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Why Am I So Lazy?

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Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#101

Post by TeMPOraL »

rwnspace wrote: post #82
TeMPOraL wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed there is, and the way psychiatry approaches it in terms of diagnosis isn't really good, either. There is a long but very insightful article on this topic that was recently featured on HN, by Scott Alexander, who's a practicing psychiatrist: http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/12/28/adderall-risks-much-mor... Key quote for this topic: > But “ability to concentrate” is a normally distributed trait, like IQ. We draw a…

I would argue that there is a discrete population with the 'disease' of ADHD, in the same way that doorways are a discrete difficulty for people who are very tall. One must either move into a house with very tall doorways, or learn to stoop. In any case, you'll probably often bang your head. This analogises to ADHD because failure to meet social and societal expectations often has real (and occasionally very painful)…

That's a good point. A trait might be normally distributed, but (trait × some environment factor) may have a bimodal distribution (or multimodal, or something else entirely). Haven't considered it, thanks!

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#103

Post by andrew_wc_brown »

bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

As a chid I was told I was smart, as you suggested and to fit the description of what I was labeled, I resorted to chronically lying about my skills to measure up.

There's no sliver bullet to this problem.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#105

Post by pbhjpbhj »

koonsolo wrote: post #70
UncleEntity wrote: post #59

> You’re choosing a lifestyle of avoidance and low expectations. What's wrong with that? Some people have laid their heart open to the benign indifference of the universe and are just like: "what's the point?"

There is nothing wrong with that. But in this case there is, because it doesn't make her happy.

You can choose then to try to become happy with it, or to change it. The parents point may have been that there are options.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#106

Post by 0xcde4c3db »

ghostcluster wrote: post #86
bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

This idea, while tempting to lend weight to on the surface, is highly overblown. Stereotype Threat doesn't hold up to repeated testing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rabble-rouser/201512/is... And what's more, this "grit" trait, the propensity to follow through and get stuff done, appears to be a set of inherited traits as well. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-limits-of...

Wow. That description of the Seahawks milieu says to me that it's not developing traits like grit and optimism, but rather selecting for them. I wonder if intervention studies for this sort of thing ought to be done with intention-to-treat analysis, just like with drug studies [1].

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention-to-treat_analysis

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#107

Post by maroonblazer »

hacker_9 wrote: post #89
Morizero wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The name for this topic is fixed vs growth mindset: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindset#Fixed_and_growth You'll see that and related phrases as buzzwords sometimes.

I don't know why these terms are thrown out like they're useless, as they pretty much explain most people's way of thinking. If you give up you have a fixed mindset, where you simply think you weren't born to be good enough to know something. Whereas a growth mindset will try to break down the problem into smaller chunks and try to figure them out first, and grow their knowledge. It often just takes mentioning these…

I'm my own sample but when I was growing up and got C's and lower my parents' consistent message was that I had certain 'gifts' but it required me to put in the effort in order to reap the benefits of those gifts.

I'm not sure they meant it this way but now that I'm older I realize that those 'gifts' could simply have been a healthy brain, free of any obvious learning disability, chronic fatigue or ADHD-like symptoms. And lo and behold, when I did in fact put in the effort I'd get Bs and As.

As a parent I use that approach with my son and, so far, it seems to be working.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#108

Post by 0xcde4c3db »

adrusi wrote: post #50
manigandham wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's just normal, not ADHD (which is way too overdiagnosed at this point and would fit 90% of people I meet). People are lazy, but they also do not want to completely ruin their life, so they will wait until they realize they cant wait anymore, doing the minimum amount at the last minute to meet the goal.

What do you think ADHD is? It's defined by its diagnostic criteria, and those are very vague. There's certainly no consensus that ADHD is anything other than a term to describe the lowest performers on the metrics which Adderall improves. ADHD is definitely not some kind of genetic defect of the prefrontal cortex or anything of that sort.

> ADHD is definitely not some kind of genetic defect of the prefrontal cortex or anything of that sort.

Not in the sense that it's definitively tied to a specific pathway disrupted by this or that SNP, but it appears to be heritable in much the same way that height is heritable.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#109

Post by perfmode »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #85
bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

In think this has been shown to get worse results than praising effort. I call my kids out for being lazy when they're being lazy. Examples from this morning "I don't know what the second rucksack is": meaning "I can't be bothered getting it out the rucksack, you do it for me", my answer "You just want someone else to do it, stop being lazy and get it yourself". Also "I can't do it [take off my boots]": meaning "I do…

Be careful with the coldness.

This may backfire on you down the road.

Your children may stop respecting you as they gain independence.

Re: Why Am I So Lazy?

#110

Post by specialist »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #85
bambax wrote: post #52

> I see this shit every day in other parents: “She hates to read!” “He’s lazy!” “She’s bad at math!” You are imprisoning your kid with your words, fuckers! That's spot on. It's really upsetting to hear people say that about children, especially people with authority (parents, grandparents). DON'T DO THAT! Or, if you have to do that (!?!) at least be positive. Don't tell a kid she's bad at math, tell her she's good at…

In think this has been shown to get worse results than praising effort. I call my kids out for being lazy when they're being lazy. Examples from this morning "I don't know what the second rucksack is": meaning "I can't be bothered getting it out the rucksack, you do it for me", my answer "You just want someone else to do it, stop being lazy and get it yourself". Also "I can't do it [take off my boots]": meaning "I do…

Context. Tearing down vs empowering.

I loved volunteering in my son's classroom(s). But I admit to having rage-fits when a beautiful, sweet, talented little 6 year old boy forfeits on a task, telling me "I'm stupid, I can't do anything".

There's no question how his parents talked to him.

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