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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#121

Post by ericmcer »

skizm wrote: post #37

Anxious tech workers can afford therapy. A lot of the rest of the working world is just as, if not more, anxious. Our entire lives, sans 4 weeks or so a year, are dedicated to doing stuff we don't really care about, but there is no alternative.

This was the main thing for me as well.

"tech employees who long ago fused their sense of self-worth to their work."

That could easily apply to any industry, just a reality of the world today that work consumes most of your time/energy, and most people are not entirely in love with your work. I have noticed recently that time off or vacation time makes working harder, like my brain realizes what life could be for an instant and rebels before getting back to the grind.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#122

Post by mindsetalex »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #52
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

No, they shouldn't. Don't seek treatment unless you need it. Anyone telling you otherwise is marketing.

It’s often hard to know if you need you need help, it’s why we go to a doctor for a checkup - it’s equally important to focus on your mental health as your physical health.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#123

Post by Bootwizard »

ipython wrote: post #116
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

The only problem with this point of view is that, effectively, you have painted a sort of target on your back. As you say, not everyone goes to therapy (even though they should). Therefore, there is still a stigma associated with those who do choose to go to therapy. That wouldn't be so bad, except there are consequences to going to therapy. Paperwork and records are generated. There are certain positions where you h…

I feel exactly the same way about DNA testing and therapy. I think is speaks more about our health industry in the US (assuming since it sounds like it) than to any personal issues with going to therapy or getting these DNA tests.

Why do we live in fear of our own healthcare system? It's truly upsetting for US citizens to fear getting professional medical help.

It's like if you got into a car accident and your car is totaled, but you try to fix it yourself and keep driving it around because you fear the repair costs.

We're all just broken cars afraid of going to the mechanic.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#124

Post by davidw »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Here's what keeps me on social media:

* YIMBY activism. Facebook especially is a great, low-friction way to get new people involved.

* FB can be a great way of sharing, say, photos of kids or activities or events with people who are... maybe a bit more peripheral than friends I see every day, but who I still find value in keeping in touch with.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#125

Post by mlthoughts2018 »

I have a hard time believing the issues bringing people to therapy have changed towards global crises and dictatorships and politics, in these company worker cohorts.

I think it’s really just that the employers treat workers badly and don’t pay them enough to escape personal life anxieties in the super expensive urban areas they are requires to live in for these jobs.

Bait & switch jobs, stalled out career progress, salaries that seem high on paper but don’t go far at all, insane open-plan offices whipping up anxieties all day every day, disallowed to pursue good craftsmanship.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#126

Post by [deleted] »

jonfw wrote: post #117
danenania wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…

> “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” The key here is to have a long-term view of this. Obviously this doesn't mean to disown your relationships with anybody who didn't bring you joy this week, but you should look at the history of the relationship, and how you think the relationship will be in the future, and decide whether or not the relationship is really a value add in your l…

[deleted]

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#127

Post by tempsy »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Personally my issue with my work in tech is the cognitive dissonance between the collective belief that we’re all “changing the world” and the reality that most of us are doing very little to do that and/or that deep down we actually believe that the company we are working for actually has a net negative effect on the world.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#128

Post by BeetleB »

non-entity wrote: post #18
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

Things changed once someone pointed out to me that almost everyone has problems of similar or greater magnitude as mine, but most of them are not sad/unhappy/depressed.

Well, OK - that realization didn't make my problems go away, but it did set me down a path.

As others have already said, the role of a therapist isn't to solve those problems you have in your life. They might be able to help you not get mentally affected by those problems, though.

When I found out my insurance included therapy, I said "Heck, why not?" Had only 3 sessions with him. The outcome?

I learned that my problems are not severe enough to warrant serious therapy (based on a heuristic they use). That's not to say I shouldn't feel bad about them or anything, but to highlight that yes, people have ups and downs, and I may have just a few more downs than the median, but I'm not far from the median.

The problems I was dealing with had solutions. He outlined a few options to me and recommended some books. I picked one of the options and started reading those books (frankly, I was interested in the topic anyway).

Knowing that my problems were ultimately due to the lack of a few (learnable) skills makes a big difference. And now I can see people around me who have similar issues - some who think they've got serious psychological problems - and their internal mental torment is rather sad.

Agree with what others have said: Plenty of crappy therapists out there. I seem to have been lucky with mine.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#129

Post by chrisnaoumidis »

Bootwizard wrote: post #112
chrisnaoumidis wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd love to read it when you've finished it! Approaching it from changing mental models, perspectives and learning new skills is how we view mental health issues management/prevention. If you're interested in this angle, you should try out one of our sessions at Mindset. It'd be really great to hear what you think of them.

I'm not a writer so I'll let you know when it happens. It may be years from now, but I'm steadily working on it! :) I'll check out Mindset, thanks. (I couldn't find it on google, send a link if you don't mind)

I'll be waiting!

It's only on the Apple App Store at the moment, if you search Mindset on the App Store it will be the first non-ad app.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#130

Post by BeetleB »

ghaff wrote: post #61
eeZah7Ux wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it a 6 hours session for that insane amount of money?

You go realize that’s a pretty run of the mill rate for senior lawyers, consultants, and other well-paid professionals?

For a psychiatrist (MD), I suppose it's a typical rate. I can't speak for the commenter, but when I was younger everyone (including my psychology professor who was also a therapist) suggested prioritizing a therapist unless medication is needed (for which only a psychiatrist can prescribe). The claim was psychiatrists were trained to have a bias in favor of medication.

And therapists will not charge crazy rates. You'll get plenty of good ones for half that cost.

No idea if still true.

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