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Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

nautil.us

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Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#51

Post by [deleted] »

amha wrote: post #33
git-pull wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Ask yourself, do I really need and care for this contact? Remove people that do not add value to your life. I do a different test. It's called "Do you care about me?" If I got in a car crash over the weekend, would you even know? If you found out, would you visit me in the hospital? If the answer is yes: but they're family, I already have their contact info. For non-family, that group fluctuates, and more often tha…

Organizing your life to minimize "drama, breakups, [and] regrets" and maximize "time to get work done" is a good way to end up unhappy and lonely. Work is important, but your work can't love you back.

[deleted]

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#52

Post by dsr_ »

ben_jones wrote: post #34
rxhernandez wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I deleted my Facebook in 2010 and it stayed deleted until the end of 2016. Now I get invited to more events, my friends no longer feel like distant strangers when I see them for the first time in months and I know how all my family is doing. It really sucks seeing how much more of a life some people have through facebook but research is a lifestyle and I knew what I signed up for. Your miles may vary though as I have…

As someone toying with the idea of "getting back into" social media, how did you go about making your profile "normal"? I'm not the type to take tons of selfies, so do I just start out with a shitty profile picture? I feel like it'll look like a fake account, or me like a weird dude, compared to my friends who all have amazing profiles. ^^^ And this is the type of mentality that makes me not want to use social media…

There's only one thing a profile pic needs to do: reliably signal that this is the specific person of that name that people are looking for.

A reasonably well-lit picture of your face will serve admirably. Serious or happy or amused are good expressions; try not to look angry or sad. There, you're done.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#53

Post by eeZah7Ux »

chiefalchemist wrote: post #26

I confess, most of what I consume via the internet is of little use to me. Sure, some of it might be interesting; some of it my present itself as relevant; but most of it (the truth is) life would go on without it. Don't take this the wrong way, but push come to shove, HN falls into this low truly impactful life nutrition as well. This is not a critique. It's just that despite my semi-best attempts the signal to noic…

Absolutely spot on. I hope one day we'll have better ways to filter out meaningful posts and comments out of the noise.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#54

Post by badestrand »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

I would love it if Facebook worked that way for me. But unfortunately its just selfies and crappy shares of motivational or "funny" memes. The people that I am interested in mostly never post anything - and me neither, because I a) would like to share with close friends and family but not everyone I am connected to* and b) I find it too stressful to having to worry that my post won't garner many likes and thus will be a "social failure"

* Yes, I know that I can set the target group but I never set it up and is too much work for just a small posting

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#55

Post by caterama »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Having quit Facebook some 4+ years ago, I think about these things too and have come to the conclusion that:

a) I don't need to know about the project my distant friend is working on, or the food anyone is making or eating* .

b) A solution that existed before Facebook were X-Mas cards. So, I think that's what I'll be doing when I no longer see my parents and close friends daily.

* On a side note, my mom calls my grandma for an hour or so weekly and they frequently talk about what they cooked and exchange recipes, but that's more personal than a Facebook/Instagram post.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#56

Post by eighthnate »

abootstrapper wrote: post #49
eighthnate wrote: post #46

The past 3 months, there hasn't been a single day on HN without a post attacking FB specifically or social media in general by news organizations or other "journalists/writers". Not only that, we get the same generic "I deleted facebook and I feel great" comments. Certainly this isn't the work of the russian trolls. Then who or what is behind the constant "I hate social media" spam.

What if a lot of us actually hate social media.

Then why are you on hacker news - a social media site?

I've never had a facebook account. Not a fan of facebook or zuck. But doesn't mean I going to spam social media with "I hate social media" articles.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#57

Post by astura »

tenpies wrote: post #39
amha wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Organizing your life to minimize "drama, breakups, [and] regrets" and maximize "time to get work done" is a good way to end up unhappy and lonely. Work is important, but your work can't love you back.

> Work is important, but your work can't love you back. Work is where we spend the majority of our time and I suspect that >50% of adult friendship originates at work. It is important to think of work as a social activity and put some effort. Even if you are very much a "work to live" person, it is worth knowing your co-workers well enough to decide if you want to pursue them as friends.

I am awake for approximately 112 hours a week, only 40 is spent at work. That's only 36% of my time spent at work, that's not even including vacations. Very far from the majority of my time.

If you consider time spent at work as a "social activity" I would suggest spending more time working while at work.

Most people do not meet their good, actual, lasting friends at work, usually work friendships are pretty superficial. Most fade once you aren't required to see each other every day.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#58

Post by Spooky23 »

rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Facebook is giving you the illusion of having relationships and appeals to some nostalgic programming in our brains.

I have a once close friend who moved out to Oregon from the east coast. I talk to him every two years when somebody dies at home. Knowing that his kid won the pinewood derby doesn’t give us anything more in common.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#59

Post by rtpg »

caterama wrote: post #55
rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Having quit Facebook some 4+ years ago, I think about these things too and have come to the conclusion that: a) I don't need to know about the project my distant friend is working on, or the food anyone is making or eating* . b) A solution that existed before Facebook were X-Mas cards. So, I think that's what I'll be doing when I no longer see my parents and close friends daily. * On a side note, my mom calls my gran…

I've been trying to cut back on FB recently (and HN, though with a bit less success...), and I've found that just filtering out high-volume posters helps a lot.

If most of your friends only post once a week or so you might just see 5 or 10 posts in a day. And usually it's somewhat interesting.

Not having the app and staying logged out by default also helps. I'll just scroll through facebook once every couple of days now, instead of the old "10 times a day". And I don't feel like I'm missing much except for being a bit late to reply to event invites.

Re: Facebook Is the Junk Food of Socializing (2015)

#60

Post by anigbrowl »

caterama wrote: post #55
rayiner wrote: post #42

These articles ignore people’s real alternatives. I’m in my 30s and have a small child. While I love to fly into Chicago or New York for a night of drinking with my still-single friends, that’s not really something I get to do more than once every couple of months. Seeing my wife’s extended family (3,000 miles away in the west coast) is a once every year thing, and seeing my extended family (7,000 miles away in Asia)…

Having quit Facebook some 4+ years ago, I think about these things too and have come to the conclusion that: a) I don't need to know about the project my distant friend is working on, or the food anyone is making or eating* . b) A solution that existed before Facebook were X-Mas cards. So, I think that's what I'll be doing when I no longer see my parents and close friends daily. * On a side note, my mom calls my gran…

This isn't helpful. Fine, you don't care about your distant friends/relatives daily activities, but that's no help to those of us who do. I live in California and some people who are personally important to me live in florida. I talk to them at least once a day but on an ad-hoc basis, so email isn't that suitable.

Edit: corrected geographic confusion

Really, what is the point of a post like yours other than to negate the post that came before it by articulating why you don't care about the issue raised?

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