51–60 of 170 posts
I, on the other hand, suffer from Programmer's Disease. I can walk into a crowded room, approach someone and try to strike up a conversation and have the discussion killed in 3 minutes.
I try to improve. I really do. I think it's a gift we're born with.
I think the essential office chitchat issue is "being yourself" vs. "seeming like a high quality professional". I've found out the hard way that relaxing and aiming for a real conversation carries a high % chance of saying something unbecoming of a team leader. Better pay attention to appearances when you're at work. I don't understand coworkers who say silly things at the lunch table without a second thought, or tho…
> I don't understand coworkers who say silly things at the lunch table without a second thought I'm such a coworker. Two reasons I do this: 1. I don't care about "upward mobility". 2. People don't see me as a threat to theirs, which is a good thing, because you don't want an overly ambitious junior developer trying to prove his(or hers) worth by picking on you. Reason 0. is that weirdly enough it's good to appear som…
Wait long enough and you'll probably find younger people will do your job for cheaper, unless you can prove you're worth promoting. Some people can really stick it out, but usually by job security ("Larry is the only one who knows AIX and we can't replace it")
> 2. People don't see me as a threat to theirs
Eventually there will be layoffs, at which point you don't want to be the one guy that nobody wants around.
I know most people in tech seem to think they'll be employable forever, but it's an illusion.
Smalltalk is improv. It's yes... and. You take turns with the hot potato. You take your turn and then pass it. It's creating a story. Take whatever what was passed to you, add something quirky and then pass it back. It's fun to add something off the wall, a bit ridiculous. Doing this takes courage. You WILL make mistakes. At times, you may cringe at yourself. Putting yourself out there, taking small risks is the spic…
I think the essential office chitchat issue is "being yourself" vs. "seeming like a high quality professional". I've found out the hard way that relaxing and aiming for a real conversation carries a high % chance of saying something unbecoming of a team leader. Better pay attention to appearances when you're at work. I don't understand coworkers who say silly things at the lunch table without a second thought, or tho…
I'm done with that nonsense. I won't embarrass the company, insult clients, or create a hostile work environment but otherwise I'm not going to pretend that I left my personality in the car.
If you can't accept me then you don't deserve me. Fit that into your culture if you can.
I think the essential office chitchat issue is "being yourself" vs. "seeming like a high quality professional". I've found out the hard way that relaxing and aiming for a real conversation carries a high % chance of saying something unbecoming of a team leader. Better pay attention to appearances when you're at work. I don't understand coworkers who say silly things at the lunch table without a second thought, or tho…
I am rubbish at small talk. For one I'm not really that interested in other people, and secondly I find it really boring. As such, all jobs I've had as a permanent employee, I've found myself completely stymied when it came to career progression, despite always having very good performance reviews. It very clear to me, that the people who float to the top of organisations, don't do it via their work performance, but…
I used to think much like you do. But as I’ve moved into leadership positions I’ve changed my view entirely. That sharing a pint or two is important. To be able to coordinate a group of people to reach a goal, soft skills are absolutely vital. Humans aren’t machines - hacking humans is a different skill, and being good at it is rarer than good engineers imo. That’s why it pays well, and why you’ll never progress far…
"Comrades!" he cried. "You do not imagine, I hope, that we pigs are doing this in a spirit of selfishness and privilege? Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our sole object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proved by Science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig. We pigs are brainworkers. The whole management and organization of this farm depend on us. Day and night we are watching over your welfare. It is for YOUR sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples."
While this 'say what you see' served as a functional ice-breaker, as an introvert I found it strangely confrontational, almost like an interrogation. I felt like I was having to justify myself, as there was no obvious opening for a meaningful reply otherwise (simply saying 'yes' hardly cuts it). Of course, that was all on me, he had no idea I was reacting in such a way.
It can be quite a minefield. I worked with a guy whose chit-chat policy was disconcerting - stating the bleedin' obvious. "You are in early today!" "You are in late today!" "You are on time today!" "Wearing the red shirt again, I see!" "Got your hair cut!" While this 'say what you see' served as a functional ice-breaker, as an introvert I found it strangely confrontational, almost like an interrogation. I felt like I…
"Got a hair cut?" "Nope, I got all of them cut."
Topics I love to talk about but avoid, diet and exercise. Topics I avoid completely, politics.
Smalltalk is improv. It's yes... and. You take turns with the hot potato. You take your turn and then pass it. It's creating a story. Take whatever what was passed to you, add something quirky and then pass it back. It's fun to add something off the wall, a bit ridiculous. Doing this takes courage. You WILL make mistakes. At times, you may cringe at yourself. Putting yourself out there, taking small risks is the spic…
one reason I don't like working remote is that when I'm in the office, part of the time there... I'm being paid to do improv, to freakin' use my grade 8 drama skills!