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Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

nautil.us

201–210 of 211 posts

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#201

So as a girl working in tech, all I remember about facebook back when I had one was everytime a new girl started working at our company, all the guys flocked to one guys computer and they stalked the crap out of her one Facebook, and by the time she walked through the door they knew who she was dating, had already decided he wasn't good enough for her and were already in competition to date her and trying to woo her…

That's not just the tech industry. I've never worked in a place that it doesn't happen. I've uncomfortably watched it in the past but took a hard line when a female coworker's first question to me about my new hire was: "Is she hot?"

I responded rather abruptly and forcefully so that everyone within earshot could hear: "She's quite good at what she does."

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you kidding? I'm an X'er and my parents are boomers, and I can assure you we all had an absolute ball before Facebook came along. "Not going out in the evenings to see friends, sitting watching TV, having narrow social lives" - seriously? Maybe in your family / community / culture, but not mine, and not many, many others too. I'd even be tempted to speculate that those of us who aren't Facebook addicts are the on…

What geographic area is that? I was born in Australia in the late 70s and the picture you paint of pre/post Facebook doesn't ring true to my experience.

Midlands of the UK, then various places around Europe, then Australia (since well before Facebook). I think we're probably seeing "the plural of anecdote is not data" in effect?

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#203
post #90
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Media sources designed to target confirmation biases, echo chambers, and viral fake news are a negative influence in all politics. Why do you think they mean only negative towards their side?

> Media sources designed to target confirmation biases, echo chambers, and viral fake news So you mean basically every political campaigns? Not sure how in touch you are with local politics, but the local political TV ads I see every night have been like this for years

You're right, I mean (many) of those too. People have been discussing negative and positive effects (on all sides of the political spectrum) of television and TV ads for a long time.

Now we're discussing Facebook, because it just recently gained so much of this power, and it seems to be uniquely good at causing these negative symptoms.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#204
post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Gee, sounds like you shouldn’t have had kids if you wanted to fly into Chicago or New York every night. Having children is a choice. Looks like you’ve made yours.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#205
post #45
post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe people finally got the point that all their "social engagement" is pretty useless.

So what is useful in your life?

Good question. Posting on Twitter it surely is not. I enjoy going out and meeting friends. Either for sports and tech meeetups.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As long as you're willing to accept the burdens of using FB as a panopticon. You get the blatant ads, the furtive ads, the manipulative filtering, the spam, the agit-prop. Ma Bell never barged in with a jingle when I used to call my grandmother. There is no cost/benefit analysis here. You can't cast this in a positive light relative to any previous means of social connection. It's absolute shit. I've come to the conc…

> There is no cost/benefit analysis here. You're literally doing a cost/benefit analysis. You seem to be assuming that such an analysis implies there there has to be substantial benefits, or something like that. (I'm not commenting here on whether they do or don't exist in the case of Facebook)

Let's write down the recipe for an modern social media comment:

1. Take person literally to a fault in order to create a counterpoint.

2. Say obviously true, yet embarrassingly vague things to defend that counterpoint.

3. Respond "I'm not talking about that" when any possibility of nuance would enter the discussion.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#207
post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

>That’s what Facebook is replacing, and it’s a huge improvement.

The frame of reference of TV might not be the right one. I think the counterfactual scenario is a better comparison point. We should consider what the internet and social media COULD have been had it not been monopolized by a handful of closed, ad-tech motivated platforms.

The internet before Facebook was still a social place that fostered connections between people. I made friends all over the world through UseNet, IRC, PHPBB forums, personal blogs like Xanga or MySpace, and other such platforms. But those weren't conducive to collecting data or serving advertising, so we they fell behind on investment, development, and market penetration.

Even Facebook didn't used to focus on a feed on informations shoved in your face, that was the ad platform they built on top of it. It used to be a collection of personal profile pages, essentially a mini-bio to look people up on. They had associated forum groups you could make/sign up for to socialize with individual groups of people. They've since turned those from conversational groups into "pages" that you subscribe to, better to have content pushed at you but less good at fostering conversation among people.

There are still good group-chatting platforms for actual friends to talk to each other. I keep in touch with my family around the world through WhatsApp (since colonized by Facebook natch). I maintain friendships with people from my MMO days through GroupMe. And I hear the kids today are all about Discord. These all facilitate more human-to-human interactions than platforms like Facebook or Instagram do, IMO.

Discussion forums maintain a persistent sense of identity for the participants so you interact foremost with a person and secondarily with whatever they happen to be saying at a given time on a given topic. Stuff like Facebook privileges content first, so the focus is on the message itself and secondarily on the person making it (good for marketing, bad for socializing).

Even discussion forums like HN or Reddit focus on content over identity. The old PHP forums had avatars and garish signatures and a whole bunch of other visual cues to give each speaker a distinct identity. Everything anyone said is strongly associated with an individual so you build up reputation and identity over time, which is essential for developing a form of community. Platforms like this make one person's comments indistinguishable from any other, so it becomes really hard to develop human connections with anyone.

You don't even need avatars and visual cues. IRC didn't have those, but what it did have was a requirement that someone had to BE IN THE ROOM to see what you're saying. So it's a vibe that's more like a conversation in a pub. You actually have to be aware of who is around and listening when you talk rather than screaming into a whirlwind of activity and seeing who replies. It's cozier. You're aware that you're talking specifically to a group of people that is around, which causes you to put yourself in their shoes when you talk rather than being all solipsistic.

And all of that is before we even get into the gross KPI-derived metrics (likes, shares, ratios, etc.) for evaluating our contributions that Facebook-style social media does which is a whole separate and disgusting thing.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I feel like the authors of all these hitpieces are personally unable to engage in healthy, limited usage of it, so they cast it as as some universal evil that every person is powerless to resist. I can smoke cigarettes responsibly. One every few weeks, which I have researched and believe does not negatively impact my health. In fact, it provides a moment of stress relief that outweighs possible negatives. How do yo…

You should read the article, and my comment, a little more closely before responding. You're making a massive, unwarranted leap from "not a universal evil" to "must not have any legislation around it". I also don't think cars are pure evil....do you assume that I think that cars should be 100% unregulated? I'm specifically complaining about the maximalizing tendency of the author and others on this post: casting Face…

Some interesting points, but I think you put a lot into my comment that wasn't there. I suspect it will be impossible for us to communicate empathetically as we have both apparently misunderstood each other.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#209
post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Having quit Facebook some 4+ years ago, I think about these things too and have come to the conclusion that: a) I don't need to know about the project my distant friend is working on, or the food anyone is making or eating* . b) A solution that existed before Facebook were X-Mas cards. So, I think that's what I'll be doing when I no longer see my parents and close friends daily. * On a side note, my mom calls my gran…

my wife and I both quit.. I have a livly but not to often group text with most of my family - I drop a picture there. There is no real need for fb

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#210

I confess, most of what I consume via the internet is of little use to me. Sure, some of it might be interesting; some of it my present itself as relevant; but most of it (the truth is) life would go on without it. Don't take this the wrong way, but push come to shove, HN falls into this low truly impactful life nutrition as well. This is not a critique. It's just that despite my semi-best attempts the signal to noic…

Absolutely spot on. I hope one day we'll have better ways to filter out meaningful posts and comments out of the noise.

Yes. But it also takes self-filtering. You have to forces yourself to "Just say/do no." :)

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to learn new things. But I'm finding - as I look in the mirror - that I'm picking up too much (what amounts to) trivia. And that the human connects are far from legit.

But this is my doing. I've forgotten to say "no thank you." But admitting I have the problem is my first step to addressing it.

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