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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#161

Post by magduf »

kofejnik wrote: post #138
Double_a_92 wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't try to match with the top 10% if you are not in there yourself? It's not the app creating an illusion, if you are delusional to begin with...

okcupid published some nice research into this, iirc women consider ~80% males to be "below average". So female standards are seriously skewed towards a small number of super-alphas, who, given a totally free market, would get all the dates

Yeah, but what about the flip side? Not all women are desirable to men: fat, unattractive, already have kids, etc. There's a lot of women who just never get a date, because their photos aren't very attractive and men want pretty women (I'm a man and I'll admit this readily: if a woman is a little overweight that's an automatic disqualifier for me).

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#162

Post by magduf »

jessriedel wrote: post #33
temp-dude-87844 wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even with the immediate passing of control, the premise still works, because women perform the first pass of filtering, giving them an opportunity to preemptively reject the most undesirable of the pool before they have a chance to reach out. It's also an effective tool to fight the sheer volume of spam. The same kind of invitation plays out in real life with eye contact and body language.

Tinder and Bumble (and Coffee Meets Bagel, the League, etc.) have each party approve the other. The only major thing that distinguishes Bumble from Tinder is the female-message first policy, which is often side-stepped as described above.

It's not side-stepping. On Tinder, it's very common for someone to match, and then just never say anything or respond. Women's profiles complain about this a lot.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#163

Post by dhimes »

pizza234 wrote: post #109
baron816 wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps. Why would they try to find a date in any other way? There were a few articles that came out a few years ago arguing that, no, dating apps were terrible for women because it makes men even more noncommittal with such easy access to dates. My hypothesis was that the women they interviewed for those pieces were…

> What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps Women always had that specific kind of power in real world. When/if you go to a party, observe the people who are alone, standing against a wall; they're invariably men, without absolutely no exception. This says everything about power. Having said that, bear in mind that this kind of power is only a (arguab…

It took me half a lifetime to realize this, but you are correct. It's the man's job to try, and it's the woman's job to choose.

It's honestly changed the way I think about relationships.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#164

Post by ryanwaggoner »

Donzo wrote: post #142
adam-a wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While divorce rates may be around 55% and if, for the sake of argument, the total percentage of unhappy marriages is 30% (although combining lack of sex with domestic abuse is a strange categorisation to me) don't you think a lot of those unhappy marriages end in divorce? The remaining "happy" couples is probably higher than 10%. On top of that I think you're using some very vague statistics and a stated concern for…

There is actually an insane correlation between abuse and sex. Draw what inferences you will from this, but women in abusive relationships overwhelmingly report having fantastic sex lives. Anyone who’s been in a long-term, safe relationship may have noticed that it takes work, on the part of both partners, to keep the candles burning. Learning stuff like this seems to defy everything that one knows, but this is the c…

There is actually an insane correlation between abuse and sex. Draw what inferences you will from this, but women in abusive relationships overwhelmingly report having fantastic sex lives.

If true, it seems like the research backing this up wouldn't be shouted from the rooftops because it makes people uncomfortable, but I'm unable to find anything backing up your fairly wild claim.

In fact, here's a study showing the opposite (from what I can tell): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5296519/#b14

That study references this one: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10896-015-9744-...

From that second study: For both men and women, greater increases in victimization were related to lower satisfaction.

Would love to see any research backing up your claim.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#165

Post by duwease »

xarball wrote: post #83
6cd6beb wrote: post #26

I figured something like this would exist, but I don't think it's very useful. I've walked the dark path of trying to implement "pickup artist" material(can't imagine that'll be received well), and I can say that: A) an objective approach works (if you're humble and willing to recognize/adjust for failure) B) there's a torrent of snake oil out there C) you learn a lot when you try this stuff. A lot. A lot of that mat…

While I agree with the general thrust of this, and am perfectly fine with the consequences and outcomes that redpill might land you if you're showing responsibility and taking steps to flirt with someone to such length -- I genuinely loathe appealing to a stereotype of women that are interested in this, because the kind of person it appeals to, or the kind of relationship it generates doesn't get me anything I like w…

Exactly. I think there's a huge flaw in even the toned-down version of that that both sexes buy into -- making a dating profile (or just their public personality) as generically appealing as possible. Yes, highlighting your travel and exercise pics to the exclusion of all else will probably get you more dates.. but how satisfying will the connection generally be? "Likes: food, laughter, exercise, travel, dogs" tells me maybe 1% of the information I need to know to determine compatibility.. especially when most people are exaggerating the importance of the travel and the exercise in their daily life. So the 'matches' made on those generic terms, in my experience, are largely unsatisfying and based on physical attraction -- not exactly the recipe for a rewarding long-term relationship.

