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Some terrible personal news

mattcutts.com

221–230 of 234 posts

Re: Some terrible personal news

#221
post #152
post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A personal attack is to insult some-one or to be-little them. It is a recommendation of some very worrisome warning signs of the post.

It certainly was be-littling him. You may be right, but especially on such a sensible topic it's all about how you write it.

belittle dismiss (someone or something) as unimportant.

Recommending some-one go and seek help or signs or warning signs of underlying dependency that isn't healthy for a strong mature relationship is not belittling someone. Instead its is concern and recommendation to seek help is caring about some-one I have no social relationship to. If I didn't care I wouldn't say anything.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But that's not medically true? Don't be afraid to let a little poetry into your life.

Going by the score on the parent comment, I must be the only one that assumed andrewbinstock was just trying to express a heartfelt thought.

I was indeed.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#223
post #33

I lost my wife suddenly in 2009, she was 34. Losing your significant other is something that you never get over - you live with the emptiness and the hurt, and you learn to move on and hope that the "fog" eventually lifts. It's something that only someone else who has been through the same experience will understand. I was lucky to meet a friend who had lost her husband a couple years before, and she helped me throug…

>I’m unmanned and unmoored without her I found that quite cutting. I'm not sure I could go on if my wife died prematurely. My mind has turned to this on occassions when people close to me have suffered severe illness or died, and I just can't see in my minds eye how I could cope.

It's tough. But life has to go on. My wife of forty years died of cancer last August after two years of treatment. Even though we both knew it would happen sometime we were neither of us prepared for it when it happened. Six months later 'I’m unmanned and unmoored without her' as the other commenter said. Half my memory is gone, I have no one to whom I can make all those scurrilous comments about friends and relations. No one's hand to hold while going for a walk. No one to hold and to touch.

But I have other people who rely on me, my children, my sister, the company I work for. So even though I am in tears as I write this, I know that I have to cope, I have to find a way to be.

It's going to take a while.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#224

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you job hopped - did you wait for projects to be complete before you left to a new job? Did you have to ship? I'm in a conundrum whether to leave or not because the project hasn't shipped.

Don't worry about that. There's never a good time to leave and you'll always feel like you're leaving at a critical time.

Wow.. this cleared a lot of anxiety for moiye.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't worry about that. There's never a good time to leave and you'll always feel like you're leaving at a critical time.

Wow.. this cleared a lot of anxiety for moiye.

Glad to hear it. Don't hamstring yourself out of a misplaced sense of obligation.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#226
post #210
post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say, ignore both of them (the HNers advising you above in good earnest). You will cross that bridge if/when there is a need. The disruption to a happy phase can come in various guises. Don't mend if it ain't broke, they say. Also make hay while the sun shines & may be it will shine longer.

Yes, that's why I said his call - I'm just a random stranger (no expert, no family member, no good friend etc), the weight of the things I say is close to zero and this is fine. On the other hand sometimes it may be good to have a pillow to soften a fall. If nothing happens, I spent that money on myself, no big deal, but if a tragedy happens out of the blue then it may save his life. It saved mine.

I understand. And that's why even in my post I said 'good earnest'. But I feared by OP's last comment that he was beginning to take the advise seriously. So I thought my duty to put an affirming point.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#228

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know about Chris Espinosa ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Espinosa ). I didn't think anyone else had been their 30+ years.

Many, actually. It was quite common to run into 30+ year folks at all levels, including EPM (I know of four off the top of my head).

That says a lot. I would have jumped ship around 1995-1997. Things were bleak for Apple and everything they shipped software wise was buggy, behind the times,

In 1994. Apple was on top of the world. They were the number one or number two computer seller and the PPC Macs were introduce and then Windows 95 happened.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I’m unmanned and unmoored without her I found that quite cutting. I'm not sure I could go on if my wife died prematurely. My mind has turned to this on occassions when people close to me have suffered severe illness or died, and I just can't see in my minds eye how I could cope.

It's tough. But life has to go on. My wife of forty years died of cancer last August after two years of treatment. Even though we both knew it would happen sometime we were neither of us prepared for it when it happened. Six months later 'I’m unmanned and unmoored without her' as the other commenter said. Half my memory is gone, I have no one to whom I can make all those scurrilous comments about friends and relation…

It took me about two years before the "fog" lifted and I started to feel again. Before I was doing anything other than going to work like an automation just to pay bills.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#230
post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's all true, but are not the job of the death certificate or the responsibility of a doctor. It has to be as objective as possible, not a matter of interpretation, that would be an appropriate role for an inquest.

Only because we have defined the role of a death certificate as containing the immediate medical cause of death. You’re arguing that something should be the way it is because that’s the way it is.

So either:

Doctors would also be responsible for performing inquests into non-medical circumstances of a death, for which they are not trained and don't have any powers to gather evidence or take statements. I can't see that being popular with doctors.

Doctor would not be able to sign a death certificate until a Judge had completed an inquest into the non-medical circumstances. In which case the Judge would have to do so without the benefit of a medical certification as to the medical cause of death, which would have to remain open until the end of the inquest. In which case, I don't see how the inquest can reasonable be completed without a certification as to the medical facts, which is all a death certificate is.

Neither of those make any sense, so I'm sure those aren't what you are suggesting. How do you see this working?

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