Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

qz.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

281–290 of 332 posts

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#281

Post by AnIdiotOnTheNet »

mrguyorama wrote: post #278
swyx wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

threads like these make me despair about ever dating ever again. as a society we should be concerned about what tinder and bumble are doing to us, but -no one- has the power to stop it because it appeals to such base instincts.

As a single guy who has little interaction with women, it terrifies me. It's pretty much the only way I'll ever meet someone, but it doesn't fucking work for me.

Ask yourself why it terrifies you though. Is it really the being alone that bothers you, or just the fear of judgement from society and your peers for being alone?

If it is the former, you can work at it if you really want it. If it is the latter, then realize that you don't have to put that pressure on yourself, even if it sometimes feels like it. On the whole, people judge others by the metrics they're winning at. Computer nerds look down on others because they don't know as much about computers, for instance. It's just a silly thing the human mind does. you can simply choose to not care, because you have other priorities in life.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#282

Post by hackits »

adam-a wrote: post #137
hackits wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here is my two cents. A) Is superior in every way. Now let me fill in the gaps a little bit and maybe some-one else will find this information useful. First step is to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself `do` you find yourself physically attractive? Do you have good posture, Do you have a low 10%-16% body fat percentage? Are you dressed to impress or just dress just it over with? If you answered no, then 100…

I think there's some truth in that. If you're dating you should definitely be putting your best foot forward and part of that means exercising, buying some nice clothes, getting your hair cut etc. When I was dating I also made an effort to work on my "social" presentation. For me that meant trying to take in some relatable media: seeing popular films, reading more widely and just trying to make sure I had topics I co…

Dating app's I would recommend healthy body fat% and that is 16% to 20% range. Although I still recommend meeting people in person instead of dating apps as the odd's for guys are really stacked against them.

Although I'm mostly for hook-up's for guys bellow the age of 30. I don't think its healthy for a guy to meet one women and declare her the love of his life. Women in western countries have it too easy to make a mans life living hell.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#283

Post by hackits »

Retric wrote: post #206
hackits wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here is my two cents. A) Is superior in every way. Now let me fill in the gaps a little bit and maybe some-one else will find this information useful. First step is to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself `do` you find yourself physically attractive? Do you have good posture, Do you have a low 10%-16% body fat percentage? Are you dressed to impress or just dress just it over with? If you answered no, then 100…

The biggest player I know is/was short and overweight. He however was always looking, fairly charming, and had reasonable expectations.

When the shirt comes off that dad bob isn't going to impress anyone also its bloody unhealthy and put you a serious risk of CHD and diabetes. Yes you can get women with being short and overweight, just you have to ask yourself the type of women and the expectations of women that you pull in are.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#284

Post by csomar »

nojvek wrote: post #221
csomar wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The experience is not the same everywhere and in every country. In some countries Tinder has worked for me tremendously.

I created several tinder profiles of men of different ethnicities. As a white person, tinder does wonders. As a brown person, you’re the least desirable. In Asian countries, white guys are the choosers.

As a brown person I don't agree. I think it comes down to how "handsome" you look. Your color might help but not that much.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#285

Post by chrischen »

kowdermeister wrote: post #117
chrischen wrote: post #97

Honestly if you're lazy enough to rely on the superficialness of online dating apps like Tinder, you're already in a gray area. If you're judging people purely by looks (which would be an inefficiency since in real life in person looks aren't as important), then someone else is justified in re-balancing that inefficiency by doing something like hiring a text writer.

> looks aren't as important That's not true for the majority. Looks are the first signal you notice of the other person. Unless you are after poets, artists or other people whose work reach other people without "the looks" then I don't see how - even subconsciously - it's not important. Pics are furthermore do indicate personality. I agree that Tinder is an industrial scale meat grinder, but the advantage is that wid…

Looks are the first thing you notice in a person, online, but not true in real life. In real life people meet based on mutual interests, serendipity, or simply having the balls to initiate convo. In those situations looks take a back seat.

People can adjust to looks given enough time, and their physical attractiveness to certain types are shaped by their positive interactions with a person. Apps like Tinder basically force looks to be at the forefront, despite all that.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#286

Post by grrmx1 »

watwut wrote: post #279
grrmx1 wrote: post #264

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Behavior you describe is traditionally attributed to the upper classes of pre-modern nobility. At least that's how popular imagination paints it (see Game of Thrones). I am not so sure this was modus operandi for commoners when it came to marriage. Caste-bound poor village dwellers, with few prospects and no family wealth to maintain, I imagine married for love more often than not.

Poor village workers had to work physically and strength mattered a lot. Also, you paid taxes per household making it very hard for single women to make it. E.g. girl has to marry cause living without man is super hard. You dated two weeks at 15 and then announced marriage and then it was for live.

