Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help. • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#61

Post by frankus » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 9:37 PM UTC

Joel Spolsky has a great piece on doing a self-funded sabbatical:

http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000076.html

If you can swing it financially, that's probably a really good place to start. Get out of California for a while. You're quite correct in that it's different from the rest of the US, in some ways better and in some ways worse. You're (I'm assuming) legally entitled to work anywhere in the US, so consider taking advantage of that.

Finally, I think the whole "finding something you're passionate about" thing is largely bullshit. This article:

http://calnewport.com/blog/2009/11/24/are-passions-serendipi...

lays it out much more eloquently than I could. If you can get really good at one or two things that you don't hate you'll start to see interesting work in those fields come your way.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#62

Post by marze » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 9:37 PM UTC

You needn't make any irrevocable decisions immediately, obviously. Three things that could help that come to mind are to try new things, a short vacation, and lots of time outdoors. Like this:

Take three weeks off over the holidays and spend it hiking in New Zealand and swimming in the ocean. Eat new food, meet new people, but stay outdoors as much as possible.

Although you say you don't thing you are suffering from depression or burnout, it is possible you are in a mild sort of way. Exercise, sun, and healthy food could all help if that were the case, making it easier to make good decisions upon your return.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#63

Post by marquis » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 10:04 PM UTC

groaner wrote: post #52

marquis wrote: post #8

Wow, what an opportunity. The world is yours - may I recommend that you travel? Travel cheap, see the world. Find your passion. Don't worry about what you are going to do in the future, you have so much time to build a life/lives. Concrete examples? Volunteer, either near home or internationally (though don't get stuck in a 'paid' volunteer system, just pay for your own travel but don't get charged to work anywhere a…

I've thought long and hard about this. I really do want to do this, but I don't know if I can pull it off. I'm afraid that I'll wind up like Antoine Roquentin from Sartre's Nausea -- a long world tour followed by disappointment and existential crisis.

I love the reference, and don't forget Candide... something I tell my friends who are a little hesitant to start off: remember that whatever you are leaving behind you can come back to, and regardless of what happens you'll have stories to come back with.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#64

Post by marquis » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 10:07 PM UTC

bugsy wrote: post #25

Figure out what sort of looks and cultural qualities you like in a wife/girlfriend. Travel to that country and live there for a couple months staying in hostels or couch surfing. Meet girls. Extend the 2 months as long as needed, switching countries if there are issues. Marry foreign girl. Stay in her country where you now have a spouse visa. Start new life. The reason for this advice is because you said "I'm sick of…

May I comment, that it's disingenuous to travel for the purpose of looking for a life partner? For all you know, you'll have met the partner of your dreams at the bar down the road after you get back from your travels, because you are full of stories and invigoration.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#65

Post by guylhem » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 10:08 PM UTC

groaner wrote: post #44

guylhem wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Doing is easy. Finding out what you want to do is not - at least not for me. It also seems you are self-deprecating. You must have some value - you were not paid for doing nothing! But maybe what was found valuable in you by corporate america differs from what you define as a value. Have you tried reading philosophy? It helped me. If philosophy is not your thing you can try more accessible literature. My biased sugge…

Thanks. I just finished the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius not too long ago, and it was sobering but refreshing.

I'd rather suggest Nietszche or Atlas Shrugged because they are better remedies against actual nihilism IMHO. But whatever you read, if you find some value in it - keep going !

Try lesswrong and transhumanist websites if that's your thing. Or anything else - it's your tastes that matters.

As many others pointed in the thread, anomie is best fought if you create your own meaning. To me, this meant defining my own values first.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#66

Post by bugsy » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 10:16 PM UTC

marquis wrote: post #64

bugsy wrote: post #25

Figure out what sort of looks and cultural qualities you like in a wife/girlfriend. Travel to that country and live there for a couple months staying in hostels or couch surfing. Meet girls. Extend the 2 months as long as needed, switching countries if there are issues. Marry foreign girl. Stay in her country where you now have a spouse visa. Start new life. The reason for this advice is because you said "I'm sick of…

May I comment, that it's disingenuous to travel for the purpose of looking for a life partner? For all you know, you'll have met the partner of your dreams at the bar down the road after you get back from your travels, because you are full of stories and invigoration.

This is advice specific to his particular situation. His comments about a particular style of corporate bureaucracy indicate a mismatch between his temperament and that culture. But he doesn't want to work for himself. This means a long term move to a different culture is in order. To make that permanent if desired, foreign marriage is a good way to obtain the permanent right to work overseas. It is much more difficult for US citizens with tech skills to emigrate to other countries than is the reverse, but marriage bypasses all of that. The advice on personalities is because otherwise he will either go for a random choice that will be a bad match or foolishly pick someone of similar temperament, which in his INTJ case will doom both of them.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#67

Post by groaner » Fri, Dec 10, 2010, 10:21 PM UTC

bugsy wrote: post #66

marquis wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

May I comment, that it's disingenuous to travel for the purpose of looking for a life partner? For all you know, you'll have met the partner of your dreams at the bar down the road after you get back from your travels, because you are full of stories and invigoration.

