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Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
171–180 of 248 posts
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#172My best friend told me re: having to pee at night "you just gotta go man otherwise you will just lay there and suffer" since that day I've not had a full nights sleep. I'll never forgive him.
I don't know if this allegory for chasing your dreams or not but I like it.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#173Close call: My dad (a college prof) saying to me (when I was 17) that computers were a dead end and that I should do something else. I ignored his advice. I've had a fantastic career and shipped a bunch of different products. 30 years later, he apologized to me.
Similar scenario -- though I admit, a lot of what I was doing on the computer during those years was probably 'deadend'. A lot of my formative years were spent digging into MUDs, building computers & just random nerdery as a whole.
Despite a lot of it simply consisting of mucking around, a lot of generic information and knowledge stuck consistently. Despite being told frequently I was 'wasting my life away', in the process I was slowly sponging in information that would later assist me in launching a startup that nowadays employs even my father. :)
I do wish that early on my parents were more supportive of my passions and interests, and it's a mistake I hope not to make with my own children. When you see passion in someone, be it with any topic, it shouldn't matter whether or not it's something that can generate financial stability. These days with the sheer size of the internet -- there's a market (rule 34 I think ;)).
Do what you love, find interesting ways to fuel others with your passion and you can make just about anything pay the rent.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#174I'm not exactly sure how to word it, and I'm not aware of a single source who advised me on it, but it seems like there's a pervasive feeling in society that "If I want to learn something, I need a teacher." I outgrew this mental model around 14, and now in college I feel so much further ahead of many of my peers who are lucky to have taken a HS programming course once before choosing a programming degree. I wish I h…
A related assumption is that the best way to learn is through classes or lectures. I can learn faster by reading, experimenting, and asking questions when I'm stuck. Forums are your friend.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#175I'm not exactly sure how to word it, and I'm not aware of a single source who advised me on it, but it seems like there's a pervasive feeling in society that "If I want to learn something, I need a teacher." I outgrew this mental model around 14, and now in college I feel so much further ahead of many of my peers who are lucky to have taken a HS programming course once before choosing a programming degree. I wish I h…
True, being able to teach yourself is a hugely valuable skill. But I think you also shouldn't underestimate the value of a mentor (as in someone to guide your self teaching) - I've been teaching myself guitar for years and finally got around to getting some lessons. It's been an eye opener seeing the obvious things I missed by just relying on myself.
Agreed. You don't know what you don't know. A mentor can help you learn the topics in the most effective order, offer suggestions that you wouldn't otherwise find, and motivate you on your bad days.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#176"You're smart." It took me five years of coasting on that presumption before I realized that being "smart" isn't nearly enough. I'm still working (after a few more years) to develop the habits that would have come from hearing "you're a hard worker."
Man, I have to second that one. Growing up smart in a small town is great until you leave - which is inevitable.
The internet really helps with that, by expanding your world to include some people who are just dazzlingly brilliant, and remind you how far you have to go. This guy, for example:
The nice thing about this kind of ego-shrinking is that it's combined with inspiration to do something about it, rather than just feeling deflated. There's so much interesting stuff out there.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#177Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit, thus the advice that comes from colleagues along the lines of "don't do the homework, it's really a waste of time" when everybody is actually doing it, could screw you over. It didn't mess up my life per se, but definitely had an impact on my grades when I was a naive freshman.
> Everybody in college pretends to be not working hard as they like to admit
My experience was the exact opposite. People liked to compete to see who had the most coursework to do. People would complain about having to pull all nighters, but still spend hours on youtube or facebook beforehand. Some people were genuinely overwhelmed with work, but it was never downplayed as far as I could tell.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#178"don't try too hard"
I used to be a star student/great work ethic. then i figured that i was working too hard thanks to this advise and my work ethic became horrible and i am struggling to keep my grades. always work at full capacity. itll get you places in life
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#179I was never told this, but I know it is said, and said often that "you can be whatever you want". I don't believe that, nor do I think it's healthy for children to be told it because it's flat out not true.
I think you miss the point in that expression. It isn't advice, nor is it literal. They are words of encouragement, of optimism and hope. I don't even think kids understand what it means.
Re: Ask HN: What advice messed up your life?
#180"I want you to hit me as hard as you can." A whole downward spiral started from there. Until I hit bottom. :-D