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Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

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Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#61

Post by zrail »

nasredin wrote: post #25
AlexCoventry wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can see that principle at work in the interrogation of Reality Winner. https://www.politico.com/f/?id=0000015e-c5e7-ddab-a57f-cfe7d...

If the FBI shows up at your door, and act very nicely, very friendly... but they have a search warrant... It's not a speeding ticket, you are not gonna out talk them out of searching your house... so you should... not talk?!

Correct. Do not talk to law enforcement without legal representation present. If the FBI shows up at your door with a search warrant your first action is to take the warrant and call an attorney.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#62

Post by branchless »

_m8fo wrote: post #9

Ｉwonder if the existence of said "tips"ｉｓ ｗｈｙ ｍａｎｙ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ ｆｉｎｄ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ ｉｎｓｉｎｃｅｒｅ．

Many Europeans regard Americans as insincere in social interactions. I suspect many of these "tips" would fall very flat outside the USA. Americans always want to be your best friend, then it becomes clear at the end of the conversation that it meant nothing to them. Kind of a shame as it masks genuine kindness.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#63

Post by [deleted] »

wallace_f wrote: post #46
heartbreak wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in that position, but I simply do not understand why you wouldn’t ask to have an attorney present for the questioning.

What she leaked didn't hurt the deep state or the plutocracy, nor did it help the people. She is either hopelessly naive in all of her actions, or controlled. Probably the former.

[deleted]

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#64

Post by candiodari »

sliverstorm wrote: post #60
heartbreak wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in that position, but I simply do not understand why you wouldn’t ask to have an attorney present for the questioning.

I don't exactly have an attorney on retainer or a generous "legal expenses" cost center.

You don't need one on retainer. When they say one will be assigned, they're not kidding. They will get you one.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#65

Post by eeZah7Ux »

EasyTiger_ wrote: post #24
zschuessler wrote: post #6

One tip mentioned is to raise your eyebrows. As example: when you first meet someone, raise your eyebrows slightly (or one), smile, and tilt your head and greet them. Making someone else feel special makes you charming. Along the same lines: I find that voice cadences, and inflection, work pretty well for being charming! Take time to enuncicate the whole sentence you want to say, throw emotion into your words. And if…

How grossly manipulative

> How grossly manipulative

Thanks for this. It's interesting to see that the main comment threads are:

- how interrogations leverage psychological manipulation to divulge information - how to use verbal and visual tricks - tabeth pointing out how people perceive social interactions as insincere

Yet a lot of people claim that it's ok to deploy psychological manipulation when your intentions are "good".

It's been said that the end doesn't justify the means.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#66

Post by smnrchrds »

nasredin wrote: post #25
AlexCoventry wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can see that principle at work in the interrogation of Reality Winner. https://www.politico.com/f/?id=0000015e-c5e7-ddab-a57f-cfe7d...

If the FBI shows up at your door, and act very nicely, very friendly... but they have a search warrant... It's not a speeding ticket, you are not gonna out talk them out of searching your house... so you should... not talk?!

They are professionals with a single goal in mind and years of combined training and practice to learn how to acheive it. If you think you can somehow talk them out of doing what they came to do and not put yourself in a worse position than what you began with [1], you are either a very good criminal lawyer or are being naïve.

[1] e.g. by making a false statement in violation of 18 USC 1001, and trust me, they will be counting on it and have planned for it)

https://www.popehat.com/2007/10/26/shutupshutupshutupshutup/

https://www.popehat.com/2011/03/18/just-a-friendly-reminder-...

https://www.popehat.com/2011/12/01/reminder-oh-wont-you-plea...

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#67

Post by jnbiche »

schoen wrote: post #40
heartbreak wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in that position, but I simply do not understand why you wouldn’t ask to have an attorney present for the questioning.

I feel like this is something people have to consciously practice and remind themselves of. I work for a civil liberties organization. Yet a few years ago two patrol officers in a train station in New York managed to interrogate me using a classic "good cop, bad cop" method -- about photographs that I was taking. I felt especially weird about this afterward because I had been reading news articles about people's lega…

> Making sure that her pets are properly taken care of is something that she needs from the agents and that's outside of her control in this situation.

Exactly, and she knows that pets frequently get shot in situations like the one she was in (although to be fair, that's usually with city and state police depts, not the FBI).

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#68

Post by jimhefferon »

branchless wrote: post #62
_m8fo wrote: post #9

Ｉwonder if the existence of said "tips"ｉｓ ｗｈｙ ｍａｎｙ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ ｆｉｎｄ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ ｉｎｓｉｎｃｅｒｅ．

Many Europeans regard Americans as insincere in social interactions. I suspect many of these "tips" would fall very flat outside the USA. Americans always want to be your best friend, then it becomes clear at the end of the conversation that it meant nothing to them. Kind of a shame as it masks genuine kindness.

I agree that there is something like an Overton window in social interactions and that it is centered at different points of the continuum in different cultures. Still, for some people at least (me!) thinking about where I sit in that window in my culture is interesting and I hope helpful.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#69

Post by nasredin »

smnrchrds wrote: post #66
nasredin wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If the FBI shows up at your door, and act very nicely, very friendly... but they have a search warrant... It's not a speeding ticket, you are not gonna out talk them out of searching your house... so you should... not talk?!

They are professionals with a single goal in mind and years of combined training and practice to learn how to acheive it. If you think you can somehow talk them out of doing what they came to do and not put yourself in a worse position than what you began with [1], you are either a very good criminal lawyer or are being naïve. [1] e.g. by making a false statement in violation of 18 USC 1001, and trust me, they will b…

I meant the OP as she should have been smart enough (spoke 3 ME languages IIRC) to realize she should stop talking.

IF she did something illegal, she must have thought a day like that may come and had prepared herself.

It's interesting that people who should know better keep falling for these techniques, e.g. General Flynn.

Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming

#70

Post by oneeyedpigeon »

EasyTiger_ wrote: post #24
zschuessler wrote: post #6

One tip mentioned is to raise your eyebrows. As example: when you first meet someone, raise your eyebrows slightly (or one), smile, and tilt your head and greet them. Making someone else feel special makes you charming. Along the same lines: I find that voice cadences, and inflection, work pretty well for being charming! Take time to enuncicate the whole sentence you want to say, throw emotion into your words. And if…

How grossly manipulative

So much so that some of it appears bordering on psychopathy: concentrate on the colours in someone's eyes to pretend you care about what they're saying, indeed!
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