This is advice specific to his particular situation. His comments about a particular style of corporate bureaucracy indicate a mismatch between his temperament and that culture. But he doesn't want to work for himself. This means a long term move to a different culture is in order. To make that permanent if desired, foreign marriage is a good way to obtain the permanent right to work overseas. It is much more difficu…

For the record, I never said I didn't want to work for myself, just that I wasn't ready to start my own company. And I don't think corporate culture is unique to the US, despite my phrasing as "corporate America."

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#68

Post by groaner » Sat, Dec 11, 2010, 12:44 AM UTC

marquis wrote: post #63

groaner wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've thought long and hard about this. I really do want to do this, but I don't know if I can pull it off. I'm afraid that I'll wind up like Antoine Roquentin from Sartre's Nausea -- a long world tour followed by disappointment and existential crisis.

I love the reference, and don't forget Candide... something I tell my friends who are a little hesitant to start off: remember that whatever you are leaving behind you can come back to, and regardless of what happens you'll have stories to come back with.

Thanks for the Candide recommendation. I've had it on my reading list for a while but I'm picking it up on my next library trip.

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#69

Post by marquis » Sat, Dec 11, 2010, 1:34 AM UTC

bugsy wrote: post #66

marquis wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

May I comment, that it's disingenuous to travel for the purpose of looking for a life partner? For all you know, you'll have met the partner of your dreams at the bar down the road after you get back from your travels, because you are full of stories and invigoration.

This is advice specific to his particular situation. His comments about a particular style of corporate bureaucracy indicate a mismatch between his temperament and that culture. But he doesn't want to work for himself. This means a long term move to a different culture is in order. To make that permanent if desired, foreign marriage is a good way to obtain the permanent right to work overseas. It is much more difficu…

I'm really in shock by your comment about using relationships between human beings so blithely, and I'm afraid it shows a naivete about how world immigration works. Many other places are not more difficult to immigrate to, I use the Working Holiday as an example as a way to get your foot in the door.

Want to move to the Netherlands? As a U.S. citizen apply to the Friendship Program, prove you can support yourself for 5 years and get residency.

Want to move to Mexico? Show them you have $1000 in your account every month and get residency.

Want to spend a year in Australia, New Zealand? Working holiday visa for US citizen under 30. (more options if you're not from the U.S.).

Want to spend a year or more in Europe? Apply for a research or arts visa.

Some people do not live their lives looking for a wife (or husband in my case) and to suggest to a 24 year old that he find the perfect fit as if he were buying a Filipino wife from a catalog who also likes dogs and long walks on the beach is irresponsible.

(Oh, and want to move to the U.S.? Good luck doing that as easily as any of the ways mentioned above)

Re: Ask HN: Finally have loose change and spare time, but no sense of purpose. Help.

#70

Post by bugsy » Sat, Dec 11, 2010, 3:56 AM UTC

marquis wrote: post #69

bugsy wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is advice specific to his particular situation. His comments about a particular style of corporate bureaucracy indicate a mismatch between his temperament and that culture. But he doesn't want to work for himself. This means a long term move to a different culture is in order. To make that permanent if desired, foreign marriage is a good way to obtain the permanent right to work overseas. It is much more difficu…

I'm really in shock by your comment about using relationships between human beings so blithely, and I'm afraid it shows a naivete about how world immigration works. Many other places are not more difficult to immigrate to, I use the Working Holiday as an example as a way to get your foot in the door. Want to move to the Netherlands? As a U.S. citizen apply to the Friendship Program, prove you can support yourself for…

You are very defensive about this. It is not advice to you or anyone else here other than the OP, and it's advice specifically based on what he mentioned. He is introverted and an engineer, dissatisfied with his culture. He has done travel but not gotten much enjoyment from it. My recommendation is to move to another culture and resettle there. I also have advise for him to get involved in a relationship, which will really help with his life enjoyment if he picks someone the exact opposite on the personality spectrum, especially given his type which is prone towards holing up and doing research or engineering.

Since he will be moving to another culture this means his most available girlfriends will be someone overseas. Should this lead to marriage it then becomes a good way to remain in the culture.

It has nothing to do with mail order brides or race betrayal or whatever you are freaking out about. It has to do with a complete package of advice for this one person and his circumstance. It is not meant to apply to you or to people in general.