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Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

nautil.us

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Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#101

Post by sabmalik »

As with a lot of other issues these days, it feels like that people forget there is usually a middle ground between the extremes. FB like any other tool can be a good or bad thing.

I spent a bit of time thinking about what I want to get out of Facebook.

- Social pulse - What are people talking about these days?

- Interesting/new content/new perspective/taking advantage of the echo chamber etc

- Keeping track of the very few physically-distant people that I care about

- Share some content that I think people would benefit from and wouldn't come across otherwise

- Buying/selling rarely in the marketplace

- Quick diary where I can store stuff that I found interesting

I took a few steps to get what I wanted out of the platform.

- Follow only the people that post content I might be interested in. It includes people that somewhat think like me and some that have very different opinions.

- Follow some of the content aggregation sites

- I only post content that is fit for public consumption except when I rarely share a photo of my kids/family

- Moved the FB app from the first screen to the last

How it has helped me.

- Cut down my usage by about 90%

- I am less concerned about privacy issues when it comes to FB as there isn't much on there that I wouldn't say out loud in public

- I kinda get a broad spectrum of how people are feeling about an issue

- More quality content than I used to get before. One of my favourite features on FB is "Save post". When I have a few minutes, I find stuff from my saved list or Pocket to read/watch.

- I see more photos of the people that I actually like rather than memes and quotes

I am pretty okay with how social media is involved in my life now.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#102

Post by fineline »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Are you kidding? I'm an X'er and my parents are boomers, and I can assure you we all had an absolute ball before Facebook came along. "Not going out in the evenings to see friends, sitting watching TV, having narrow social lives" - seriously? Maybe in your family / community / culture, but not mine, and not many, many others too.

I'd even be tempted to speculate that those of us who aren't Facebook addicts are the ones who are able to socialise just fine without it, thank you very much, if it weren't for the fact that I know plenty of good-living, fun-loving Facebookers too.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#104

Post by bitexploder »

rayiner wrote: post #83
sonnyz wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the point of his/her post is to show that from his/her perspective, the "connection" you get to friends and family via facebook isn't valuable. Although it may be to some, it isn't to everyone. I have to agree, as someone that quit many years ago and hasn't looked back since. I still communicate with my long distance relatives, just not publicly. I use a combination of Google Hangouts, email, and just plain o…

> I use a combination of Google Hangouts, email, and just plain old phone calls to keep up to date with their lives. I share photos daily, via google photos, directly to those that I want to see them. And my family, who happen to use Facebook, know to send me photos using other methods. This seems like an inconvenience you impose on everyone else to do things Facebook handles natively.

I have learned I just don't need to live social life with distant relatives and friends every day. The important things filter to the surface of your life as do the important people. I get more value out of a longer email or a 15 minute phone call than a bunch of shallow interactions on Facebook.

I suspect over time we will learn that Facebook and the like is actually poor at maintaining social relationships in a meaningful way. It seems like it works but I maintain my social network dine without it. And yes I am fine having far fewer, but quality interactions. I don't think I impose any cost on my friends and family. If we can't chat once in a while via voice or video we just aren't that important....

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#106

Post by kenning »

j_s wrote: post #103

I use the http://www.fbpurity.com/ extension to micro-manage what shows up on my newsfeed. "Junk food" is probably putting it nicely, many skip straight to comparing to one of various illicit drugs.

I think cigarettes are a great comparison. I heard it a few years back.

When popular, a huge amount of the population used cigarettes despite growing research showing that it had a slight but consistent harmful effect. A hooked individual is unlikely to stop using even when given this evidence, as the product is addictive and gets stronger with network effects. Younger generations understood the harm better and had to avoid regular temptation to engage.

Comparisons to heroin are overblown. Nobody is losing their identity, money or life due to facebook. It's just a little bad and very addictive.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#107

Post by kenning »

babygoat wrote: post #100
Top19 wrote: post #87

Suggestion: go to church. It’s a built in community of people who are likely there because of ritual and tradition (am Catholic) and do not care about talking about startups or entrepreneurship (a breathtaking relief sometimes). Church and religion has gotten a lot well-justified complaints over the years, but by liberal and moderately-conservative people abandoning it in droves, it only made it more conservative and…

What if I can’t go to church because I can’t forgive them for protecting priests who raped children? How did you get past that?

Try a different church, Buddhist and Quaker churches are great for left-leaning people.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#108

Post by coffeemug »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

That used to be the case for me, but now a lot of that energy moved to WhatsApp (which is also Facebook, but a different product). It's better in every way -- the communication is private, it's two way so people feel closer, and I don't get overwhelmed by memes and ads.

This probably couldn't have happened without Facebook proper (now my parents are on WhatsApp), but I think mobile chat groups are a much better form-factor for the type of communication you want.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#109

Post by 0xcde4c3db »

Top19 wrote: post #98
CorpOverreach wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Also if you think “hey I can’t go to church they don’t believe in XYZ” What if that "XYZ" is the god that the church believes in? Or no god at all? I really wish there was an alternative to "go to church", because I do agree with you on the community aspect. To me it's just a shame that probably the most efficient way of connecting with people is still via religious beliefs.

There is an old joke that Wikipedia doesn’t work in theory but it does in reality. In the same way, Church’s don’t make a lot of sense but they’ve worked for thousands of years. I kind of think of it as a thing like the family, which also doesn’t make sense in some regards, but it’s proven its “value”. I hate using that argument because you could argue for a lot of stupid things that way, but it’s one way of looking…

I feel like you didn't answer the main question. What if I recognize the potential value in all of the things you mention, but don't believe in God and don't want to lie to people about it?

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#110

Post by rayiner »

bitexploder wrote: post #104
rayiner wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I use a combination of Google Hangouts, email, and just plain old phone calls to keep up to date with their lives. I share photos daily, via google photos, directly to those that I want to see them. And my family, who happen to use Facebook, know to send me photos using other methods. This seems like an inconvenience you impose on everyone else to do things Facebook handles natively.

I have learned I just don't need to live social life with distant relatives and friends every day. The important things filter to the surface of your life as do the important people. I get more value out of a longer email or a 15 minute phone call than a bunch of shallow interactions on Facebook. I suspect over time we will learn that Facebook and the like is actually poor at maintaining social relationships in a mea…

There isn’t some set number of relationships you can have such that you’ve got to pick out the “important” ones.
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