Meanwhile, the people who were bold enough to actually talk about their more individualized interests got my attention and resulted in some great conversation and dates, even if they didn't result in relationships.

I fell into the trap in my 20's of being generically appealing. I did very well in the 'dating' market, had attractive partners, married a particularly beautiful one. Then I realized that 'success rate' meant squat other than a minor ego boost, and I was stuck with a person attracted to generically appealing me and not ME. And physical attraction fades.

Luckily I got out of that situation, started representing myself accurately, and I live in a large enough city to be able to find at least some women online who do the same. The conversation, dates, and relationships have been SO much more rewarding, because the people connect with ME and not a generically appealing version of me.

I think being generically appealing does build confidence, and confidence is important. But hopefully redpillers and all the generic profile creators online can eventually see the value of specificity.. and attracting quality over quantity. I think it'll breed a lot more happy relationships.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#166

Post by dhimes »

paulddraper wrote: post #159
chillacy wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's historically the case: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dn... The other implication of polygamy is that a lot of men simply didn't have a chance to pass on their genes at all.

Related to this, as a bit of cause and a bit of effect, is that std deviation intelligence/posperity/success is significantly wider for males. Mentally ill people and geniuses are overwhelmingly male.

Could that just be an observational effect? That it's maybe been historically easier for mentally ill women to hide at home, and for genius women to not be discovered? I realize I'm asking a question we can't answer at the moment, but I bring it up because we've "recently" (I'm old) learned that girls can struggle in school just like boys, but their problems go undetected because they behave in class and teachers are less likely to look for problems. The crisis has always been the 7th grade boy who can't read- it turns out there are a lot of 7th grade girls who can't read either, but they were undiagnosed.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#167

Post by fapjacks »

vidarh wrote: post #139
badpun wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, because models are attractive because of their clothes and the poses they take.

No, but most people can do a lot about their appearance. Neil Strauss once in frustration pointed out that after The Game was published, his look became a cliche because guys were copying him. Not because it was particularly fantastic, but because the changes he'd made to his own style were quick and simple fixes. E.g. balding? Not easy to fix, but easy to shave it all off. Bad sense of style? Some things are hard to…

Right. This is important and it's pretty obvious that a lot of guys just put zero effort into presenting themselves in a positive way. I went through my entire twenties living like some kind of goblin. The rules are things that everyone knows, but they take a small amount of effort that some people aren't willing to expend, even for the sake of getting a date. Take a shower, brush those teeth, and wear deodorant! Interpersonal Skills 101: Be honest, be respectful, be yourself. Have some manners and open doors for other people wherever there are doors and other people. For crying out loud, chew with your mouth closed, you troll! Don't wear clothes with food stains on them. Go for a run and stop smoking. Just have some self-respect and try to be a more thoughtful individual. Now I'll be the first to admit that it took me many years to start checking the blocks on this list. But it costs essentially nothing, yet as always, people remain change-resistant.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#168

Post by walrus01 »

If you really want to see something weird (from an American perspective) take a look at "matrimonial" websites such as shaadi.com , and Indian dating apps. The selection criteria for ethnic groups and religions! In the North American melting pot it's crude and racist to put blunt preferences in a dating ad, in India (and Pakistan, and Bangaldesh) apparently it's the norm.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#169

Post by [deleted] »

aphextron wrote: post #44
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

[deleted]

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#170

Post by twic »

EGreg wrote: post #50
Throwaway198724 wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I was using dating sites, I did the same on OkCupid, and signed up a fake account with the photos of a woman that was slightly above average in appearance. I was curious to see how many messages I would receive, but more importantly, the type and quality of those messages. I thought that would give me a better idea of how to write my own messages (e.g. if 90% of messages were asking the same question, I didn't w…

You guys are good. But I have a suggestion. Have your friend reach out first and say he knows someone she will really click with. If she doesn’t go for it, THEN you reach out. Dating as it stands is only a recent phenomenon. It is far better when three people with different preferences keep the others in mind when out dating. Far better to do introductions than always be out for yourself.

That reminds me of this, also an interesting idea:

https://www.mysinglefriend.com/

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