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Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

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Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#81

Post by chillacy »

baron816 wrote: post #73
aphextron wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps. Why would they try to find a date in any other way? There were a few articles that came out a few years ago arguing that, no, dating apps were terrible for women because it makes men even more noncommittal with such easy access to dates. My hypothesis was that the women they interviewed for those pieces were…

That's historically the case: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dn...

The other implication of polygamy is that a lot of men simply didn't have a chance to pass on their genes at all.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#82

Post by hrktb »

6cd6beb wrote: post #26

I figured something like this would exist, but I don't think it's very useful. I've walked the dark path of trying to implement "pickup artist" material(can't imagine that'll be received well), and I can say that: A) an objective approach works (if you're humble and willing to recognize/adjust for failure) B) there's a torrent of snake oil out there C) you learn a lot when you try this stuff. A lot. A lot of that mat…

Of course you learn a lot by doing something day day out until it works.

One important part IMO is that you are optimizing a very specific skillset, and depending on your goal it might not be an optimal for you.

It’s the same as driving for days around town in your car to learn how other people drive, how they react to your car, how your town is structured and dramaticaly improve your driving. You’ll gain invaluable insight from the experience, but from your perspective for instance you could have prefered grinding on tinder instead.

TLDR: people choose their battles

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#83

Post by xarball »

6cd6beb wrote: post #26

I figured something like this would exist, but I don't think it's very useful. I've walked the dark path of trying to implement "pickup artist" material(can't imagine that'll be received well), and I can say that: A) an objective approach works (if you're humble and willing to recognize/adjust for failure) B) there's a torrent of snake oil out there C) you learn a lot when you try this stuff. A lot. A lot of that mat…

While I agree with the general thrust of this, and am perfectly fine with the consequences and outcomes that redpill might land you if you're showing responsibility and taking steps to flirt with someone to such length -- I genuinely loathe appealing to a stereotype of women that are interested in this, because the kind of person it appeals to, or the kind of relationship it generates doesn't get me anything I like when it works!

That is to say, unless I feel like being more plastic than a Ken barbie doll, and less significant in identity, emotion, and purpose than the next 5,000 Ken models off the factory line, then I don't see how I couldn't possibly feel any more alone after applying redpill?

What I found after taking redpill and succeeding by their standards, I didn't find myself in any way happier or more at peace with myself, or happier in the company of anyone that is attracted to that. Maybe it has just been highly successful at producing traumatic experiences, which does help me grow. But there has been nothing redpill or the women it has been able to match me with that has been able to counter the type of gutless, "take-take", or just purely sexual tension-oriented relationships it seems to encourage men to get involved with! Those are highly destructive experiences if you're not careful.

My peace of mind is worth so much more than that.

I can respect redpill, because I understand what it's for. But I don't enjoy the people it connects me with. I think it boils down to a lack of a proper examination of personal happiness in redpill's promise at large, and i don't think they contend with that subject nearly as much as they should! (Though I can understand why the women like it, because it encourages men to not care about what they need to grow as a person, while essentially demeaning them to the point of being uncompensated and emotionally-deprived and ego-devalued sex servants =P)

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#84

Post by Kalium »

philwelch wrote: post #46
jessriedel wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tinder and Bumble (and Coffee Meets Bagel, the League, etc.) have each party approve the other. The only major thing that distinguishes Bumble from Tinder is the female-message first policy, which is often side-stepped as described above.

Saying "hi" is still a stronger signal than swiping right.

I can see why you would think that. Based on my experiences actually using both Tinder and Bumble, it's possible that your experiences might differ significantly from mine.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#85

Post by aaronbrethorst »

throwaway84742 wrote: post #77
noobermin wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gender is distinct from sexual orientation. Moreover, women in general feel societal pressures to conform to gender norms regardless of their sexual preference, and it's hard to disentangle whether that's innate or not, and if gender norms (and norms about sex) were to change if we'd see different behavior.

These aren’t just arbitrary “social norms” though. Cost of accidentally getting pregnant and child bearing is very high and it simply does not exist for men.

