accepting debt is accepting a parasite. Havig a plan to pay it off is essentially saying you have a plan to kill the parasite before it kills you. Similar to how people think "it's ok, I can quit" before getting hooked on drugs.

YMMV.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#353

Post by austhrow743 » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 6:58 AM UTC

_8j50 wrote: post #352

mmsimanga wrote: post #130

I can't read the article seems have suffered HN effect. Speaking as a black man in Africa which is somewhat different to the US I do agree with the title. Africa is different because the first educated generation is my parents generation who are 70+. Off course they are exceptions. My parents who were teachers coming from pure village setup didn't have any mentors. No one explained mortgage to them, they learnt that…

FWIW, I strongly believe debt is never ok. It can be ok in the same way a hospital surgery is ok (you have no choice). Mortgages are not sustainable either. Just because the practice has been popularized in the west for centuries,it does not make it a sound practice. It is possible to buy a house with money you saved. This also makes a lot of sense when the house will be passed on to the next generation (like it is d…

>Debt is spending your future cashflow for short term gains.

No, debt is spending your future cashflow to increase your future cash flow.

>"you need money to make money"

Yes. This is where debt comes in.

>Debt takes away your liquidity

No it increases it. Debt lets you turn an illiquid asset like a building or accounts receivable in to immediate cash.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#354

Post by holografix » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:00 AM UTC

czbond wrote: post #252

newnewpdro wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a responsibility to prepare your children as best you can to stand on their own in a competitive world. It's basically just one degree separated from the competition.

Agreed. I'm teaching my kids the things they need to be competitive - by out-thinking or out-doing the people around them. Addition: What you'll find is most of life, is people acting on unsound strategies, poor fortitude, or poor self control, or having personality preferences that are easy to predict, or thinking in group think. Let school handle the mundane, I'm teaching them strategy, leadership, multiple scenari…

Might wanna throw in how to be empathetic, how to listen, not judge too harshly, generosity, environmentalism, volunteering, etc. You risk turning your kid into a one dimensional corporate ladder climber while you project your fears onto her/him.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#355

Post by lonelappde » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:01 AM UTC

mcdramamean wrote: post #236

I'll just leave this here: https://socialequity.duke.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/wha... The wealth disparity between African Americans and the rest of America is growing. Mentorship is fine, but what most African Americans need is access to resources and stable community (which was destroyed through many years of Social Engineering).

Movement is stirring: wikipedia.org/wiki/Reparations_for_slavery

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#356

Post by lonelappde » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:09 AM UTC

datashow wrote: post #78

jenkins6g wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed, but as a black man who grew up fatherless be mindful why black fathers are absent. Many times it's not by choice. There were and still are intentional systems in place to make it difficult for fathers to get jobs, stay within the prison system, and have access to quality education. I urge people commenting to ask their black friends for their insights. I came from an inner city and graduated from CMU. The two…

I just happened to read a story where an Asian was killed while two blacks trying to steal laptop from him https://abc7news.com/5811847 The story mentioned one suspect's sister saying " I have 4 kids and no daddy in their lives ". I simply can't understand this. One kid , I can understand. But four? ... Four (Add: non has daddy present)? I just have too many questions. Add: I interpreted "no daddy in their lives" as…

Humans, like all surviving animals, have a strong reproductive instinct, as required by evolution. Thus, many women have children.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#357

Post by austhrow743 » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:14 AM UTC

crimsonalucard wrote: post #351

fiblye wrote: post #349

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> First of all if this were true you'd see tons of asian men dating white women to escape the cultural pressure. Before jumping to conclusions, there’s another question to ask: do Asian men not want white women, do white women not want Asian men, or is there another reason entirely?

It's a bit of both. But mostly white women do not want Asian men. Look you grew up in america, I grew up in america. We're not that different in what we want, and it's the same with asian women and white women.

If the difference is mostly white women not wanting Asian men, then your whole

> First of all if this were true you'd see tons of asian men dating white women to escape the cultural pressure. You don't see this at all, the phenomenon is largely among women.

argument is invalid. What's more there's no reason for you to be distinguishing between wants of asian men and women.

