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Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

nytimes.com

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Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#401

Post by itengelhardt »

> Lindsay Meyer, an entrepreneur in San Francisco, said Mr. Caldbeck put $25,000 of his own money into her fitness start-up in 2015. That gave Mr. Caldbeck reason to constantly text her; in those messages, reviewed by The Times, he asked if she was attracted to him and why she would rather be with her boyfriend than him. At times, he groped and kissed her, she said.

Nice! Here's grade-A material for the 46. President of the United States of America /s

edit: added /s because it apparently wasn't obvious to some out there. Further clarification: This is a sarcastic comment on the fact that the USA have a president who has publicly admitted to sexually harassing women. With that person at the helm of the nation, how can anyone be surprised by others behaving similarly?

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#402

Post by linkregister »

ableton wrote: post #356
bdamm wrote: post #144

I have a confession to make. With few exceptions, I cannot work with a woman without thinking about having sex with her. It's not like I'm trying, it's more like the thought is a blinking red light and I can't help but look at the thought. Then I realize the thought is absurd, but it's already happened. This normally doesn't leak out, but for some women, I will give them "eyes" and usually feel bad about it afterward…

Thanks for being honest. Currently the west is pretty much attempting to eliminate gender. The problem is, humans are biologically not much different than they were 1000 years ago. So while there are these high ideals about a basically gender neutral society, the reality is that it does not, and in fact cannot exist. Currently we are in a weird time in history where people do not understand that there is a very good…

The West?

The ratio of women board members, executives, and engineers is far higher in China than in the U.S.

I think you're being down voted because of a combination of false premises and arguing a strawman, "eliminate gender." Nobody is trying to do that.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#403

Post by linkregister »

xor1 wrote: post #380
splitrocket wrote: post #369

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are saying there is a chance a bad actor might abuse a social dynamic in which you are the less powerful participant?

I'd like to think that I know how to recognize, avoid, and, if needed, placate those bad actors now. I'm not sure why you're trying to frame my concern as if it were directly applied to me, i.e. I'm worried that I'm going to be a target or victim.

Whoosh.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#404

Post by monksy »

notjack wrote: post #118
ronilan wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is people being assholes because they know they can get away with it. Nope. These people are being assholes because they ARE assholes. Never attribute to rational decision making what can be attributed to rotten character.

Then why does their behavior disproportionately affect women, who have less power to complain about their behavior? If this were entirely an aspect of their character or personality they'd be an asshole to everyone equally, not opportunistically take advantage of people who have less ability to stop them.

Mostly due to the halo effect.

Generally, when guys get screwed over by a terrible VCs it's "well they're a terrible vc ... you know them." But when it's by women "they crossed this boundry? I'm shocked!"

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#405

Post by dang »

6stringmerc wrote: post #367
balls187 wrote: post #352

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm seriously tired of this woe-is-me-I'm-a-prisoner-of-my-own-creation narrative. > Right now? I'm being emotionally abused in my current job by a woman. How can I protest? How can I not come off like an asshole for pointing such a thing out? There's no right answer, so go ahead and say it. Okay...

So, does your keyboard only have five characters or do you have something of interest to respond with other than that? I mean, three people have been shot in road rage incidents in Arlington Texas in 4 days because of people being rude and just cutting another person off and thinking it would be fine. If you're going to get in my lane, then show why you felt you deserve it. Seriously. Like it's so fucking foreign a w…

You've been a good community member and I'm sure what you're feeling is for good reason, but you can't post like this to HN. Especially not in a major thread about a divisive topic.

I don't want to ban you because I'm sure this is temporary and we've all gone on tilt sometimes. So instead, I'm going to moderate a couple of your comments in addition to the one that was flag-killed above. If after a day or two you're sure you want them to stay up, email us at hn@ycombinator.com and we'll restore them.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#406

Post by xor1 »

linkregister wrote: post #403
xor1 wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd like to think that I know how to recognize, avoid, and, if needed, placate those bad actors now. I'm not sure why you're trying to frame my concern as if it were directly applied to me, i.e. I'm worried that I'm going to be a target or victim.

Whoosh.

Please explain what I missed or misunderstood. I'm not trying to be contentious here.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#407

Post by meric »

sokoloff wrote: post #351
bt4u wrote: post #342

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are there? Please explain them to me. I'm serious and want to learn

(Assuming no supervisory relationship or other power imbalance,) Make an introduction. Make your mild/budding interest in them clear enough. Ask them to do something that's clearly not work with you. "Hey, want to get coffee sometime this weekend?" You'll find out if there's preliminary interest or not. If they're interested but busy, they'll figure out how to make that distinction clear. If "sorry; I'm busy" is the…

That chicanery happens when the man is insecure and thinks a woman won't go out with him unless it's a team dinner. If there's a magic potion to turn an insecure man to become more secure without the man doing stupid things and screwing up asking out women, you'd make trillions.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#408

Post by dasil003 »

stcredzero wrote: post #247
lawnchair_larry wrote: post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know many people like that, and no, they don't derive an enjoyable power trip out of being rejected at all. Theybdon't know they can get away with it. They don't know that they are doing it . These people are rarely evil and predatory. They usually genuinely believe that the behavior they are exhibiting is desireable. They think that this is how the game is played, and these things are a form of peacocking. They th…

I know many people like that, and no, they don't derive an enjoyable power trip out of being rejected at all. Theybdon't know they can get away with it. They don't know that they are doing it. These people are rarely evil and predatory. They usually genuinely believe that the behavior they are exhibiting is desirable. Basically, power corrupts. Being a boss, an investor, or an employer comes with power. Just having t…

> Disclosure, this comes to mind because of something that happened between me and a colleague of equal rank in a volunteer organization who went directly from "I don't think I can see a movie tonight" to "This situation is making me uncomfortable" with nothing in between.

The problem here is you're not reading signals correctly. If someone says any variation of "I don't think..." that means they are not interested. If they are interested but just legitimately busy or whatever they will 100% suggest a time that will work or at least give you some kind of an in. Granted, there can be mixed signals and it's not always the easiest thing to figure out, but you have to just accept it for what it is. The truth is asking people out is hard, rejecting people is hard, and we have these little dances to save face.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#409

Post by [deleted] »

api wrote: post #43
rl3 wrote: post #7

This entire article is a smorgasbord of cringe: > During the recruiting process, Mr. McClure, a founder of 500 Startups and an investor, sent her a Facebook message that read in part, “I was getting confused figuring out whether to hire you or hit on you.” One would think having the phrases "hire you" and "hit on you" in the same sentence when communicating with someone undergoing recruitment at your company would be…

I am white and male and the misogyny I've observed in tech has annoyed me . If it annoys me it must be intolerable to women. I believe every word of it and I could tell a few stories of things I've seen. I've seen a lot of other kinds of assholery too. Tech has an underbelly just like any other major industry. FWIW I've heard Hollywood and Wall St. are worse.

[deleted]

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#410

Post by linkregister »

microcolonel wrote: post #215
josephpmay wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is illegal in many states

Just realized it's illegal in California, what a sorry and oppressive place California is. Most of the wonders in California appear to be natural, and stand in spite of human intervention rather than because of it.

Yeah it was the naturally occurring silicon deposits that got SV started.

Film reel trees are the natural resource that got Los Angeles to be the entertainment capital.

Excellent sun coverage with access to ample water from snowpack helped the Central Valley dominate the nut industry... Well that is true!

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