Some terrible personal news • Hacker News Board

Re: Some terrible personal news

#201

Post by emodendroket » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 6:36 PM UTC

scarface74 wrote: post #193

emodendroket wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Doesn't that become difficult after a while? I'm gradually finding fewer places are even able to match what I'm making, let alone give me a 20% raise.

Yes. Definitely. I spent 9 years at one company - 7 years longer than I should have. After a 10K raise the first year and with 3% raises after that and bonuses slowly being cut, I only made $7K more in 2008 than I did in 2002. After that, I started aggressively job hopping - 4 jobs - and learning and over the next 10 years, I made over 60K more. Now, I am looking to see what technology I should jump on and best case,…

Yeah, precisely. It seems like "the next level" gets a lot more like management and involves less writing code and I don't know that that is really for me.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#202

Post by TomAnthony » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 6:40 PM UTC

ohyoutravel wrote: post #17

Matt is my boss. He is the kindest and best leader I've ever had the pleasure of working with. Cindy, his wife, was a jewel. My heart hurts so much for him.

You are lucky to work for/with Matt. I've never met him, but traded a few emails whilst he was at Google and he was always kind and helpful.

I can't imagine how he must feel. I very much hope he is doing ok.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#203

Post by pvaldes » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 6:40 PM UTC

This is the problem with the hearts of feline nature. Can't be retained for so long as we would wish. They laugh with us, kiss us, mock of us, wink and fly away chasing the breeze. My sympathy and respect for matt, mrbill, webkike, rossta, joering2 and their families and loved ones.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUJLdC6wqno

Re: Some terrible personal news

#204

Post by criddell » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 6:49 PM UTC

criddell wrote: post #134

askl56 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But that's not medically true? The proximate medical cause has to be valid and complete, otherwise what is the point in listing it? A death certificate provides full information as to why someone died for the relatives and for the state. This provides them with an explanation of how and why their relative died. It also gives them a permanent record of information about their family medical history, which may be impor…

> But that's not medically true? Don't be afraid to let a little poetry into your life.

Going by the score on the parent comment, I must be the only one that assumed andrewbinstock was just trying to express a heartfelt thought.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#205

Post by JshWright » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 7:10 PM UTC

blkhp19 wrote: post #182

copperx wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does travel have to do with it?

Perhaps long periods of sitting on a flight? If you suspect this is happening to you (all of the sudden you can't really breathe), is there anything you can even do? Or just hope it's not bad enough to be fatal?

If you experience sudden shortness of breath, call 911 (or whatever your local emergency services number is).

Re: Some terrible personal news

#206

Post by jsmthrowaway » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 7:20 PM UTC

scarface74 wrote: post #189

ubermonkey wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a friend who's been a programmer at Apple for 30 years.

I know about Chris Espinosa ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Espinosa ). I didn't think anyone else had been their 30+ years.

Many, actually. It was quite common to run into 30+ year folks at all levels, including EPM (I know of four off the top of my head).

Re: Some terrible personal news

#207

Post by mrbill » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 7:31 PM UTC

andrewbinstock wrote: post #78

snuxoll wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Broken heart syndrome is real, elderly couples have been know to pass within fairly short time frames of each other even if all medical indications show they very well could have survived longer. Losing the one person you have shared so much of your life with, likely raised children together with and confided in is something I cannot even comprehend. I’m going to put down HN now and play Minecraft with my wife or som…

I have long felt that death certificates are done completely wrong. Instead of just listing the proximate medical cause, they should list the true cause: he died of loneliness; he died of a broken heart; he died because he was homeless and couldn't find his way to the help he needed. When those are the causes of death that we start to track, perhaps the world will become a better place.

One thing that sucks about having a significant other die - having to keep piles of certified copies of the death cert handy, to send to various orgs / companies / etc to cancel things, shut off services, and so forth. I ran across a folder full of them a few months ago and it ruined the rest of my day.

When I called to have my late wife removed from my insurance at work, the lady who changed it messed up and removed her effective the day before she passed away - so all sorts of insurance claims started bouncing back "not covered". It took me a year and a half to get in touch with someone at the insurance company who said "oh my. you poor dear. let me fix this" and she had it corrected in less than five minutes.. but for that 18 months I had to deal with almost-monthly bills coming in with her name on them...

Re: Some terrible personal news

#208

Post by mrbill » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 7:34 PM UTC

toomanybeersies wrote: post #54

northwest65 wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I’m unmanned and unmoored without her I found that quite cutting. I'm not sure I could go on if my wife died prematurely. My mind has turned to this on occassions when people close to me have suffered severe illness or died, and I just can't see in my minds eye how I could cope.

You wouldn't be the first if you couldn't go on. A close family friend took his own life shortly after his wife died of cancer. After over 25 years of living together, I guess it was just too much for him to continue without her. I was too young at the time to understand and to be honest I'm still too young to understand.

For the longest time (and well, still to this day) I hated coming home to an empty house. I wanted human companionship - a hug, someone to care, someone to ask how my day went.

I had two cats, but they've since passed, and even before that it wasn't the same.

It's been almost ten years, and there's not a few days that go by without me thinking that nobody would miss me if I decided to join her.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#209

Post by Haul4ss » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 7:34 PM UTC

rossta wrote: post #184

My wife passed away in her sleep in 2016. It was unexpected. I woke up like it was any other day and then it wasn't. I never imagined something like that would happen. Learning how to carry on without my partner and my best friend has made these past two years the most challenging of my life. In this time, I've learned a few things about grief. That it affects everyone differently. That there's no right or wrong way…

My wife also passed away unexpectedly in her sleep in 2016.

My heart aches for Matt. I don't know him or his wife, but I know the feeling of being unmoored. In fact I've used that same word to describe it.

I agree that people never know how to act about the situation. It's weird now to think of all of the people I have met who only know me as a widower, who never knew me when my wife was alive.

I appreciated the outpouring of support I received in the immediate aftermath. It was overwhelming, but not unwelcome.

Re: Some terrible personal news

#210

Post by xab9 » Thu, Mar 08, 2018, 8:09 PM UTC

aws_ls wrote: post #172

PakG1 wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks, this is food for thought.

I would say, ignore both of them (the HNers advising you above in good earnest). You will cross that bridge if/when there is a need. The disruption to a happy phase can come in various guises. Don't mend if it ain't broke, they say. Also make hay while the sun shines & may be it will shine longer.

Yes, that's why I said his call - I'm just a random stranger (no expert, no family member, no good friend etc), the weight of the things I say is close to zero and this is fine.

On the other hand sometimes it may be good to have a pillow to soften a fall. If nothing happens, I spent that money on myself, no big deal, but if a tragedy happens out of the blue then it may save his life. It saved mine.