I can empathize with most of this, but I can't say I understand the "last straw" bit. How is there anything wrong with DanielK's request?
I don't know how quickly Gordon put up the deb file he mentioned, but just going on Pi's release I'd call it very quickly. A week or two later is more suited to an enquiry of "Glad to see pi 4 support so fast, any idea when you might get chance to put up source code?" than "hey you're REQUIRED man, get on with it already...". Better still quietly not enquiring already but just quietly checking github over the coming weeks.