Ask HN: Depression and job

I have been through enough shit in my life, fire arms in my face in foreign countries, losing loved ones, the list goes on like most folks. None of that shook me like this recent bout of corporate fuckery.

I think you need to dig deep and analyze all of the variables. Without knowing more about your personal life, age and financial position it is hard to say what the right thing to do is in a socially acceptable sense. If there are stress triggers you need to figure out how to manage those.

End of the day it is probably just a bad fit. It could simply be "toxic" for you. The pay/resume cred doesn't matter if it makes you miserable and degrades your mental/emotional/physical well being.

A bad fit is a bad fit. Chalk it up to life experience and apply what you learn as you continue on down the path. All the money, social acceptance, don't take it for granted, first world problems stuff isn't something to get hung up on. Dead that noise. Look at your life, who you were, how you have acted in the past, who you are today, there are always patterns and a root cause.

You need to focus on the self. What makes sense for YOU. If you are miserable just roll out. If you can take a week or three off, do that. Communicate with HR or your boss, keep it real. It takes some stones to be open and honest about this kind of thing but you might be surprised at what kind of support you can receive.

Worst case just go to the doc and then let HR know. I am willing to bet that you can take a month or more off via personal leave with no real consequence due to "job related" illness. When in doubt, review your handy dandy corporate handbook.

Start to take control of the situation. It is your life. Own it. Don't throw yourself under the bus for no reason. Make change, don't be a victim...especially not to your own sub-conscious acrobatics.

How long have you been at this job?

Do you have personal hobbies or projects you like to work on?

These are all questions you need to ask yourself.

We often tend to rely on our jobs to push our intellectual curiosity and provide satisfaction by challenging us to greater heights. Unfortunately, most jobs become mundane after the first project goes live. Hence why most developers average 2 years or less at a job. It's our failure to communicate and set expectations with our superiors, that drives us to the brink, isolates us, and ultimately makes us quit. Alas, the grass ain't always greener and more often than not, you find yourself in the same situation.

If there's one thing I've learned from all of the previous employers I've left, it's that the anxiety build up leading up to handing in that 2 weeks notice could have been entirely avoided, had we just had an open conversation of where we want to be in our careers. Communication is key.

Before you decide to quit, I'd say take a long vacation. 2 weeks minimum, or a month if permissible. Make sure to completely remove yourself from your current environment (go to another country).

Doing so will recharge your batteries, help disconnect you from the daily grind, and realign your thoughts on what's important. A crystal clear view of what path to take. After you come back, whether you've decided to stay or leave your current employer, you will feel 100 times more confident in the decision you make.

Sounds like burnout and anxiety has gotten the best of you right now.

Relax. Take a deep breath. Go on a long vacation. Make a decision.

It's a mixture of working under pressure and fear of authority figure that comes from abandonment childhood trauma...

Also I don't connect with any collègue really. Like in the deep level, contemplating kind of thing.