A couple where neither member can produce sperm is not at risk of accidental pregnancy.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#86

Post by purerandomness »

jessriedel wrote: post #33
temp-dude-87844 wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even with the immediate passing of control, the premise still works, because women perform the first pass of filtering, giving them an opportunity to preemptively reject the most undesirable of the pool before they have a chance to reach out. It's also an effective tool to fight the sheer volume of spam. The same kind of invitation plays out in real life with eye contact and body language.

Tinder and Bumble (and Coffee Meets Bagel, the League, etc.) have each party approve the other. The only major thing that distinguishes Bumble from Tinder is the female-message first policy, which is often side-stepped as described above.

It's not side-stepped. It's the best indication of sexual interest you can get, and that's what the dating platform is about, isn't it?

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#87

Post by dvtrn »

icebraining wrote: post #72
swyx wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

threads like these make me despair about ever dating ever again. as a society we should be concerned about what tinder and bumble are doing to us, but -no one- has the power to stop it because it appeals to such base instincts.

What are they doing to us?

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/the-many-p...

...is a source I often point to when I'm personally lamenting how weirdly...impersonal dating seems to have become.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#88

Post by rosege »

Throwaway198724 wrote: post #45
laurieg wrote: post #2

It is very informative to make a an online dating profile of the opposite gender. I'm a man, but when I made an account on tinder with a female friend's pictures I was blown away by just how radically different the experience was. Almost every person would match with me. Everyone would message me straight away. If I didn't reply most would message again in a few hours. A few would get very angry/upset that I didn't r…

When I was using dating sites, I did the same on OkCupid, and signed up a fake account with the photos of a woman that was slightly above average in appearance. I was curious to see how many messages I would receive, but more importantly, the type and quality of those messages. I thought that would give me a better idea of how to write my own messages (e.g. if 90% of messages were asking the same question, I didn't w…

Your comment also reminded me of something I saw. Some guy put the photos of a male model on his profile then started messaging women with really crude/direct messages that there is no way the average guy would have got anywhere with or would have been shouted down - from what he made out nearly all of them sent him their number straight away

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#89

Post by throwaway84742 »

aaronbrethorst wrote: post #85
throwaway84742 wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

These aren’t just arbitrary “social norms” though. Cost of accidentally getting pregnant and child bearing is very high and it simply does not exist for men.

A couple where neither member can produce sperm is not at risk of accidental pregnancy.

A couple where both can produce sperm is unlikely to produce offspring either. Still don’t see what that has to do with anything.

Re: Impersonators who are paid to flirt on dating apps

#90

Post by tajen »

baron816 wrote: post #73
aphextron wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I worked for $large_dating_site for a number of years. The real genius of Tinder was giving women the power. We came to the same realization as well: that no matter how bad you make the user experience for men, they will use the app endlessly if real women are there. Online dating business models are exclusively based around enticing men with sex, and giving women the power to choose precisely who they want.

What I’ve long wondered is how women react in the real world now that they have all the power on dating apps. Why would they try to find a date in any other way? There were a few articles that came out a few years ago arguing that, no, dating apps were terrible for women because it makes men even more noncommittal with such easy access to dates. My hypothesis was that the women they interviewed for those pieces were…

No, it’s rather devastating for female sanity. It gives them the illusion of choice, and many women build false expectations, feeling that they could settle with any of those Don Juans, which is false. When they hit the wall at 30, they start noticing that the top 10% men keep dating the younger ones, and they’ll never be able to settle with a Perfect Man anymore. Enters depression and weight gain and they settle with a second-class, a man that is not beautiful but at least is willing to do anything possible to provide to her, give her children and make her happy. But they internally despise the fact that he’ll never match the men of her 20ies. Among the 55% not divorcing, a lot (30% depending on the calculation) of couples don’t have sex and/or beat each other. Perhaps 10% comes to peace with loving the husband they actually matched with.

Tinder and the illusion of choice during the 20ies is devastating to female mental health, and to family balance. Plus men who marry will get the girl at 30 and will never have known her during her prime beauty.

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