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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#101

Post by sha34d »

jasonmp85 wrote: post #45
citizenkeen wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife is a pediatric OT and she no longer sees children 6 and under whose parents give them an electronic device. She's on the front lines and says those kids are just... rough. Anecdotal, yes, but it's just not worth her time / money.

"Front lines"? Is this a war? Can you expand on this? She no longer sees them because they don't need services, or because she refuses to care for them? What purpose does that serve? I'm seriously dumbfounded. (edited to remove question about why a child needs OT)

Often people in these industries use terms like 'the front lines' because it is their job to deal with severely trauma effected people, and that is taxing in just about every way possible. It's tough, tough work.

What this poster's wife does is to help children who are having trouble with normal socialization. My interpretation is that she views kids with behavioral problems that have been given access to a phone before the age of 6 as too far gone. To be honest, anyone's time is limited and if the view of this Dr is that dealing with these children will take more time and not produce great results, it probably makes sense to focus on other patients, as there are always and will always be more patients demanding of more time than there are doctors x hours in the day.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#102

Post by jessaustin »

citizenkeen wrote: post #12
rayiner wrote: post #4

It's a level-headed article. Parenting, like almost nothing else, turns normal, intelligent, educated people into nutters. A rational, evidence-based conversation about screen time, breastfeeding, pregnancy, birth, education, and diet is increasingly impossible to have, especially with millennial parents. I just got my four year old an iPhone (with a data plan, because she realized she didn't have wifi in the car). I…

My wife is a pediatric OT and she no longer sees children 6 and under whose parents give them an electronic device. She's on the front lines and says those kids are just... rough. Anecdotal, yes, but it's just not worth her time / money.

...no longer sees children 6 and under whose parents give them an electronic device.

All the schools in my area have the same policy. Forget those kids!

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#103

Post by Noos »

mquander wrote: post #42
koolba wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think it should rightfully be heartbreaking to deny that to a kid who would have it. I'm going to assume you haven't seen the steaming piles that are today's kid's shows and apps. There's no way that crap is as mentally stimulating as content from the 90s (or before). It's optimized for addiction. And I'm not saying to cut it off entirely. I'm just saying the new stuff is universally terrible.

I sympathize. The new kid-targeted stuff is strange and I would be pretty weirded out to see my kid obsessed with it, that's for sure.

I think geeks forgot how weirded out their parents were by their culture. People thought Dungeons and Dragons was satanic, for example. There were complaints about comic books and video games virtually every generation they existed.

One of the most annoying things is how quickly each generation forgets the past or looks at it uncritically.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#104

Post by [deleted] »

careersuicide wrote: post #58
jancsika wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So the question that I don't know the answer to: would those couples have engaged each other in meaningful conversation (meaningful to them ) had cellphones not existed? Or does the presence of cellphones reveal that a large number of people were never particularly interested in engaging meaningfully with others but would only feign interest when the alibi of the cellphone isn't available?

This is a really good question and one I think about often. Either possibility is pretty depressing to me.

[deleted]

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#105

Post by riskable »

jasonmp85 wrote: post #45
citizenkeen wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife is a pediatric OT and she no longer sees children 6 and under whose parents give them an electronic device. She's on the front lines and says those kids are just... rough. Anecdotal, yes, but it's just not worth her time / money.

"Front lines"? Is this a war? Can you expand on this? She no longer sees them because they don't need services, or because she refuses to care for them? What purpose does that serve? I'm seriously dumbfounded. (edited to remove question about why a child needs OT)

"War is apt" because that's precisely what a child will think when you take their screen away.

"This means war!"

Younger:

Older:

Older than that:

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#106

Post by jasonmp85 »

pbhjpbhj wrote: post #88
jasonmp85 wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Front lines"? Is this a war? Can you expand on this? She no longer sees them because they don't need services, or because she refuses to care for them? What purpose does that serve? I'm seriously dumbfounded. (edited to remove question about why a child needs OT)

From Wikipedia: "Common occupational therapy interventions include helping children with disabilities to participate fully in school and social situations, helping people recovering from injury to regain skills, and providing supports for older adults experiencing physical and cognitive changes." I'm guessing a common error is to think a child can't have movement difficulties and that OT is solely about workplace iss…

Ok so maybe I was thinking those things were more PT or something.

But still "I don't wanna help your kid because you bought them a phone", needs some expansion, IMO. There are valid reasons to deny care to patients that will not comply with medical advice but I just wanted to know what about a phone makes things so bad that a child is worth ignoring until they get rid of it.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#107

Post by benologist »

QAPereo wrote: post #38
koolba wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think it should rightfully be heartbreaking to deny that to a kid who would have it. I'm going to assume you haven't seen the steaming piles that are today's kid's shows and apps. There's no way that crap is as mentally stimulating as content from the 90s (or before). It's optimized for addiction. And I'm not saying to cut it off entirely. I'm just saying the new stuff is universally terrible.

There's something really sinister about watching a toddler utterly engrossed in someone unwrapping Kinder eggs, for hours . In the 90's, the internet involved more than just slapping your palm against a screen and not blinking for the rest of the afternoon, and TV was in limited supply. Today, you never have to take a break if someone isn't there to teach you how, or even that you should.

In the 90s we watched crap literally engineered to sell toys.

http://www.retrodomination.com/master-of-your-universe-the-s...

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#108

Post by mirimir »

OK, so I'm pretty old. I remember, as a child, assuming that misadventures would be largely forgotten by adulthood. I did many crazy things, but there's no record, except for whatever people remember. OK, maybe a few FBI files buried somewhere in Washington ;)

But now? There's a record of everything. Starting before birth, in many cases. First words from smart toys. Social media. Game sites. Sales portals. Files saved by peers.

And of course, that plus the exacerbation of psychosocial craziness.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#109

Post by mywittyname »

PascLeRasc wrote: post #94
dannysu wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's true. I was having hot pot with my wife the other day. Sitting near us was a couple, both on their phones the whole time and not looking at each other. When I first played with smartphone, it was before most people had phones with Internet (it was pre-iPhone). Someone commented on how I was on the phone all the time and the lesson stuck with me ever since. Now I don't do that to people.

That's odd, one of the reasons I love hot pot is that it's really hard to have your phone out, since cooking the meat/fish requires focus and at least one hand.

But also a timer, which ironically, often turns out to be a phone.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#110

Post by otakucode »

I got Internet access in 1990 when I was 12 years old. Completely unfettered, unmonitored, unlimited in any way. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. Certainly many, if not most, kids would end up obsessing over social status and gossip and similar things. That has nothing to do with technology and absolutely everything to do with how they deal with their life in general. They're encouraged to avoid taking an intellectual approach to life, to never question or doubt their emotional impulses (indeed taught that those impulses are more trustworthy and 'pure' than conclusions reached intellectually). They're the kids that have always been popular, the bullies and the kids that get DUIs before out of high school. You can't protect them from themselves through any means if you're not willing to address their way of living.

And for the kids that aren't destined to live an adolescence of bickering and strife, they will flourish with access to the whole of human knowledge and ability to interact with online communities as an equal, without anyone knowing their age unless they choose to reveal it.

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