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The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

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61–70 of 220 posts

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#61
post #54
post #33

What annoys me is that the article talks about a "problem of a sexualized environment", but the [post]( http://blog.nerdchic.net/archives/418/ ) that is being refered to describes things like this: > I lay across the bed, sat on laps, generally tried to squish in to any available space and get time to talk to all the fabulous people thronging the place. [...] I had a few drinks. I was wearing a skirt of such a length…

Yes... and there was not necessarily anything wrong with making a pass at her (i.e. taking her aside and going for a kiss etc, although it's hardly well executed it is harmless and she clearly views it that way) But when rebuffed you don't then feel her up . There is a line to be crossed; she brought the passes on herself to be sure, but not the assault. (EDIT: the replies to this make it clear my point got a bit twi…

Going for a kiss when someone has made no sign that they're in to you? When there are no signals that this is perhaps fine? No that's not cool!

Brought the passes on herself? No. You can flirt with someone, if they don't reciprocate, it's not cool. First move = kiss is not flirting, it's massively inappropriate.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#62

As a general rule: Don't shit where you eat. Some of the incident she describe are legit sexual harassment and others are a male trying to pick up a lady. Don't do that ever where you work or have important business to attend[your technique maybe lacking]. I Genuinely think this is not really a Geek problem. There is statistically large number of people with sexual deviation. For instance, it is estimated that betwee…

None of the incidents described carry any hint of sexual deviancy. The worst of them are "just" cases of someone making unwanted sexual advances - being (way) too quick to go beyond flirting and too slow to back off.

This can be due to a lack of respect for women in general, but also due to a mix of social ineptness and sheer desparation. And you can't tell me the latter is not statistically more likely to occur in geeks.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#63
post #3

While I'm pleased to see this article on HN, is it appropriate to use a "subscriber link" in a public forum like HN?

Yes, that is exactly the purpose of LWN's subscriber links. It lets subscribers share content with non-subscribers in a "controlled" manner, which I guess means LWN can track usage and so on. I think it's awesome; thanks for sharing, rythie.

See their FAQ: http://lwn.net/op/FAQ.lwn#slinks.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#64
post #37
post #33

What annoys me is that the article talks about a "problem of a sexualized environment", but the [post]( http://blog.nerdchic.net/archives/418/ ) that is being refered to describes things like this: > I lay across the bed, sat on laps, generally tried to squish in to any available space and get time to talk to all the fabulous people thronging the place. [...] I had a few drinks. I was wearing a skirt of such a length…

Flirting isn't professional when it's at an after hours party? How else should one signal that they're available and interested?

Signalling such things is, in fact, not professional. Of course, neither are most after-hours parties...

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#65
post #33

What annoys me is that the article talks about a "problem of a sexualized environment", but the [post]( http://blog.nerdchic.net/archives/418/ ) that is being refered to describes things like this: > I lay across the bed, sat on laps, generally tried to squish in to any available space and get time to talk to all the fabulous people thronging the place. [...] I had a few drinks. I was wearing a skirt of such a length…

Unprofessional women still shouldn't be groped. And it's a (rather informal) after-hours even after a (rather informal) conference...

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#66
post #12

I couldn't get over how powerful the message was when presented in clear technical language. By articulating the problem in a simple factual manner and offering specific concrete solutions, some of which are already under way, she makes it impossible to dismiss her concerns. The medium is the message I suppose. I wonder if this style, applied to this issue, is powerful only for technical people, or it it would be equ…

I found this SO much more helpful than other essays and blog posts on harassment I have seen lately (and I've been looking around a lot). I think we can relate to this better because we share some mental and social structures with the writer. Its a lot easier to relate to her though patterns, and the suggestions seem both desirable and realistic.

I doubt other groups would find this so compelling, because a lot of intelligent, engaged, perceptive people have been writing about this for a long time and I've never seen something like this from a non-technical writer.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Sounds like people need to be more willing to stand up for themselves and their friends Potentially "being different" in addition to standing up and out can be a daunting prospect. There's a lot of perceived social risk in such situations.

>Potentially "being different" in addition to standing up and out can be a daunting prospect. This is laughable considering how much talk there is in the hacker world of defying convention, challenging conventional wisdom, standing out from the crowd, changing the world and associated platitudes.

Talk is cheap, though.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#69
post #62

As a general rule: Don't shit where you eat. Some of the incident she describe are legit sexual harassment and others are a male trying to pick up a lady. Don't do that ever where you work or have important business to attend[your technique maybe lacking]. I Genuinely think this is not really a Geek problem. There is statistically large number of people with sexual deviation. For instance, it is estimated that betwee…

None of the incidents described carry any hint of sexual deviancy. The worst of them are "just" cases of someone making unwanted sexual advances - being (way) too quick to go beyond flirting and too slow to back off. This can be due to a lack of respect for women in general, but also due to a mix of social ineptness and sheer desparation. And you can't tell me the latter is not statistically more likely to occur in g…

I think the my first paragraph pointed that out that there are two types of things happening here. One guys aren't aware that they over steps some bounds.

But putting your hand down a females underwear and hitting someone's bum unexpectedly. Normal people don't do that.

Re: The dark side of open source conferences [about women being harassed]

#70
post #3

While I'm pleased to see this article on HN, is it appropriate to use a "subscriber link" in a public forum like HN?

It's apparently pretty common - you can also find them on e.g. reddit. I don't think they'd mind, or they could just limit to, say, 100 clicks.
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