Anxious tech workers are going to therapy • Hacker News Board

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#41

Post by wry_discontent » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:43 PM UTC

webwielder2 wrote: post #12

crsmithdev wrote: post #9

Shocked that a normal and healthy practice that should be done more by more and different kinds of people is big news to the NYT, because tech. Watching the NYT (and others) from within tech over the past few years has done more to destroy any trust in mass media than anything else in my lifetime.

The NYT banging the Iraq war drum back in 2002-03 was enough for me to develop terminal cynicism about that particular august institution.

The NYT is one of the primary targets of Manufacturing Consent. That book changed how I see the media. I still read NYT pretty regularly, but I definitely see it differently.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#42

Post by filmgirlcw » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:46 PM UTC

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

This. It isn’t a tech worker thing, it’s a human thing. The $400 I spend for a single session with my psychiatrist (he’s the rare MD who also does and is excellent at therapy — when he retires I’m seriously not sure what I’m going to do) is the best money I spend each month.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#43

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:46 PM UTC

CalRobert wrote: post #33

Every minute spent not fighting climate apocalypse is a fucking waste of time. And I waste most of my time, because I can't find a way to fight while staying solvent (this month I'm buying a roof to fix the leaky one, for instance). In another thread the clathrate gun is about to go off big time https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21026051 Anxiety is pretty warranted when you're literally looking at the end of civil…

[deleted]

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#44

Post by martin_a » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:47 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Wise words. I wish I had read and thought about things like his, before I got my heavy depressions being not even 30 years old.

Thought I had already experienced bad times but nothing came close to that half year of what is called "Burn Out". Wouldn't wish that to my worst enemy.

People, take good care of yourself, OP is totally right.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#45

Post by tryitnow » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:48 PM UTC

non-entity wrote: post #18

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

I just don't see anything they can do to help. Most of my issues are rooted in mistakes I made and many have concrete origins that aren't something a therapist will fix.

I don't think the goal is fix past things in the past - you'd need a time machine for that.

Rather therapists help you not make the same mistake again.

A lot of humans think "But I'll never make that mistake again!"

But then they do. We're just not evolved to live in modern environments, so our brains and nervous systems lead us to do silly things.

Therapists help reduce the likelihood that you keep making the same mistakes. And they provide techniques to mitigate the risks arising from new types of mistakes you might make.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#46

Post by ok_coo » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:48 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

Welcome to freedom my friend. The only social apps I’ve kept are Snapchat for family and Reddit for gaming stuff.

It’s been really eye opening to me how much better I feel after deleting my Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#47

Post by eeZah7Ux » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:49 PM UTC

filmgirlcw wrote: post #42

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

This. It isn’t a tech worker thing, it’s a human thing. The $400 I spend for a single session with my psychiatrist (he’s the rare MD who also does and is excellent at therapy — when he retires I’m seriously not sure what I’m going to do) is the best money I spend each month.

Is it a 6 hours session for that insane amount of money?

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#48

Post by BurningFrog » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:50 PM UTC

whatshisface wrote: post #11

vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

For lonely people, it's much easier to get a therapist than a spouse.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#49

Post by whalesalad » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:50 PM UTC

tannhaeuser wrote: post #2

Ok do we really need to post every single NYT article on HN? Right now, there are 3 or more nytimes.com articles under news.

Heh. They’re definitely a content farm these days. You’re not wrong.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#50

Post by geddy » Fri, Sep 20, 2019, 2:51 PM UTC

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

> I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change

Yes, this is exactly it! Perfectly summarized my day-to-day after doing everything you listed on that first paragraph. Hackernews a few times a day at most for no more than 5 minutes at a time is all the social media for me.

Not seeing a therapist or anything but my outdoor activities are therapy for me personally, in their own way. Started riding my motorcycle again. Just generally treating myself better, spending tons of time working out and having way more energy, and more time to explore ideas and trying things.

The last distraction I still have is my phone, which goes on airplane mode for a good chunk of the day. Do Not Disturb mode for the rest. I'm done with it all.

20 years ago no one would have ever stood for all the shit distractions that bombard us constantly today. People called and texted... and waited hours and sometimes days for a reply, if they got it at all.

On that subject, the only way to break the expectation that are "always available" is... to not be always available. Just turn that shit off. Don't reply unless you absolutely have to.

It's liberating.