Your conclusion imo should just be that women of all races find asian men too weak to date. Men either don't find asian women weak, don't care, or care but in a positive way.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#358

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:40 AM UTC

burfog wrote: post #344

crimsonalucard wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder why a lot of asians have this racial inferiority complex. I (being asian myself) grew up in an affluent asian dominated neighborhood of Cupertino. I had black, white and asian friends growing up and I never thought too much of racial issues. Maybe because in my schools asian americans were largely the majority. Again, I had the same experience going to school at UCLA which was largely populated mostly by asi…

We don't need any complicated social or cultural explanations for the dating issue. Women generally prefer taller men. Asian men tend to be short. The explanation works the other way too, with men typically preferring shorter women. There are other attributes as well, such as muscle mass and the amount of body hair.

[deleted]

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#359

Post by crimsonalucard » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:45 AM UTC

austhrow743 wrote: post #357

crimsonalucard wrote: post #351

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a bit of both. But mostly white women do not want Asian men. Look you grew up in america, I grew up in america. We're not that different in what we want, and it's the same with asian women and white women.

If the difference is mostly white women not wanting Asian men, then your whole > First of all if this were true you'd see tons of asian men dating white women to escape the cultural pressure. You don't see this at all, the phenomenon is largely among women. argument is invalid. What's more there's no reason for you to be distinguishing between wants of asian men and women. Your conclusion imo should just be that wome…

>Your conclusion imo should just be that women of all races find asian men too weak to date.

Who says this wasn't my conclusion? All women want to date up in terms of class. They also don't want to date black people. Black men and Asian men currently occupy the bottom of the dating ladder.

Guess who sits on top? White people. The problem is none of this is real. White people aren't the best, it's only this pathetic view point of racial inferiority that causes women to see the world like this.

Also I'm only emphasizing on asians because it's disproportionally pathetic. The inferiority complex is off the charts, I can't think of any other race that literally avoids dating their own race to the scale of asian women.

>If the difference is mostly white women not wanting Asian men, then your whole argument is invalid. What's more there's no reason for you to be distinguishing between wants of asian men and women.

Wrong. Not invalid at all. And I never ever made your claim above.

My claim in this context is that asian women dating white men is not the result of asian women trying to run away from strict asian culture. The whole point was to counter an argument made by another poster.

Asian Men wanting to date white women does not mean they don't want to date asian women. They do want to date white women but the ratio isn't as disproportionate as asian women women worshiping white males.

Also why can't I distinguish something? It's not me distinguishing anything. It's reality that is making a distinction.

Re: Black boys don’t need more discipline, they need mentors (2018)

#360

Post by alphabettsy » Sun, Jan 05, 2020, 7:47 AM UTC

toasterlovin wrote: post #326

jpster wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Showing up is hard to do when housing policy explicitly forbids black people from living within a 2 hour commute of the few places that would hire them. And yes, the “progressive” Bay Area, too. For anyone who wonders why the Bay has so few black people - the house I live in on the Peninsula was built in 1948. And its original deed forbade “colored people” from living in it. This was eventually overturned, I believ…

FWIW, Asian immigrants, statistically speaking, basically all came well after the civil rights movement, and mostly came here without any wealth, which means they were also unable to participate in generational wealth accumulation. They also had a pretty fundamental disadvantage: they didn’t speak English. Any hypothesis that attempts to explain the plight of black Americans needs to also adequately provide for the i…

I don’t believe any reasonable person thinks that centuries of racial violence and discrimination evaporated overnight and all barriers disappeared for black people. Personally I don’t think it’s reasonable to think experiences or impacts would be the same across different groups of minorities given that many policies and actions were specifically targeted at and impacted black Americans.

That destruction had and continues to have a lasting impact.

There are many theories on why recent immigrants, including African’s, perform better than Black Americans. The psychological impact has been well documented and might help explain some differences in achievement compared to white Americans.