Earlier quoted context omitted.
Don't spank your kids. It has no benefit, and many negative effects.
It's incredible that we still have to discuss this in 2018.
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How to get kids to pay attention
191–200 of 283 posts
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
There's a big difference in active and passive screen time. I got into computers in the early 90s and back then there was always a certain hands on aspect to it. From installing RAM to clearing drive space or making custom boot disks... Games actually thought me a lot! Now... Not so much. Much of the hardware is locked, nevermind the software. So kids get to thinking they can't make anything, that it's a primarily pa…
I agree except for the idea that hardware and software being locked somehow prevents creative activities. If you want to do programming, you can do a huge amount just using browser APIs (and that is kind of nice because it is very easy to share what you do by sending people a link). You can do graphics (canvas, svg, webgl), audio, and so many other things. But to use a computer creatively you don't have to be a progr…
Three problem with locked-down software and hardware is that it is the environment. An immutable environment leaves no room for creativity.
Sure, you can go find an open environment, but when I was growing up, I was already there; and that made all the difference. I didn't need a mentor to introduce me. I was free to stumble into the world of software via my own interests.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#193Text-only link because NPR couldn't be bothered to make their GDPR compliance page link to the correct page: https://text.npr.org/s.php?sId=621752789
How did you find this? I looked all over but was unable to find it after declining and going the the plaintext site.
I would love the text-only site... if it worked.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#194This is pretty much how I was raised in a small midwestern farming community. I was in charge of the laundry by the time I was 6, and the lawn when I was 8 or 9, and summers were pretty much filled with activities that my friends and I could organize. Moving to the burbs where play was organized sports and kids had everything done for them was a really big shock. It was hard to believe how inept at life most of my pe…
To the contrary, I didn't have a ton of responsibilities at home, some chores but not too many. My parents put a premium on schoolwork and grades.
I did just fine living on campus freshman year (just under four years ago now). I don't think things are inherently that complicated.
Maybe I had more exposure than I think, but in the age of the internet, it's pretty easy to figure things out.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#195"You are a product of your environment" --Clement https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#196Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is this really so hard to figure out? Very few people would do things which are useful to keep civilization running if they have a choice. Look at what people do with their leisure time - watch commercial TV, play video games, look at nonsense on Facebook. It wouldn't be pretty.
> watch commercial TV, play video games, look at nonsense on Facebook. It wouldn't be pretty Because that's all most people can do after 8-10 hours (+ commute) of soul-draining work, and then some household chores. Let's not assume that this is the default of human leisure just because it's all people have energy for after hard day of work.
NEETs might provide a strong example that this is the default of human leisure. In my experience most NEETs lament their lack of motivation. It's possible that their depression is a result of adverse societal pressure, but I posit that most humans lack the ability to structure their time without an external motivator.
It's often said that pain is the best teacher, but it is also common to refer to "the carrot or the stick". Pleasure provides motivation just as great as pain. Lately on Hacker News people have discussed addiction to smart-phones, referring to the dopamine hit resulting from notifications. We also see this with television series, where people will spend hours of free time binge-watching a show. It may well be that we can no longer control ourselves.
A recent science-fiction piece[1] references this phenomena: "I read pdfs of outlandish philosophers, but I do it while frantically checking for notifications" and "Normally I just fulfill my smart contracts and go back to reading Deleuze and Guattari, by which I mean I play first person shooters while the pdf is up on my other monitor".
Hikikomori provide another interesting example, perhaps without the social pressure; although I admit that I'm not very knowledgeable about Japanese society. It's been too long since I've read them; but the books "Hikikomori: Adolescence Without End" and "Welcome to the NHK" may provide some insight.
While I would like to think that humans are intrinsically motivated to _do_, experience shows me that most people are content to merely consume. Technology engineered to keep us scrolling only seems to exasperate the issue.
[1] https://zerohplovecraft.wordpress.com/2018/05/11/the-gig-eco...
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#197This is the second article on HN in the last few weeks from NPR praising the virtues of traditional Central American child rearing.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
My interpreta is that in many other countries there is a sense of collectivism in that everyone takes care of children and collaborates a little bit. If you see a kid, you don’t think something must be wrong, you lend assistance to their parents by being an impromptu guardian and help the kid achieve their means. Whereas in the US the modus operandi is “Well it’s not my kid what do I care? Their parents must be terri…
Anecdote: in Belgium, everything changed after the Marc Dutroux case. Teenage girl friends of mine who worked summer jobs as youth camp workers told me they were anxious to bear children in arms or being seen too close to them. Same reasoning with letting children walking alone to school.
Seconded. Teachers of teenagers dont dare to be alone with 1 child anymore. The smallest of hints might cause years of misery and job loss. This at an age where the children can be real assholes, and they know their powers.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#199> "Of course she can go shopping," Tun Burgos says. "She can buy some eggs or tomatoes for us. She knows the way and how to stay out of traffic." I wonder how much this has to do with the value of child life. What are the statistics of Mayan children being run over / kidnapped? I can't imagine it's somehow safer in Mexico, just somehow parents are more willing / less informed to take this risk.
If people believed in statistics they would let their kids roam free like their parents and grandparents did. It's much safer than it used to be. Alas, US parents are overly protective.
Re: How to get kids to pay attention
#200I have 6 kids, and I've found it's pretty simple to get kids to pay attention (or anything else). Be consistent, and willing to discipline if necessary. Here's the order I follow: 1. Polite request 2. Polite command 3. Stern command 4. Warning 5. Push-ups 6. Spanking They know I love them and because of that love obedience is required. Situations rarely escalate past step 2, and step 6 is memorable. ETA: for anything…
Just curious, who does the push-ups? Do you do them yourself in an attempt to manage your anger? Or is it some kind of punishment?