Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
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Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#2Any good book recommendations on engaging small talk and authentic first impressions? I’m headed to a weeklong NYE retreat that has a tendency to dredge up high school cafeteria level social anxieties.
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#3While some of these may be good tips, they don't exactly sound effortless.
Also does refocusing your eyes actually make you look engaged? Sometimes people I talk to appear to be doing that and it comes off a bit shady.
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#4The article mentions getting someone to like you unnaturally fast to divulge information.
This happened to me once. I was a character reference for a friend who needed security clearance for a position in the UK, and they sent a a guy to come and interview me. About 45 minutes later I came out of the room and quickly realised I'd been mined for information (all good, luckily for my friend). While it was happening it felt like we were having just a nice chat. Afterwards I was totally exhausted. A very strange experience.
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#5Any good book recommendations on engaging small talk and authentic first impressions? I’m headed to a weeklong NYE retreat that has a tendency to dredge up high school cafeteria level social anxieties.
A while back I read Never Eat Alone [0], and found it to be fruitful for framing casual social interactions.
Additionally, most other people do not look forward to "mindless smalltalk with strangers". Since it's possible that everyone in the group shares equal anxiety about being there, you can provide a gift to them by asking pointed questions. If it's easy for them to answer, and gives something interesting for everyone else to listen to, it's actually a lot of pressure off the whole group.
The go-to question I use is:
what's the best book you've read in the last year or so? Why?
Since not everyone reads, that question can be amended to "best movie/tv show/documentary".
I'm often the new guy in certain work situations, and that question has saved me a lot of discomfort.
good luck!
[0] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00H6JBFOS/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?...
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#6One tip mentioned is to raise your eyebrows. As example: when you first meet someone, raise your eyebrows slightly (or one), smile, and tilt your head and greet them. Making someone else feel special makes you charming.
Along the same lines: I find that voice cadences, and inflection, work pretty well for being charming! Take time to enuncicate the whole sentence you want to say, throw emotion into your words. And if you happen to do the eyebrow trick at the same time - it's charm overload.
Surprised audio cues weren't mentioned more :-)
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#7The article mentions getting someone to like you unnaturally fast to divulge information. This happened to me once. I was a character reference for a friend who needed security clearance for a position in the UK, and they sent a a guy to come and interview me. About 45 minutes later I came out of the room and quickly realised I'd been mined for information (all good, luckily for my friend). While it was happening it…
You can see that principle at work in the interrogation of Reality Winner. https://www.politico.com/f/?id=0000015e-c5e7-ddab-a57f-cfe7d...
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#8Why are these framed as tricks?
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#9Ｉwonder if the existence of said "tips"ｉｓ ｗｈｙ ｍａｎｙ ｐｅｏｐｌｅ ｆｉｎｄ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ ｉｎｓｉｎｃｅｒｅ．
Re: Tricks to make yourself effortlessly charming
#10While some of these may be good tips, they don't exactly sound effortless. Also does refocusing your eyes actually make you look engaged? Sometimes people I talk to appear to be doing that and it comes off a bit shady.
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