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The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

nytimes.com

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Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#101

Post by kamaal »

spyckie2 wrote: post #95
sametmax wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your testimony reminds me of a kid I met in Mali. The guy was our guide, and he spoke 6 languages, including 4 local dialects, french and english. He had a cellphone and knew how to drive a 4x4. He drove us to the desert, in a place at the north of Bamako known as the Dogon's country. There, he asked us if we were ok to take a detour by his parents village, and we agreed. His parents were living with no electricity,…

When Asian parents says, don't get a literature degree, become a doctor, they have a good reason to say it. It's not necessarily this bad in terms of standard of living (the above description would be subsistence levels, maybe less than 200$ a year), but the median household income in China is about $12-15k US a year compared to $56k in the US. And it's not that in China everything is cheaper so 12-15k goes a long wa…

The term you are looking for is called Abundance.

A few days back I was discussing this with my friend who immigrated to the US and settled there. I'm an Indian. We were discussing how his wife and kids, who are Americans just do not understand his perspective of things from a living standards stand point. The thing is sometimes its impossible to erase the effect poverty has on you. When you go through tough times, your benchmarks to save and invest get set based on the worst times your life has seen.

And then that spills over to every purchase or life style decision you will ever make. Be it clothes to car or whatever.

In India I've seen people who have been born in well off families a generation early just fail to understand why the people who have just come out of lower middle class/poverty don't take vacations, or don't buy expensive sneakers or gadgets or even dine at good restaurants.

When I worked in the US, I used to be totally floored at the amount of opportunities and abundance of every thing the country had to offered. To me most of the complaints US citizens had looked like cry me a river themed whining. Eventually I realized every one just get seasoned to whatever they have and that sort of becomes their new reality over time.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#102

Post by godzilla82 »

User23 wrote: post #15
obulpathi wrote: post #9

I came to US about 10 years ago. Finished my PhD and spent about 4 years in Software Industry. Saved some money. US has taught me a lot about entrepreneurship and software. Now moving to India for good to work on my own startup, spend more time with my hobbies and to stay close with my parents who are in their 60's. It took me more than an year to convince my parents (hardest to convince was my Mom) and my Wife. Look…

It’s the right decision. You will be able to take what you learned home and create wealth for thousands, if not more. India is going to surpass China in the next century.

What is with this constant obsession with surpassing China. This is just so stupid.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#103

Post by Majestic121 »

User23 wrote: post #60
lovelearning wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

India is going to surpass China in the next century. Just curious, but this statement surprised me. Surpass in what ways? GDP? Per capita income? Standard of living? Population? Level of honesty? Level of corruption? Level of transparency? Any studies you can recommend that reach these conclusions?

We all know that diversity drives positive economic outcomes. India is by far the most diverse large country on the planet. That combined with her diaspora to the west and the consequent knowledge transfer, in addition to not being a major strategic rival to the USA, adds up to an extremely positive medium to long term outlook. Yes there are major problems with corruption, it's true, but there are major problems with…

Do you have sources about diversity driving positive economic income ?

It seems to go without saying for you, but it's not that natural for me. There are several examples of very homogeneous countries, such as Japan or Korea, doing economical prowess.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#104

Post by kaptain »

fivecents wrote: post #66

I can't help but think... wouldn't the average Chinese be much better off if the current Taiwanese gov. still ruled China? I mean, look at Taiwan... it has nothing (no land, no diplomatic ties, etc). Yet it has a lot (decent economy for avg. joe, democracy, etc). Compare this to the current PRC: - cultural revolution wiped out most of the smart people - centries of wrong economic policy (until pretty recent radical c…

Your nick is wumao 五毛. Ironic.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#105

Post by kilburn »

wozniacki wrote: post #98
B1FF_PSUVM wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> a modern, 1st world mindset, Yours was a valuable testimony. Let me just comment on one aspect of the mindset bit. Class, as you noted, still very much exists, but modern day aristocrats don't expose themselves to snipers as they did two or three centuries ago. Instead we get celebrities and players and self-made rich critters out there to catch the limelight and flak. And family, the key base to aristocratic wealt…

Instead we get celebrities and players and self-made rich critters out there to catch the limelight and flak. And family, the key base to aristocratic wealth and power, is played down as unnecessary, because a meritocratic system needs no more than individual prowess to succeed. Terrific observation! Although I think I get what you mean by this I'd love for you to expand on it. I'm sure you have dwelled as I have and…

> Were aristocratic families the object of scorn back then? All the attention they received from society eventually led to bad stuff? Bad actors?

