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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

kapwing.com

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Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#361

Post by scott_s »

verroq wrote: post #105
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

> It could easily be that more attractive profiles result in more interactions and receive the same proportion of sexist responses.

The male co-founder is an attractive man. He did not receive nearly the same amount of sexual harassment. It's reasonable to suspect that the reason is gender. Your objection is true, it could be that way. But given all of the priors we has in this area, it's quite reasonable to lean towards a gender-bias in receiving sexual harassment.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#362

Post by contravariant »

riskable wrote: post #321
contravariant wrote: post #304

It would be nice to have some labels on the bar graph. I assume that orange represents the rude messages and blue the heckling, but for all I know it's the other way around. It's even possible that one column is for normal messages and one for rude/heckling messages, especially since I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between between rude/trolling and sexual-harassment/heckling (I'd understand if it were ru…

I don't know what did it but something changed inside me a number of years ago where now I have this uncontrollable reaction of disgust whenever I see graphs and charts like this. Maybe I've viewed too many "reports" from places like the Heartland Institute and Fox News. Seeing charts with missing information or misleading/inaccurate heights for things kicks off my bullshit detector and throws me in defensive mode th…

Well in this case you're on your own I'm afraid.

Making clear unambiguous graphs is incredibly hard so minor nitpicks like missing labels can hardly be called 'nefarious'.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#363

Post by GVIrish »

randomsearch wrote: post #357
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

Also, HN story about general experience that isn’t about sexism: “Oh, that’s interesting, I wonder if that’s because of X or Y?”, “gee that most have been awful”, “hey that makes me re-examine a way I behaved once”, “I’ve seen similar behaviour here at Q and Z” When about sexism: “unless this is a triple-blind study that has been repeated across every continent, let’s not jump to the conclusion that there is a lot of…

> Something has gone very badly wrong with the internet and we should be working out what we can do about it, rather than sticking our fingers in our ears saying “boys will be boys” or “this isn’t scientific!”.

I think the internet has just served to exposed something heinous that has been in our society for eternity. Plenty of men have held these attitudes from time immortal, it's just that the internet gives them an easier means to express those attitudes without consequence.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#364

Post by dpark »

grasshopperpurp wrote: post #332
alkonaut wrote: post #191

Kids who grew up in an environment where anonymous interaction is the norm (such as kids who have anonymous social chats at school, or do in-game chats etc) have grown so accustomed to it that I don't think they even see it as sexist, racist, bullying etc. Most would probably never say any of this to someones' face, not out of fear of consequences but simply because they know better. Yet in anonymous contact they don…

You're being way too light on these people. This is how they'd act if allowed IRL. The anonymity just gives them more protection than they'd enjoy IRL. These are, at best, sick people, who need need.

They aren’t “sick people”. They’re just assholes. This behavior does not indicate a mental illness. It’s just generic asshole behavior.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#365

Post by [deleted] »

jaaames wrote: post #349
jenthoven wrote: post #324

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey this is Julia, the post’s author. Sorry there’s no legend; I kind of included it in the title of the graph but orange was “Rude or trolling messages” and blue was “Sexual harassment or heckling”

Did you consider that this maybe not be representative of a systemic bias against women across all demographics, rather, the demographic that searches for video meme makers on the internet is skewed towards horny rude teenage boys that bask in anonymity?

[deleted]

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#366

Post by andrewmcwatters »

vitro wrote: post #350

Sometimes I think how difficult it must be to be a women, being bombarded by the looks all the time, feeling like a pray... Partly it is in our nature, partly in the culture and education. We as men have still a long way to go to fully respect women. If you haven't seen, I recommend the movie Whores' Glory http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327628/ to have a peek into the women's life as a sexual worker. If only we could o…

> We as men have still a long way to go to fully respect women.

These types of generalizations are akin to saying, "We as Americans have a long way to go to make better student loan investment decisions." The effects are so personal that it's worthless to make blanket statements like this; that is to say–speak for yourself.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#367

Post by IntronExon »

Max_Mustermann wrote: post #355
lokopodium wrote: post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men generally don't catcall or fondle strangers' bodies either. It's a general projection, "why would anyone do that?".

Yet another thing that explains the obliviousness that people are mentioning.

Or as I’m saying, the 1 day old account is making an argument it thinks will be more acceptable to this audience rather than its real views.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#368

Post by dpark »

bittercynic wrote: post #342
adbachman wrote: post #328

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If part of the fun for you is acting like a jerk to other people online, then it means you enjoy acting like a jerk to other people. Context is interesting, but it just means that overall, you’re only sometimes acting like a jerk. You might just be a jerk.

In some contexts competitive back-and-forth insulting is a baked in part of the culture, and is mutually enjoyable. You're only a jerk if you can see that the other person is no longer enjoying it and you continue anyway.

You cannot see the person you’re insulting in an online context so you cannot see if they are “no longer enjoying it”. Engaging in such behavior means you’re a jerk.

Trash talk is also not the same as engaging in trolling. Telling someone you’re going to kick their ass is perhaps reasonable trash talk in some cases. Calling someone racist or sexist epithets is not.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#369

Post by scott_s »

Void_ wrote: post #220
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

That’s not sexism, just being disrespectful. But why are you surprised about this if the next article on HN may be about technology in PornHub? It’s okay to treat women as a piece of meat in porn, but suddenly it’s a big deal if people are making sexual comments?

When "being disrespectful" tends to happen more often to women than men, that is sexism.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#370

Post by optimuspaul »

Belphemur wrote: post #308
eitland wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Disagree strongly. And HN is proof that this isn't (entirely) true. In fact HN is a lot nicer than a number of verified name forums.

We need also to compare the user base ... The user's age on HN is in the ballpark of 25-40 years old, as it's a tech website. The website in OP is a meme generator, and I'm sure the ballpack would be 12-18 years. Now considering this, I agree with alkonaut.

> The user's age on HN is in the ballpark of 25-40 years old, as it's a tech website.

Oh no, I'm aging out, I'm 41.

I'm curious why you put 40 as the top end there. If I were going to guess at an age range for this site I go lower and much higher.

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