And that somehow precludes marrying for love?.. You are a village girl, you've been around the village, you know all the boys you age. You marry the one you like. Love.

I am not denying that pre-arranged marriages are a thing, and that they played a more prominent role in the past, but to say that genuine love played no part in the match making process until 200 years ago, like the OP suggested, is an exaggeration.

Love is a part of human evolutionary toolbox, it's been around for a while. Accordingly, the subject of love, and marrying for love, comes up in literary works since the start of recorded history.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#287

Post by c06n »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #281
mrguyorama wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a single guy who has little interaction with women, it terrifies me. It's pretty much the only way I'll ever meet someone, but it doesn't fucking work for me.

Ask yourself why it terrifies you though. Is it really the being alone that bothers you, or just the fear of judgement from society and your peers for being alone? If it is the former, you can work at it if you really want it. If it is the latter, then realize that you don't have to put that pressure on yourself, even if it sometimes feels like it. On the whole, people judge others by the metrics they're winning at.…

Not OP. Your idea of "you can work at it if you really want it" is plainly wrong. We here on HN are a crowd from over the world. You have no idea of the specific circumstances people are living in, the type of dating culture they have where they live, or any other context information to begin with.

You act as if you are privy to an established truth about human interactions that holds at least a majority if situations people find themselves in. That is just not the case.

And btw, you have only a limited say-so in your own desires and actual needs. Social and sexual interaction is a pretty basic, that is not something you shut on and of. It is what defines you as a human being.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#288

Post by freeflight »

laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

> It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender.

Don't even need a whole profile, as a teen in the 90's I'd regularly mess around with different names on an online chat system, didn't even have user profiles back then.

Just the name alone would make a major difference how interactions with people went. Barely anybody was interested in talking to "RandomMaleName", but once you logged in as "Tina21" everybody would be all over you and if you played it right, they'd tell you all kinds of personal details about themselves, while I only revealed made up information about a fake persona.

Juvenile me would get an extra kick out of hosing all those guys asking Tina21 for sexting/phone number for phone sex, I'd start sexting with them and after a certain point just write them really weird, off turning stuff, usually ending the whole interaction by notifying them that they tried to jerk off to a 15-year-old dude.

To this day I'm not sure if that was a good thing to do or a bad thing? I guess, at least I taught a couple of people a valuable lesson about the Internet and anonymity.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#289

Post by Toast_25 »

xarball wrote: post #83
6cd6beb wrote: post #26

I figured something like this would exist, but I don't think it's very useful. I've walked the dark path of trying to implement "pickup artist" material(can't imagine that'll be received well), and I can say that: A) an objective approach works (if you're humble and willing to recognize/adjust for failure) B) there's a torrent of snake oil out there C) you learn a lot when you try this stuff. A lot. A lot of that mat…

While I agree with the general thrust of this, and am perfectly fine with the consequences and outcomes that redpill might land you if you're showing responsibility and taking steps to flirt with someone to such length -- I genuinely loathe appealing to a stereotype of women that are interested in this, because the kind of person it appeals to, or the kind of relationship it generates doesn't get me anything I like w…

I've also applied PUA and redpill is toxic, mysoginistic trash. It's nearly impossible to find PUA stuff that's not toxic and mysoginistic.

The only reason I call it PUA is that I don't know what else to call approaching strangers I find attractive in a respectful and honest way, especially because it seems that where I live or the people I go out with never meet new people.

6cd6beb encapsulated it wonderfully, if PUA is taken as only this and not the manipulative alpha male b/s that is taught, I believe it can teach men a lot of perspective and respect towards the opposite sex:

[...] the general formula of "know your value, be confident and unapologetic about what you want, be ready to accept 'no' quickly and gracefully" is the buried gold. Maybe it's just me but grinding through failure after failure after failure taught me those things.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#290

Post by Toast_25 »

hrktb wrote: post #82
6cd6beb wrote: post #26

I figured something like this would exist, but I don't think it's very useful. I've walked the dark path of trying to implement "pickup artist" material(can't imagine that'll be received well), and I can say that: A) an objective approach works (if you're humble and willing to recognize/adjust for failure) B) there's a torrent of snake oil out there C) you learn a lot when you try this stuff. A lot. A lot of that mat…

Of course you learn a lot by doing something day day out until it works. One important part IMO is that you are optimizing a very specific skillset, and depending on your goal it might not be an optimal for you. It’s the same as driving for days around town in your car to learn how other people drive, how they react to your car, how your town is structured and dramaticaly improve your driving. You’ll gain invaluable…

"I could totally do that if I tried"
Post reply on HN