Not scorn, but definitely resentment. Worst case for that aristocracy was... the french revolution ;)

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#106

Post by pm90 »

Retric wrote: post #99
coldtea wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People look at the recent actions of the PRC while ignoring the vast past economic harm 1949-1960. Set your house on fire and the rebuilding process looks like real progress. Sure, but when the house becomes the #2 most expensive property on the planet (and poised to #1), it's not a rebuilding success comparative the previous burn anymore. Especially if before the fire the house was in poor condition to begin with.

#2 is kind of meaningless when they are the #1 largest country by population and most countries are tiny by comparison. It’s like comparing the value of houses when one has as much land as Texas and you include that in the ‘house’ price. In nominal terms they are 72 per person adjust for PPP and they are #79 which which not bad. It’s the next 30 years when things get interesting. http://statisticstimes.com/economy/co…

Wait, so it’s a bad thing that they have more people? How does it make them any less powerful?

PPP is metric, good for comparing certain things. I wouldn’t think that, for the purposes of determining which is the greater power, less population would be more beneficial as long as the total economic output is greater.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#107

Post by [deleted] »

kilburn wrote: post #105
wozniacki wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Instead we get celebrities and players and self-made rich critters out there to catch the limelight and flak. And family, the key base to aristocratic wealth and power, is played down as unnecessary, because a meritocratic system needs no more than individual prowess to succeed. Terrific observation! Although I think I get what you mean by this I'd love for you to expand on it. I'm sure you have dwelled as I have and…

> Were aristocratic families the object of scorn back then? All the attention they received from society eventually led to bad stuff? Bad actors? Not scorn, but definitely resentment. Worst case for that aristocracy was... the french revolution ;)

[deleted]

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#108

Post by pm90 »

dleslie wrote: post #13
40acres wrote: post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

I've made a career of chasing other people's dreams: I look for opportunities at well-funded or well-positioned small companies and insert myself into the opportunity to help others achieve their dreams. It's fun, and sometimes it's fortuitous, but most of the time it just pays the bills and keeps my life interesting. The key is that it pays the bills and remains interesting. If I were to chase my own entrepreneurial…

The people that made the most money in the California gold rush were the ones that sold equipment and clothing to the gold prospectors.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#109

Post by geomark »

romanovcode wrote: post #84
willvarfar wrote: post #6

So healthcare in China is two-tier? Excellent care for those with money or connections, and bad care for everyone else? The author works in America as a writer (and the prose is excellent! Hard to believe English is a second language!). Would things be any different if the mother lived in the states with her daughter? Would healthcare be better for her, or would it only be better if they were richer than they are? As…

> So healthcare in China is two-tier? Excellent care for those with money or connections, and bad care for everyone else? > As someone living in a country with working universal healthcare I don't know where you are living, but for example the praised German universal healthcare works exactly the same way - two-tier. Of course it's not bad on universal, but if you have money to go private the difference is obviously…

Isn't it the same everywhere in the world? My first hand experiences are the US and Thailand and I have also researched quite a bit the medical tourism industry. Although there are some differences, it seems universally the case that most locals have access to public healthcare which is generally bad while those with money (wealthy locals and foreign medical tourists) have access to excellent doctors and facilities.

I know there are people positive on nationalized healthcare in some countries. But then I read about how wait times for medical procedures have reached record highs at hospitals in the UK and that there is now wait-time insurance offered in Canada to pay for trip and treatment in cases where you will be dead before your appointment date arrives.

I don't know that it has ever been different. Or that it ever will be.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#110

Post by pm90 »

laumars wrote: post #34
40acres wrote: post #2

I've been struggling with dream fulfillment vs. pragmatism for weeks now. The dillema is this: I only have a finite amount of time on the weekends and after work -- should I work on this side project idea that I want to turn into a start up or dedicate the time to study for interviews and secure my future with a high salary. Its been gnawing at me for weeks now and I think after reading this I've made my decision.. m…

It's trendy to run your own start up but honestly I'd rather work for an established company on a decent wage and have my startup idea as side projects for fun. If they become profitable then I get a little extra pocket money. However more often than not it's just something to scratch a personal itch so I'd rather just give it away to the open source community since it has already been so generous to me and my career…

Startups and regular jobs are really different experiences; some people enjoy the thrill of being weeks away from running out of cash, or crunching hours after hours to get the product out to the market and potentially making a ton of money in a short period of time. Others like to have a more regular schedule which for them is more productive. So people kinda naturally gravitate towards either kind of job when they really follow their instincts. But many people often don’t and the mismatch does create frustration.
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