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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#211

Post by jelliclesfarm »

thrav wrote: post #137
danenania wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

I feel like this notion of tossing things that are unpleasant is pervasive in California, in a way that it wasn’t where I grew up, in Texas. As you say, there is a lot of value in sticking with shit that can be really irritating, and hard. In Texas, they go too far the other way, and tolerate things for longer than they sometimes should. Funny how that tendency maps so well to the foundations of their politics (progr…

Interesting observation.

I think it’s true. My take on it: Mostly occurs because California is filled with people who come from somewhere else. It is filled with restless people who are goal oriented and need results to be filled with joy.

I think places with more rooted populations find their joy in people and not goals. They are not on the move. There is a certain personality that thinks..I am going to move cities, zip codes, countries, jobs ..in search of something better. Always something better than where I am now. They are never going to be happy with status quo for long..joy is always a moving target. That’s what makes them tick. That’s what makes them good at what they do. People are people.

I think this is what is supposed to be true diversity. Diverse personalities. I find diversity based on skin colour or language or gender etc are such shallow classifications. Considering that, I don’t think we have diversity at all..because birds of a feather flock together.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#212

Post by spieglt »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

For when you need to get your photos off of FB: https://github.com/spieglt/fb-photos. Hopefully makes it easier to get "Photos of me" which they don't include in your data export.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#213

Post by seppin »

jrockway wrote: post #136
whalesalad wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Twitter is particularly bad. I genuinely cannot find a single positive thing about it. It just feels like a big huge bitch-fest of one complaint and antagonist after another. Doesn’t matter the agenda, it’s pure negative energy. I’m so glad to have dismissed it.

Yeah, Twitter is really bad. Every discussion, no matter how trivial, devolves into a flame fest. I've told this story on HN before, but I was reading some minor controversy about Hearthstone esports and eventually the thread devolved into people threatening to kill each other. Over someone that made a dumb mistake in one of their games. It is crazy. I think some of us use a lot of electronic communication for work,…

Twitter, more so than Facebook even, is 100% dependent on who you follow. I choose academics, (good) journalists, etc. My feed is constantly enlightening, I learn something everyday, and there's no gossip or BS. Every time someone posts a selfie or some food they are eating, they are gone.

I love it.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#214

Post by thatfrenchguy »

CalRobert wrote: post #107
thatfrenchguy wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Careful about the “end of civilization”, global warming is the most important challenge of our generation but media outlet sensationalism exaggerate a lot of things (notably the clathrate gun and other things, which are not widely accepted). Read the last IPCC reports instead of randos from the internet: https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/

Thanks - my concern is that the IPCC reports appear to be too conservative, possibly not modeling feedback effects enough. We're tracking around the worst case scenarios presented in the 2015 report so far.

It is of course a valid concern, but reading those reports page-to-page don't show too much conservatism to me (as in, they expose how bad a situation we are in while being not-too-catastrophic).

You may also want to read the individual papers that are backing those reports, they're also super informative`.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#215

Post by sjg007 »

It is interesting to see the difference in the comments here vs those on the NYTimes. Here the focus is on digital minimalism. On the NYTimes they are focused on the article content which is the new SV model of appification applied to therapy or more generally self help.

I see these apps as new approaches to the traditional self help market but for a new generation. These are people like Tim Ferris who follow the traditional model of publishing a book, but now blogs, youtube, tweets etc... Then there are entrepreneurs making apps focused on journaling etc.., screening tools / lead generation.. which are trending towards, at best, finding someone a therapist.

Also the ACA opened up mental health resources payable by insurance so you also see health insurers developing web based tools as well. And you have the traditional therapists doing podcasts as well as video chat therapy etc... I personally find the podcasts valuable to help understand the theory. Still, in practice, it makes sense to see a human therapist, preferably one well trained to work through issues.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#216

Post by m_fayer »

whatshisface wrote: post #11
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

Trying to have the sorts of long lasting introspective unidirectional conversations needed to really work through things with your partner will either fail or screw up your relationship or both.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#217

Post by cortesoft »

taurath wrote: post #194
danenania wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

Joy and Happiness are fleeting emotions. If you felt them all the time for something, over just a little bit of time you would not.

Yeah, I feel like joy and happiness are side effects of a meaningful life, not the cause.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#218

Post by biztos »

okr wrote: post #202
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

When someone says, that everyone should go to therapy, my first question is: who pays the therapist? If everyone goes to one, then an insurance to cover the costs does not really make sense anymore.

Everyone should go to the dentist, and many insurance policies pay for that.

Insofar as it works, therapy is "preventive care" -- it should help you to live a healthier life, thus reducing your overall cost to the insurer.

This gets tricky when we consider the frequency and cost of therapy. If you go every week, and a session costs $200 (not unreasonable in much of the world) then it's probably only coverable in a single-payer, "healthcare-is-a-human-right" system, and even then only after building a pro-therapy consensus that might be difficult.

Because even if everyone should go to therapy, lots of people think they shouldn't.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#219

Post by amelius »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Yet here you are on HN.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#220

Post by biztos »

ryandrake wrote: post #105
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Unfortunately it could be a big deal because of the stigma. There are jobs that ask whether you have ever seen a psychologist and/or have ever had a mental health diagnosis, presumably to disqualify you. For example I believe the FAA asks for this information from pilots. I would guess any job that requires security clearance would also require you to disclose this information.

Do they really ask whether you've seen a psychologist or is it a psychiatrist?
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