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Why Am I So Lazy?

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Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#121

Post by TeMPOraL »

manigandham wrote: post #111
TeMPOraL wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're all wrong wrt. the scientific consensus :). The current consensus is that the ability to concentrate for longer periods on all the bullshit our modern lives are throwing at us is a normally distributed trait in the population, and ADHD is an arbitrary cutoff on that distribution. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16090523 for details.

I'm not sure where I was off - having the ability to concentrate is different than using that ability, and many people are really in the latter group because of a lack of proper discipline and priorities but end up getting diagnosed all too easily as the former.

I don't think I believe in the distinction. "Lack of discipline" is a good descriptive synonym of not being able to focus on unpleasant tasks, yes, but as a way of pointing out a perceived flaw of character, it doesn't feel very useful. After all, a person that "lacks proper discipline" isn't usually able to fix it themselves. You can't "just get" disciplined.

Also having the capacity to concentrate but refraining from using it is an active choice; people doing that won't be complaining that they can't focus.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#122

Post by drdrey »

jdietrich wrote: post #91
ghostcluster wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This article may lend undue weight to certain ideas, incidents, or controversies. Psychologists can't replicate Carol Dweck's 'Growth Mindset' claims: https://www.buzzfeed.com/tomchivers/what-is-your-mindset > The findings of Dweck’s key study have never been replicated in a published paper, which is noteworthy in so high-profile a work. One scientist told BuzzFeed News that his attempt to reproduce the findings ha…

I don't know why this was downvoted. Dweck's claims are the subject of enormous scepticism in the psychology community. Her data is a bit too neat, her effect sizes are consistently stronger than we'd expect, there's a complete lack of replication. It's not being rejected out of hand, but there are a lot of red flags.

On a personal level, I just find life better since my mindset has shifted from static to growth. I used to consider myself only good at logic and programming, and I would not even attempt anything remotely artistic, literary or athletic. I would rationalize this as being part of my identity, and it would conveniently allow me to avoid confronting failure or getting out of my comfort zone. Changing this view of myself has been liberating honestly.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#123

Post by csbowe »

20years wrote: post #25

Maybe she is not lazy at all. Maybe she just doesn't want to work on things that don't motivate or interest her. It is my ultimate goal to never have to work on things that don't interest me if only I can figure out a way to automate all of that ;) The fact that she has succeeded in getting A's with waiting until the last minute and not putting in much effort, indicates that she is very smart. I have noticed that rea…

Agreed. Lazy is lacking the desire to achieve what one considers worth achieving. If tasks like cleaning and laundry are accomplishments worth less within one's mental value system than, say, the feeling of spending time enjoying an excellent TV show then choice is clear.

The key to turning around my perceived lazyness, personally, is about trying to control the value of what I spend my time on.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#124

Post by sanderjd »

codingdave wrote: post #93
bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

Don't lie to your children about their strengths and weaknesses. Help them appreciate that everyone is good at some things, not so good at others, and teach them to figure out which is which, improve what is important to them, and choose their own path through life. Not only will this make them happier with themselves, it will empower them to improve, and help them appreciate the differences of everyone surrounding t…

It seems like a tricky balance to me. I think even adults are quite bad at telling the difference between "I'm not good at this" and "this is a very hard thing". In other words, I fear the message you're suggesting would lead to the list of "things I'm good at" just being all the easy things, and "things I'm not so good at" being all the hard things. This is the classic "I'm bad at math" problem - maybe some people are, but I mostly hear it from people who have bumped up against its fundamentally difficult concepts and have drawn a premature conclusion.

I myself did this after struggling with a really good (ie. hard) chemistry class in high school. I avoided it in college until I was forced to take it, and found that I loved it. I have always regretted drawing a premature conclusion about my aptitude for chemistry.

I don't think you're really wrong, I just think it's much harder than you're making it sound, and I wonder if the cure is worse than the disease.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#125

Post by dsego »

leoc wrote: post #102

This may be relevant: "‘I Thought I Was Lazy’: The Invisible Day-To-Day Struggle For Autistic Women" https://theestablishment.co/i-thought-i-was-lazy-the-invisib...

Could disorganized thought and executive issues in ones 20/30ies be foretelling of some form of dementia in 50/60ies, like frontotemporal dementia?

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#126

Post by enord »

manigandham wrote: post #111
TeMPOraL wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're all wrong wrt. the scientific consensus :). The current consensus is that the ability to concentrate for longer periods on all the bullshit our modern lives are throwing at us is a normally distributed trait in the population, and ADHD is an arbitrary cutoff on that distribution. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16090523 for details.

I'm not sure where I was off - having the ability to concentrate is different than using that ability, and many people are really in the latter group because of a lack of proper discipline and priorities but end up getting diagnosed all too easily as the former.

You're making a moral judgement here, which is both unproductive and hinges on a convenient separation between "ability to concentrate" and "proper discipline and priorities" as if they were orthogonal.

A premise for Adhd is that, for some reason, developement of the latter is delayed causing an apparent lack of the former. The inpairment is in executive control itself, which is why your argument actually is in favour of diagnosis.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#127

Post by dsego »

firekvz wrote: post #28

I tried to read this but I couldnt, thats how lazy I am.

I read it, technically, but didn't actually absorb it. I'm sure I will forget all about this by tomorrow. Doesn't really matter.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#128

Post by uhnuhnuhn »

sanderjd wrote: post #116
pbhjpbhj wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In think this has been shown to get worse results than praising effort. I call my kids out for being lazy when they're being lazy. Examples from this morning "I don't know what the second rucksack is": meaning "I can't be bothered getting it out the rucksack, you do it for me", my answer "You just want someone else to do it, stop being lazy and get it yourself". Also "I can't do it [take off my boots]": meaning "I do…

I think there's an important distinction here: in "stop being lazy" it is a verb, an act which is temporary and can be overcome, while in "he is lazy" it is an adjective, an attribute which can all too easily be taken as an indelible personality trait. I think it's only the latter that can be harmful.

> in "stop being lazy" it is a verb

It isn't.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#129

Post by trevyn »

ianai wrote: post #97
bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

Actually the thing to do is remove the violence of the language. Simply acknowledge whatever situation with no subjective statements. “Your math grade is a C. Would you like tutoring?” Violent language like your examples hurt people. Those hurts sum to resent and ultimately more violence. The following book goes into this in depth: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Marshall B. Rosenberg, Arun Gandhi

“No.”

(Goes off and plays video games.)

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#130

Post by vermilingua »

uhnuhnuhn wrote: post #128
sanderjd wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there's an important distinction here: in "stop being lazy" it is a verb, an act which is temporary and can be overcome, while in "he is lazy" it is an adjective, an attribute which can all too easily be taken as an indelible personality trait. I think it's only the latter that can be harmful.

> in "stop being lazy" it is a verb It isn't.

No, but "being lazy" is an action, which can be stopped. It's much harder to stop being lazy if you are being told it's a facet of your identity.
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