Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

leowid.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 118 posts

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#31

Post by Lucadg »

tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

Wow. Thanks for that.

When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code.

It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008).

When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with.

I just don't have what it takes to grow a business to those levels.

In my case it's probably not an emotional issue, but it has still a lot to do with personality.

I guess my takeaway is: not everyone can be a CEO of a unicorn and this is fine.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#32

Post by woutr_be »

Roritharr wrote: post #4

"Learning to manage your focus, not your time" I'm a follower of this priority aswell. I can't tame the onslaught, but I can ensure that my focus is spent in the right places. I'd love to hear more about this topic as I often have issues communicating what I mean by that, as many other people in my environment want to see get things done "one after the other".

I would be interested to know more about this, because for me time isn’t the problem, it’s my lack of focus.

During my recent holiday, I took a different approach, and instead of telling myself to work on something from 9am to 12pm. I just woke up naturally and kinda did what I felt doing. Most days this was going to the gym in the morning, and then going to a coffee shop. I probably spend less time working on my project then I usually do, but I managed to complete so much more work, mostly because my time was extremely focussed and I wouldn’t drift off.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#33

Post by JacobAldridge »

tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

Thanks for sharing Tom. I enjoyed your recent LI post about some of the recent successes you’ve helped create in multiple businesses - it really seemed (with all the social media caveats) that you’ve been focused and continue to create enormous value around you.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#34

Post by cryptica »

jonnym1ll3r wrote: post #2

"Who are you willing to continue to become, even after you’ve accomplished some success? What are you willing to risk, to continue going in the direction that is calling you?" This is a really provocative and powerful post, you have a unique coaching perspective being grounded in somatic trauma therapy. As a fellow male (British) ex-startup founder I can certainly relate to being disconnected from my emotions. What a…

>> This is a really provocative and powerful post

Agreed, success can be a lonely journey. That's why it's important to have the right kind of support. Courage is not something that comes from within, it comes from the confidence you gain as a result of feeling nurtured and supported by your peers.

It's important to think of success not as a destination, but as a means to a more meaningful end. Because success gives you the necessary tools and momentum to drive even more positive change in the world. As a successful person who has proven the value of their skills, it's your duty to leverage your past successes to maximize the positive impact that you can have in the world through more successful ventures. It's important to not let that raw innate talent go to waste because it is a rare and precious resource for all of humanity.

You must keep pushing forward knowing that your success is directly correlated with the good of society. At times, it may not seem that way, but if you look at historical evidence, there is a strong correlation between wealth inequality and the well being of society as a whole. As a successful person, you are the product and a symbol of a healthy society and your duty is to continue on this never ending journey to inspire others and to drive positive change in the world.

The best way to help the rest of the world succeed is by furthering your own success.

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

You need to learn to trust the system which allowed you to succeed in the first place and rest assured that others who share this level of trust and commitment will also succeed.

If you're currently struggling to follow your inner voice and you feel like you need some guidance, don't hesitate to get in touch with me via private messages. My fees are reasonable.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#35

Post by alfonsodev »

Lucadg wrote: post #31
tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

Wow. Thanks for that. When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code. It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008). When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with. I just don't have what it takes to…

Thanks for sharing this, if you don’t mind to elaborate, what aspects of personality do you think have more weight? Have you consider partnering with someone who complements those aspects?

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#36

Post by iliketosleep »

LeonW wrote: post #29
tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

I'm touched by your vulnerability and openness. It reminds me of a client who had built a billion dollar company and wanted my help building his next one. My immediate sense was that that was not really why we were talking or why he was here. We kept going and eventually I challenged him asking whether he had really built a billion dollar fortress to never need to be vulnerable. He broke down and we went deep, uncove…

Isn't this just essentially just a reflection of maslow’s hierarchy of needs? I mean, everybody has their demons, and the founder of the billion dollar company has the time and resources to face those demons by receiving top quality professional assistance, leading him/her closer to some kind of self-actualization. Whereas a large majority of the population (even in developed nations) are still struggling on much lower levels of the hierarchy, such as fulfilling their "safety needs" (e.g. employment, health, etc).

I would therefore argue that the "untouched wounding" remains buried for most people because they are never in a position to address it, and the "ego-striving" remains essential part of their survival toolkit. There is simply no "salvation" in this regard for most people and it's quite sad.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#37

Post by spodek »

As a coach to similar-level people and professor/coach to elite students at NYU and Columbia Business School, I'm also impressed by how much the social and emotional challenges can be overcome with a few exercises that teach social and emotional skills.

It amazes me that our educational system at every level teaches so much information, knowledge, and analytical skill but virtually ignores teaching social and emotional skills, I guess because we can't test them in a way to stratify learners.

Most of my practice is leading clients and students through these exercises, which I call the basics or fundamentals of leadership, initiative, and entrepreneurship. In every other performance-based field we don't lecture and test but teach the basics and perform -- sports, acting, singing, musical instruments, the military (basic training).

A few exercises make master the following a matter of rehearsal and practice, not necessarily easy or fast, but straightforward and effective:

> The hardest of hard things to deal with for all these people (including myself, when I work with my own coach), no matter the level of success, is the perpetual, ever-recurring loop of mental chatter, difficult emotions and body sensations. To frame differently, it’s our capacity to be with what’s alive and right in front of us, whether we like that or not in any given moment.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#39

Post by tomhoward »

LeonW wrote: post #29
tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

I'm touched by your vulnerability and openness. It reminds me of a client who had built a billion dollar company and wanted my help building his next one. My immediate sense was that that was not really why we were talking or why he was here. We kept going and eventually I challenged him asking whether he had really built a billion dollar fortress to never need to be vulnerable. He broke down and we went deep, uncove…

Cheers for that.

> the untouched wounding eventually comes through and takes its toll if it stays unaddressed

This nails it, and I think a lot about this in the context of the very public cases of "unicorn" CEO falls-from-grace in recent years.

> That doesn't mean that we don't want to to continue having a meaningful contribution to the world, but the sense of ego-striving that is often just a mask for our wounds can gently fall away and allow us to walk through life a little more freely.

Very nicely put, many thanks.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#40

Post by tomhoward »

Lucadg wrote: post #31
tomhoward wrote: post #26

> “We’re all just big, complicated bags of emotion walking around.” This has been the most important discovery from my startup journey, and the topic on which I now place the greatest focus. I was in the YC batch of winter 2009 – the one that included Airbnb. It was a small batch, so we all got to know each other pretty well. There was something that really made the Airbnb founders stand out from the rest in that bat…

Wow. Thanks for that. When Airbnb popped up on my screen I was in Siberia having my website rewritten from scratch after 8 years of spaghetti code. It was the same thing and Airbnb which was just designed better (in 2008). When a couple of years later I finally realized they destroyed my business it took me some time to admit I didn't really miss a chance: I had none to begin with. I just don't have what it takes to…

> I just don't have what it takes

Try not to put yourself down like that; it might just be that you were already grounded and emotionally centred enough that you didn't need to chase the riches and fame :)

Post reply on HN