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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#261

Post by logfromblammo »

baron816 wrote: post #73
aphextron wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps. Why would they try to find a date in any other way? There were a few articles that came out a few years ago arguing that, no, dating apps were terrible for women because it makes men even more noncommittal with such easy access to dates. My hypothesis was that the women they interviewed for those pieces were…

I recall seeing in the movie A Beautiful Mind a scene where a group of colluding men improved their dating outcomes by instituting and honoring one rule: "nobody goes for the best one". Nash demonstrated his game theory concept, and it worked the exposition into the screenplay without going too deeply into the math.

So females should probably collude to enforce dating-monogamy, to encourage males to clearly commit or reject. Polygamy works only when females judge 1/Nth of the attention of the best males to be worth more than 100% of a lesser male. Polyandry doesn't work well, because the males have negative incentive to participate--why compete over one woman when those men could just compete on the same terms for all women?

I can envision a system wherein all the women establish a ranking of their top prospects, and an algorithm deconflicts their preferences, such that only one woman can contact a given man through the system at one time, until one or the other publicly repudiates the match. If a woman expresses her preference for only alphas, she may be in a situation where she cannot contact any of them, because they're all "busy" at the time. If she tags a bunch of betas--or even omegas--she might be able to date several of them concurrently. It forces the males to judge based on "good enough for me, or not" rather than "better or worse than potential alternatives". The women would always be dating "the best available that does not compete with the other women".

It's just not realistic to implement a symmetric experience on dating apps.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#262

Post by watwut »

nojvek wrote: post #216
watwut wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The one making the choice is more likely to end up with preferred partner. The one accepting/rejecting existing proposal has less chance to end up with most preferred partner.

Women can make choices too. It’s just that it’s frowned upon when a woman makes the first move. That’s your downside. Men can brag Baku their sexual lives and even exaggerate it. Women have to do the opposite and be very secretive. Perhaps it ties to the dynamic. Women are buyers. Men are sellers. Easy to spend $1000 to buy things, hard to earn $1000 to sell something. Western dating is a totally different beast than…

I compared advantages of active vs passive person in that model - that holds true regardless of which gender is on which side.

I think there are three different datings - the one when you look for partner, the one where you seek temporary fun and then the one when you seek brag points/social status through trophy partner you don't really care about. These discussions tend to confuse them.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#263

Post by [deleted] »

dhimes wrote: post #163
pizza234 wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps Women always had that specific kind of power in real world. When/if you go to a party, observe the people who are alone, standing against a wall; they're invariably men, without absolutely no exception. This says everything about power. Having said that, bear in mind that this kind of power is only a (arguab…

It took me half a lifetime to realize this, but you are correct. It's the man's job to try, and it's the woman's job to choose. It's honestly changed the way I think about relationships.

[deleted]

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#264

Post by grrmx1 »

aphextron wrote: post #209
AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I sometimes wonder if a big reason why monogamous marriage exists as a concept in human society is as a strategy for mitigating violent upheaval. By using cultural pressure to force single-partner relationships (at least on the surface), you no longer had a large group of sexually frustrated men with nothing to lose looking around and wondering how to get a piece of what the elite have that they don't.

A lot of what we think of as “marriage” comes from the entirety of human history where women were bought and sold as bargaining chips in their male family member’s lives. They were used to ensure inheritance, line of succession, and to cement business relationships. Not until just the past couple centuries in western society has there even been a concept of marrying for romantic love.

Behavior you describe is traditionally attributed to the upper classes of pre-modern nobility. At least that's how popular imagination paints it (see Game of Thrones).

I am not so sure this was modus operandi for commoners when it came to marriage. Caste-bound poor village dwellers, with few prospects and no family wealth to maintain, I imagine married for love more often than not.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#265

Post by dajohnson89 »

aphextron wrote: post #44
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

tinder isn't giving women the power, since the user experience is identical for both genders. what gives women the power is the dynamics of the dating market.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#266

Post by aoeusnth1 »

Donzo wrote: post #142
adam-a wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While divorce rates may be around 55% and if, for the sake of argument, the total percentage of unhappy marriages is 30% (although combining lack of sex with domestic abuse is a strange categorisation to me) don't you think a lot of those unhappy marriages end in divorce? The remaining "happy" couples is probably higher than 10%. On top of that I think you're using some very vague statistics and a stated concern for…

There is actually an insane correlation between abuse and sex. Draw what inferences you will from this, but women in abusive relationships overwhelmingly report having fantastic sex lives. Anyone who’s been in a long-term, safe relationship may have noticed that it takes work, on the part of both partners, to keep the candles burning. Learning stuff like this seems to defy everything that one knows, but this is the c…

Don't you think your comments would be more convincing if you had sources?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#268

Post by jessriedel »

purerandomness wrote: post #86
jessriedel wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tinder and Bumble (and Coffee Meets Bagel, the League, etc.) have each party approve the other. The only major thing that distinguishes Bumble from Tinder is the female-message first policy, which is often side-stepped as described above.

It's not side-stepped. It's the best indication of sexual interest you can get, and that's what the dating platform is about, isn't it?

No, I wouldn't say best. A longer comment demonstrates more interest.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#269

Post by jessriedel »

magduf wrote: post #162
jessriedel wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tinder and Bumble (and Coffee Meets Bagel, the League, etc.) have each party approve the other. The only major thing that distinguishes Bumble from Tinder is the female-message first policy, which is often side-stepped as described above.

It's not side-stepping. On Tinder, it's very common for someone to match, and then just never say anything or respond. Women's profiles complain about this a lot.

Well, I'd say it's 90% side-stepping. Composing a message takes more work than swiping, especially more customized messages. Just saying "Hi" is not much more work than swiping, and so mostly defeats the purpose.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#270

Post by pps43 »

logfromblammo wrote: post #261
baron816 wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps. Why would they try to find a date in any other way? There were a few articles that came out a few years ago arguing that, no, dating apps were terrible for women because it makes men even more noncommittal with such easy access to dates. My hypothesis was that the women they interviewed for those pieces were…

I recall seeing in the movie A Beautiful Mind a scene where a group of colluding men improved their dating outcomes by instituting and honoring one rule: "nobody goes for the best one". Nash demonstrated his game theory concept, and it worked the exposition into the screenplay without going too deeply into the math. So females should probably collude to enforce dating-monogamy, to encourage males to clearly commit or…

The system you envision is Gale–Shapley algorithm for solving the stable marriage problem, but with roles reversed.
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