Some terrible personal news

Perhaps long periods of sitting on a flight?

If you suspect this is happening to you (all of the sudden you can't really breathe), is there anything you can even do? Or just hope it's not bad enough to be fatal?

My wife passed away in her sleep in 2016. It was unexpected. I woke up like it was any other day and then it wasn't. I never imagined something like that would happen. Learning how to carry on without my partner and my best friend has made these past two years the most challenging of my life.

In this time, I've learned a few things about grief. That it affects everyone differently. That there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Some of us feel guilt, anger, sadness, depression, or numbness... or all of the above.

I also discovered that my wife's passing and my grief made other people feel uncomfortable. I sensed it was hard for folks to know what to say or do. And that's ok—there isn't much you can say or do that will change things for those closest to loss.

But, speaking for myself, it does mean a lot when someone reaches out and shares their thoughts. In my experience, the best things to say are to acknowledge the hurt and to share how you feel. Avoid trying to make sense of it (you can't) or that things will get better (you don't know). If you're able, say the person's name. If you knew the person, tell your grieving friend how much she meant to you.

Matt, I didn't know your wife, Cindy, but I met you once and recall being struck by how smart, genuine, and kind you were, aside from all the great work you've done to help me learn about SEO. From what you've shared about Cindy, I can tell she is an amazing person, that she is loved, and that she is missed dearly. My heart goes out to you and your family.

The root cause of everything is the laws of physics and, to the extent it is a separate issue, the initial state of the universe.

Or, from a different epistemological viewpoint, the root cause of everything is God’s will.

Ascribing importance to intermediate causes is highly subjective, even assuming they can be reliably determined.

While I agree with you, if someone would have said the opposite - that they are where they are because of the support and guidance of their parents even when they were just getting started as an adult, few people would bat an eye.

I can say I am where I am because of all of my hard work. But I know that isn't entirely true. It would have been much harder for me to move out of the small town I grew up in and where I went to college, to the city where I live with much better opportunities making far too little to support myself in the beginning without their support. I can draw a pretty straight line from my first low paying job as a computer operator that didn't pay enough to make it to where I am today 20 years later.

If it weren't for them, I probably would have gotten a job that paid more then working on mainframes but without the growth opportunities in a small town.

> How was a comment that says “no one deserves to have a spouse die” injecting politics?

The “And yet...” after that part, which basically inverts the overall message and is suggesting Cutts comes closer than most to deserving it, is injecting a negative personal judgement; it's not overtly political, but given the nature of the negative commentary Cutts has received, when he has received negative commentary, on HN, it's not surprising that it would be read as injecting something that could broadly be described as politics.