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Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

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Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#81

Post by memn0nis »

tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

Very interesting that your batch recognized that the emotional strength and stability was the important part, rather than the idea.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#82

Post by lisper »

tomhoward wrote: post #64
iliketosleep wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn't this just essentially just a reflection of maslow’s hierarchy of needs? I mean, everybody has their demons, and the founder of the billion dollar company has the time and resources to face those demons by receiving top quality professional assistance, leading him/her closer to some kind of self-actualization. Whereas a large majority of the population (even in developed nations) are still struggling on much low…

No. Emotional healing became my top priority when I was effectively broke and homeless. I mean, I was crashing at my parents and friends’ places, but it was a profoundly miserable (and low-Maslow) state of existence. Founders of break-out successful companies don’t just voluntarily embark on emotional healing practices once they reach the pinnacle of business success. They generally do that when they suffer a humilia…

There are a lot of rich people out there who have all of their Maslovian needs met but who are absolutely miserable. What happens is that they never really figured out what they wanted out of life, they just assumed that having money would allow them to get it, and they'd figure it out later. But then they get money, realize that they are still miserable (because they still don't really know what they want) and then sink into deep existential despair because if you have a billion dollars and you're still unhappy, now what the fuck do you do?

Ron's second law: the hardest part of getting what you want is figuring out what it is.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#83

Post by sylk »

pcurve wrote: post #80
ericmcer wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is difficult deciding if this is inspiring or discouraging. The way you describe the Airbnb founders it feels like they had some intrinsic ability or talent. I think I have always viewed failure as not working hard enough, or smart enough, almost getting there but just not quite getting it right. Reminders that you may be failing because you might just not have ‘it’, and that no amount of work will get you there a…

I think life is incredibly unfair, more so than people care to admit. Personality, disposition, early-childhood parenting, where you grow up, physical appearance, intelligence, family, surrounding, even country you're born all are determined outside your control. Yet these factors are what more or less determine how successful you are going to be. The way I look at it, if you're posting on HN, you've mostly likely be…

Interesting approach and I feel the burn of this quite often. Peers of mine have much greater hands dealt and I've worked quite hard to get where I'm at... I get bitter sometimes because theirs nothing I could have done to set up greater nets for myself or anything like that.

The disparity of equality and seeing the top after coming from the bottom makes you realize just how unequal things are and how it might just never change and get worse.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#84

Post by thdrdt »

jstummbillig wrote: post #50
thdrdt wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lately I listened to some talks of Jordan Peterson. There is a lot to say about his work but there is always a recurring theme: take time to think things through. And I believe in this time of constant distraction it is very hard to do this. But when you do you order your thoughts and it becomes much easier to communicate your thoughts.

Can you point to a specific text/video of his, that particularly and concisely addresses this point?

Here are some:

https://youtu.be/5WX9UEYZsR8

https://youtu.be/M5S6cTQRoU4

He talks mostly about goals in life but I believe the principles are the same.

Search keywords: jordan peterson goals

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#85

Post by Lucadg »

tomhoward wrote: post #40
Lucadg wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. Thanks for that. When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code. It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008). When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with. I just don't have what it takes to…

> I just don't have what it takes Try not to put yourself down like that; it might just be that you were already grounded and emotionally centred enough that you didn't need to chase the riches and fame :)

I guess you are right. I think my biggest block to success was that I was just to happy! :) The very reason I had started that business in 2001 was because I wanted to travel full time.

I managed to do that and I was already in a "too good to be true" state of mind.

The happiness and fulfillment I got from those years are now my own "essential oils" for the occasional hard times. When something goes wrong I just have to go back, smell a drop of that, and I'm back on my feet in no time.

I wasn't just looking to grow the business, it was a mean to an end.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#86

Post by Lucadg »

alfonsodev wrote: post #35
Lucadg wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. Thanks for that. When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code. It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008). When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with. I just don't have what it takes to…

Thanks for sharing this, if you don’t mind to elaborate, what aspects of personality do you think have more weight? Have you consider partnering with someone who complements those aspects?

I think we should not force ourselves to become something we are not.

If you've got the Unicorn CEO personality, go for it as it would be a pity to be stopped by fear.

If you don't have it, why chase the social norm of the day? You won't make it and you'll be miserable.

Again, not everyone has to be a CEO.

You can be great at something else but you need to be blind to the social requirements of your age.

What is cool today wasn't cool 20 years ago and won't be cool in 20 years time, anyway, understand this and you are free.

Maybe we will look back at the "be big or go home" days as a skewed approach to business fuelled by VCs need for high returns.

And yes, today I look for partners who can complete me, as I have millions ideas but I only enjoy the first part, where you go from 0 to 10, growth 10 to 1000 is boring for me and I'm not good at it.

BTW, if anyone is good at it, I have great ideas in the Vacation Rentals (Airbnb) market, my contacts are in the profile.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#87

Post by Lucadg »

cryptica wrote: post #46
Lucadg wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. Thanks for that. When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code. It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008). When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with. I just don't have what it takes to…

>> I just don't have what it takes to grow a business to those levels. Don't be too hard on yourself, not everyone has the necessary work ethic to succeed in this industry. The AirBnB guys are very smart and they have excellent business acumen. They had a vision and they created opportunities for themselves through hard work. Not everyone can be a winner.

I agree. In my case it's not ethics as I enjoy working hard, but as it gets less interesting and goes in growth phase I'm already chasing the next idea.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#88

Post by jimhi »

sjg007 wrote: post #53
tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

I always wonder if some place like YC could use a resident therapist/psychologist. Someone who meets with founders as needed or on a weekly basis. Might be helpful.. After watching the Showtime show "Billions", the idea seems like a pretty interesting innovation.

They had Amy who was a trained psychotherapist during both 2015 and 2017 when I went through. Anyone could schedule time to talk to her at anytime but it was generally used for resolving founder conflicts. She went off to be an executive coach but I am sure they still have someone like that.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#89

Post by majos »

cryptica wrote: post #34
jonnym1ll3r wrote: post #2

"Who are you willing to continue to become, even after you’ve accomplished some success? What are you willing to risk, to continue going in the direction that is calling you?" This is a really provocative and powerful post, you have a unique coaching perspective being grounded in somatic trauma therapy. As a fellow male (British) ex-startup founder I can certainly relate to being disconnected from my emotions. What a…

>> This is a really provocative and powerful post Agreed, success can be a lonely journey. That's why it's important to have the right kind of support. Courage is not something that comes from within, it comes from the confidence you gain as a result of feeling nurtured and supported by your peers. It's important to think of success not as a destination, but as a means to a more meaningful end. Because success gives…

I’m confused about how you can give this advice so generally. It seems like you are saying that financial success always indicates a good process and is always a good outcome for society.

At the risk of looking either naive or mean: is this parody?

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#90

Post by mattmanser »

spodek wrote: post #48
dd36 wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And what are those few exercises?

I haven't found writing them in internet forum conveys them effectively. It's like telling people how to play a scale or hit tennis ground strokes. You generally need some demonstration and practice, which most people forego. I wrote a couple up in my blog with examples and video to illustrate. Since the original post mentioned inner monologue, copying just the action from http://joshuaspodek.com/effective-self-aware…

He's got a book to sell after all, and done not ONE but TWO TEDx (not TED) talks.
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