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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#321
post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree but some of these things sound like moral panics about black rectangles. I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

As a transhumanist, I see the recent advertisement campaign for device-free dinners as an implicit accusation that devices necessarily inhibit interpersonal engagement rather than enhance it. A device-free social event makes as much sense to me as having an equipment-free sporting event. Imagine playing baseball without bats, balls, or gloves. Imagine soccer without balls or goals. The family dinner with meaningful c…

>As a transhumanist, I see the recent advertisement campaign for device-free dinners as an implicit accusation that devices necessarily inhibit interpersonal engagement rather than enhance it.

They do inhibit it.

I think it's funny that we live in this amazing world of sights, smells, movement, filled with other animals and humans with all sorts of physical and social activities to choose from, but instead we choose to take the blue pill so we can look at a tiny glass square displaying mostly advertising and trivialities, with a horrible user interface.

The only explanation I can think of is that phones are addictive. Smartphones set up a reward system that displaces more enjoyable and useful behaviours.

It's like we've become those people tethered to slot machines at a casino continuously swiping at these devices. They don't even 'pay out' most of the time. It's sad.

I'd prefer to just be a human, thanks.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#322
post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree but some of these things sound like moral panics about black rectangles. I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

As a transhumanist, I see the recent advertisement campaign for device-free dinners as an implicit accusation that devices necessarily inhibit interpersonal engagement rather than enhance it. A device-free social event makes as much sense to me as having an equipment-free sporting event. Imagine playing baseball without bats, balls, or gloves. Imagine soccer without balls or goals. The family dinner with meaningful c…

> A device-free social event makes as much sense to me as having an equipment-free sporting event.

A bad analogy is like an equipment-free sporting event: it has no objectively measurable goals.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#323

I'm a retired geek but I do tractor work, I just pulled a 14 hour day and I'm having some wine so salt heavily. In my opinion, the best thing you can do with kids is create boredom. If they have access to a shop, or some lumber, they will start to build stuff. If kids are bored and they turn that into building, that's the first step towards getting into a good undergrad school. Building stuff is good. The hard part,…

> I'm ashamed to admit that I like private schools, but wow, have they been good for my kids. Nothing to be ashamed about. You want the best for your children and private schools get more money. The problem is not that private schools are better, but that public schools are so much worse. The people feeling shame should be the politicians who have worked and continue to work to dismantle the public education system (…

I think the difference is not that public school systems are being dismantled but that a higher percentage of private school parents value education and are engaged in their childrens' learning.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#324

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On the contrary. Being able to communicate with parents at any time lets them take more calculated risks and grow more independent. If I had a cellphone when I was a kid, taking the bus for the first time would not have been so terrifying.

>If I had a cellphone when I was a kid, taking the bus for the first time would not have been so terrifying. // Isn't it being "terrifying" and yet you having the gumption to do it what builds your character and prepares you to take on things without having your hand held? You were relying on your self - your skills, your organisation; and not on your parents?

Having a way to talk to parents in an emergency isn't having your hand held. It's like a parachute that allows you to do more dangerous things than you would do otherwise. I didn't end up actually using that cellphone because I didn't get lost, but that doesn't mean the phone was useless.

Maybe this is not the case anymore because phones are cheap but when I was a kid I felt proud that my parents trusted me with such an expensive piece of hardware. I considered it a responsibility.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#325

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> other times you get calming silence instead I always like that Pulp Fiction line: "That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence." I don't think a moment of silence is any excuse to pull out the cellphone. In fact, I think this highlights part of the problem we have with cellphones. We expect constant entertainment, action, and…

Phones have indeed allowed people to both need and satisfy that need for constant stimulation. It's pretty sad. I'm the kind of guy in a coffee shop, waiting room, etc. who just stares into space glad that I owe my thoughts to myself and not my phone. But when everyone else has their phones out except for me, people probably think I'm a weirdo. And it's not just phones, mind you. It's televisions , also. I used to go…

I have to take a moment to thank you for this comment and that image. It demonstrates the point so well, without a lengthy read.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#326
post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In my opinion, the best thing you can do with kids is create boredom. If they have access to a shop, or some lumber, they will start to build stuff. As a kid I was constantly bored, this strategy was deeply ineffective on me. I did grow into it as an adult, but it took a long time. In short, YMMV.

Did you have have available creative outlets though, like a workshop?

Yes, my point was that I had preconditions and yet didn't reach the expected outcome. Interestingly enough, my twin brother did.

Kids are complicated and non-deterministic.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#327

Have two kids, 14/12. They've grown up as fully connected kids, have always had access to their own devices, never more than a year or two behind the Big Now. We have never imposed "limits for the sake of limits" on their screen time. I find the idea preposterous, frankly. We have no issue connecting with them, or doing family things together, or etc etc etc. If you can't connect with your kids when they have iPhone…

> the Big Now I've tried looking this up and received a quite diverse collection of results. What is this?

When your 8 year old plays Candy Crush on his Samsung S8 he lives the Big Now. I guess.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#328
post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll sign off after this. Your response puts everything on the reader rather than the writer. Yes, the reader should do as you say, but the writer also needs to take into account how the reader could interpret what's been written, not just how you think they should , and try to write in such a way as to minimize misunderstanding. Of course, all of this assumes that karma matters, the writer cares enough to put in the…

Is English not your first language? It's pretty clear that Fogest was asking if the kids get carsick and there was no implication that anyone was lying.

Yeah, there was absolutely nothing wrong - the writer had already done what could be reasonably be expected, and the remainder is now for the reader to not mess up their interpretation of a very simple question.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#329
post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you eat with someone multiple times a day, every single day, for decades , sometimes eating is just a utilitarian task you are performing to fuel your body and to not be hungry. Why does it always have to be social? When I was a kid in the 80s, we often would just get plates of food and go back to whereever we had been doing whatever we had been doing. I am someone who grew up to hate notifications: my phone is…

Do you have kids? Dinner might be the only 30-60 minute block of the day when you have the entire family in the same place, enjoying each other's company. Almost certainly so on weekdays.

Built into that statement is the assumption that the members of the family want to spend time with each other. That's often not true, especially with teenagers.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#330

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So set your account to friends-only. It's easy and you should be doing it anyway.

Dude, Facebook is the one exporting the data. The friends only flag doesn't do shit.

Hah, if only that were true. That scandal would be so big that it would likely threaten Facebook's entire business as it would lead to lawsuits and Justice Department investigations. Facebook has a privacy policy and is required to abide by it. No manager would ever greenlight a program that actively violates that as they would get canned on the spot and there's very little benefit to them.

Don't get caught up in conspiracy theories. Facebook is actually really constrained in how much "evil" stuff they can do without you knowing.

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